The Day Her Life Changed

When it all started it was the day before my fifth birthday. If only I knew that it would change my life forever. It was the day my baby brother passed away. He was my best friend who was by my side the whole time. He was very protective of me. If you were mean to me my baby brother would hit you till you apologized. He was deaf and had a hard time fitting in and I accepted him for who he was. I also had a hard time fitting in since I had spent most of my time with my brother and I did not care, he was my best friend. On May 11th, my best friend passed away. Jonathan is someone who made me feel as though I was never alone. A few months after my brothers death, I started to notice my mother changing. She started to be super depressed and refused to get out of bed for weeks. Then one strange day my mom got out of bed and decided to get a job. She changed so fast that I never realized my mother was on drugs. My mother would hide in her room closing the door and locking it. My mother was on drugs for years before something happened. Her drug of choice was Methamphetamine. This was just the only started of my life going downhill till one day it just hit a super happy note. But of course I am getting ahead of my self.

It was only a couple months after my brothers death and we had moved to Oklahoma and it was the worst day of my life. I have always had trouble telling my story but here it goes. I was five and my innocence was stolen from me. I never thought my step-father would violate me the way he did. I was in bed when he picked me up and carried me outside. He laid me in the backseat where he proceeded to rape me, causing me so much pain that I passed out. When I had finally woken up, he was on top of me grunting and sweating. He stunk of cigarettes and beer. I passed out again. When I was shaken awake a short time later, I was in the middle of a cornfield. It had a circle of corn cut down to make a small area to hide. I was told to stand as he set me on the ground. I did as I was told. I was then told to undress, to take off my pants and lay on the ground. He then proceeded to take his own pants off and laid himself on top of me and pushed his way into me, I screamed out in pain, but nobody heard me and I passed out once again. I was shaken awake once again and told to go pee. It burned so bad, I started to cry. I was then carried back into the house and laid back into bed. My step-brother pretended to be asleep but he seen his own father carrying me back to bed. He realized that his father did something very horrible to me. He decided then that he would protect me and he did. He started sleeping right next to me on the pull out bed I slept him. He would tuck me in and then lay down under his own blanket. It continued that way until the day I was taken from my mother and put into the system. I never seen my family again except for visits in prison.

My father was unable to take me because he was also in prison. My mother was charged with child endangerment, her husband was charged with a meth lab and went away for a long time and my father was charged with possession and was addicted to methamphetamines. I did not have the life I deserved. I was put into foster care where I was adopted by my aunt and uncle who never really loved me. My aunt went to the prison where my mother was and pretended to care about me and my mother said yes that she could adopt me. My life was not a happy one growing up. I was adopted May 23, 2005. I was 9 years old and was happy for a few years until one day I just was not happy anymore. I turned 12 years old and everything changed, it changed for the worst. My foster brother Jeffery decided one night that he was going to climb into my bed and started to touch me in inappropriate places. He would kiss me, also sticking his tongue in my mouth. It was so disgusting and I was so weak and so little and I was also very tired.

It went on like this for many years until one day he was through just touching me and decided that the night before Christmas he would anally rape me. He woke me up in the middle of the night talking about wanting to show me what he got our other brothers for Christmas, claimed he wanted my opinion. He lead me to the kitchen where he claimed he had his presents for our brothers, it was all a lie. He yanked my pants down and pushed his way into me. I wanted to scream out but by the time I tried he had shoved his arm into my mouth, silencing me. It was so painful and I could not understand why anyone would harm a child. I was told to go back to bed once he was finished but I was in so much pain and so terrified, I was unsure of myself anymore. I could not protect myself.

It would be another couple years before I was raped again, but this time it was at gunpoint and it was also anally. That went like any rape at gunpoint would go. After all the times that I had been assaulted it had lead me to drink and to doing drugs. I lost who I was for the longest time. It had taken me so long till I decided that my life needed to change. I was addicted to methamphetamines for years until one day I wasn't and quit cold turkey. I was 25 years old when my life would change for the better and I would start to enjoy my life once again. I met my true love. I met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life. Anthony came into my life and things changed immediately I was happy. I got pregnant a few months later but I miscarried Alexander at nine weeks a few months later I got pregnant again and this pregnancy was perfectly healthy. Jasper was born June 19th, 2020. Every step of the journey has been unbelievable and Anthony proposed. And I said yes. More on my story later. So stay tuned.