the short stories

​Blaring sirens, medical beeping. “Sir, please step back.” More sirens, the defibrillator goes off. My wife’s body jolts in her stretcher. “Sir, I’m going to need you to give us some room so we can better assist your wife.”

​Helen. We were just redecorating the front lawn together. I blink and she’s clutching at her chest, gasping on the ground. I don’t even remember reaching the phone. The next instant was just full of bright red and blue lights, too bright.

​“Sir!” Another jolt. It takes me a second to realize that it was my body. He must have grabbed my arm or something. I turn my gaze from my wife to him. I feel as though I’m moving underwater.

​“Helen.” It’s an unfamiliar voice, but it’s coming from my throat. The lights are too bright, and I feel lightheaded. I drunkenly grab at the man’s arm. “Helen!”

​“Sir, you have to calm down…” Tunnel vision, I fall backwards into the darkness.

​I wake up in a white bed in an all-white room. Where…? My head is throbbing. Then I remember the garden, the too-bright lights, and “Helen!”

​I stumble out of the room and grab the nearest person in uniform. “My wife, Helen! Where is she? Helen! Where are you?! I’m coming!! Where’s my wife?!”

​“Sir, please calm down. Your wife is in the ICU right now undergoing treatment. Unfortunately, she can’t receive any visitors at the moment…”

​He went on but I wasn’t processing any of it. Familiar words floated to me. Something cardiac. Bed rest. It sounded serious.

​

​The next couple days was a blur. I don’t remember sleeping, or if I did, it was only for a couple minutes. The nurse’s prepared a room for me to stay in, after refusing to leave the hospital without my wife. I heard them whisper something about self-harm and the Breaking and somehow came to the agreement that it was probably best that I stayed. I didn’t care as long as I can be with Helen.

​Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months. Everyone around the hospital knew me as “Helen’s husband.” I’d help out from time to time to get my mind off things.

I was now able to visit Helen now that she was more stable, but she stayed unconscious. The doctors said there was nothing medically wrong with her, so it was up to her will to wake up.

They’d moved my room closer to Helen’s now that she was out of the ICU, so I visited her often. I was in her room more than I was in my own.

Holding Helen’s limp hand, I’d talk to her about anything and everything. What went on around the hospital, the new stuff I was learning here, and I’d reminisce of the moments we shared together. I was told talking to her would help in her waking up, so I was trying my best. But talking was more Helen’s forte.

Suddenly, I hear a beep, a long one. Is her heart monitor…flatlining? I start to scream for a nurse, a doctor, anyone. People in uniform rush into the room and start on Helen immediately. I’m rushed out of the room into a waiting room, and I can hear them rolling her bed out of the room behind me.

The wait is excruciating. Everything seems to have stopped except for my mind.

Helen. Dear Helen. Please be okay.

What the hell?! I thought there was nothing medically wrong with her?!

Helen…Please…

What’s taking so long?! I need to know that my wife is okay! Can’t anyone just tell me what’s going on?!

Helen… Don’t go…

A doctor approaches me. His face says it all. “Don’t.” I rasp. “Don’t say it. Tell me she’s going to be okay. Tell me she’s already recuperating.”

“I’m sorry, sir—”

“STOP IT! DON’T SAY ANOTHER FUCKING WORD! HELEN IS GOING TO BE OKAY! SHE’S GOING TO WAKE UP AGAIN! DON’T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT!!”

“Sir, please—”

“Please,” I notice then that I’m crying. “Don’t say it. If you do, I’ll break down and take my life. And she’ll never forgive me for that.” I’m on my knees, gripping the doctor’s feet with a desperation I’ve never felt before. I drop my head to his feet. It’s suddenly too heavy to hold up.

“Please. Just tell me she’s going to be okay. Please.” My voice is a whisper.

I feel a hand on the back of my head. “She…your wife is going to be okay.”

He walks away and leaves me in that crouching position. I stay that way for a while.

After that, I stopped visiting Helen. I heard she was moved out of the ICU and back into her room. Even so, I didn’t go. I couldn’t see her. If I saw her, and she looked more withered than before, I—

No. She’s going to be okay. The doctor said so. I just have to give her space, so I don’t overwhelm her. The doctors know what they’re doing. She’s gonna wake up. She’ll come back to me.

I reassured myself that Helen was just next door. She’s okay. That I just have to believe in her, and one day, she’ll just come smiling like nothing even happened.

It’s gonna be okay…

She’s gonna be okay…

The doctor said so. So just believe…

Helen…

“Baby! You stayed by me this whole time? I’m so happy. Thank you. They said just a couple weeks of physical therapy, and I’d be good to…”

I turned to the nurse. “What’s wrong with him? Why isn’t he responding?”

David, noticing a nurse walk by, ran out of the room. “Michael, do you need any help with that?”

The nurse looked after him. “He’s been showing signs since you first flatlined, but to think it was this bad…”

“What is it?” There’s a panic edge to my voice.

“I—Let me confirm with a doctor, ma’am, and I’ll get back to you. Let’s get you back to your room first…”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to say, but your husband is Breaking.”

“Breaking?”

“Yes. He’s assumed to only have a couple weeks left. I’m so sorry.”

“But, what do you mean? I’m out, aren’t I? Shouldn’t the Breaking stop when he’s confirmed that?”

“We don’t believe he’s able to see you anymore, ma’am, so there’s no way for him to confirm that you’ve recovered. He will continue the Breaking Process until he’s depleted of all his will to live, which we estimate to be a couple of weeks. We recommend you try to interact with him as much as possible and report any changes you notice in him. But these cases aren’t usually reversible, so we can’t guarantee anything…”

Every day, I approach David, but there’s never a break in his routine. Wake up at 6, eat breakfast, help the front desk staff, eat lunch, converse with nurses and doctors, stop at my old room door for exactly 10 minutes, dinner, listen to our favorite song on loop, bedtime.

No matter how many times I approach him, he doesn’t notice me. Nurses even try to help me by mentioning me during their conversation. He always smiles and dismisses it with “Oh Helen? She’s going to be okay. The doctor said so.”

I push through days and days of this. I even tried shaking him. He’d pause, looking stunned, shake his head and continue about his day.

I didn’t notice how much time had passed until the doctor mentions it: “It’s been a couple weeks. It can be any day now. Have you prepared yourself for this?”

Tears immediately well up in my eyes, but they’re not sad tears. “Prepare myself for what?! Saying goodbye to David? Why?! You said if I just keep talking to him and trying and wait, he’ll get better—!”

“Ma’am, we said that we couldn’t guarantee anything. And studying him so far, there doesn’t seem to be a sign of recovery.”

“But—! No… I came back. I came back for David. How can he just leave me like this?” I can’t see anything anymore. The tears just won’t stop flowing. All those weeks, I tried to stay strong, and it was all coming out now. “David!”

And he broke. David broke. It was the very next day. He just stopped and fell backwards. I remember his eyes were open, but there was no movement or sign of life from him at all.

A nurse rushed over. “David? Can you hear me?” She checked for a pulse. After a moment, she placed his hand on the floor and checked her watch. “Time of death, 8:42.”

“Oh David,” I sigh into his ear. There’s no response as always, but I know he must be listening somewhere. We’re lying in our bed together, holding hands. Around this time, we would’ve moved to the living room, but lately, his body hasn’t been stable for too much movement.

I gently stroke his head the way he always liked it. I lean over and kiss him where his lips used to be.

“I won’t leave you again, so you’re not leaving me either.”