schizophrenia

Schizophrenia 101; look beyond the pop culture portrayals and learn the reality behind this oft-stigmatized mental illness.

Stairway to Darkness
I felt good today, better than I had in a long time. My meds sat in silent accusation on my kitchen table, untouched now for days. But, I felt good.
By SJ Nichol 5 years ago in Psyche
The Stuff of Dreams
The Devil himself appeared in Magda’s dream one night. He was ten metres tall and everything she’d ever been led to believe; goat’s eyes, horns and legs, a woman’s breasts, snake’s tongue and bat’s wings. Fire, brimstone and acrid smoke surrounded him as he smiled purposefully at her.
By Jonah Jones5 years ago in Psyche
Do Good and Communicate
Everyone around me seems to have busy days full of work and success. I don’t mean to sound insensitive. I know it can feel monotonous. But at the end of the week, they can say they worked and made money and lived just like everyone else.
By Luke Haddad5 years ago in Psyche
More Important Than My Fears
Struggling with Schizoaffective disorder has resulted in me doing and saying a lot of things that I regret. The most impactful but least notable was when I yelled at my brother four years ago. I know he’s going to read this, and I want him to know this is an explanation of progress and not a confession to lingering guilt. I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
By Luke Haddad5 years ago in Psyche
The Delusion
Always running about like a rat in a maze I'm a free rat as long as I stay in the maze When will I find freedom, that taste of luxury
By Phoenix Rose5 years ago in Psyche
The Second Flight of Icarus
When Regor first discovered the body, Luka was still clutching what he called his "little black book with me poems in". At his side was a bag containing an old worn toothbrush and a comb that was missing more teeth than it had. Apparently, the elastic bands holding his shoes together had been upgraded to silver duct tape. His old Baird television set was still on. It was the only thing Luka brought with him when he moved into the Chalfont rest home. The sound was off. Regor didn't notice the old black and white rerun of Gomer Pyle on the screen. "Oh Luka", he thought, "now you've gone and done it." His old friend looked like shit. He wore a dirty satin shirt with small cigarette burns trickled down the front. He was sitting at the piano, his eyes still open. A burnt silver spoon sat on the glass table nearby. And he held his sacred black book tight to his chest. In his other hand he was squeezing a bunch of one hundred dollar bills. Must have been 200 of them.
By Phillip LoFaso5 years ago in Psyche
No Plain Jane
I entered the room and saw her just sitting in the middle of the floor on a mattress on an unmade bed. I took one more hesitant step into the room and she looked up at me. She had a faraway look on her face and her eyes rose to meet mine but she did not respond to me at first. I later found out that her name was Jane, like in plain Jane but she was anything but plain that I can tell you.
By Mary McDonald5 years ago in Psyche
Schizophrenic stigma
Hello ...To start off im going to tell you a little about my self The names Have change to protect privacy My name is Charlie. Im in my late 50's shhhh. I live in Manitoba Canada. I have lived a life for at least 2 people. My story beggins with my mother My mother was a mentally Ill Parinod Schizophrenic person She would have hallucinations, in which her senses aren’t working right. She would hear voices that make fun of her tell her things to do- harmful things. Or she might see things that aren’t really there.....Paranoid Symptoms Delusions are fixed beliefs that seem real to you, even when there's strong evidence they aren't. Paranoid delusions, also called delusions of persecution, reflect profound fear and anxiety along with the loss of the ability to tell what's real and what's not real. My mothers name was Molly. Small pettie 4 foot 9 inch women Molly was a very beautiful women [not that matters]. But it does. In the sence that people look on the surfaces and not into the intelect. A point of view of what they wanted to see and not what it was Molly had three kids they each were born 2 years part Two girls and a boy. Chalie, trudy, and steve..she also had another son that was taken from her when she was 15 years old, So a total of 4 kids. Molly had a 6 yr grade education. Molly was very well readed. My mom would read almost every day. When she went to write her GED. She scored a grade 11 without studing for it Her life was a living hell ... at 15 she was raped! Molly than had a son she called Dan. When Dan was around 3yrs old my mother went to child family service for help. The reason being my grand father was molesting her. My mother was a minor. So they took Dan and left my mother to fend for herself ...Why! she was a minor too ??? When they took my brother they put him up for adotion Again no efforts were made to get him back home ..I did bring this up to one of my uncles when i was about 24 yrs old. He told me it was the government. How do you fight the government? No one help her, no support. Not until the Government step in. I was always furrious at my relatives for not being there for us kids. There was not one good excusses my relatives could give why they wouldn't help us 3 kids But I too had to except that I was not their responcibility So sad that we didn't matter Little to no efforts were made for us 3 kids on our behalf What gulled me the most The adults would say to me "Charlie you are the oldest You need to take care of my siblings". I was 6years old!... how riducluous is that statement .. I did try ..But running away was easier Molly meet my father Vern. Vern was born in Ireland in about 1942 Vern was sent by ship to live in Canada when he was just a wee baby with a realtive I was told .. He was tall 6'2, dark hair, strong chin good looking Vern had a strong resembled Elvis Presley. Vern was also an alcholic. When Molly got pregnant with me. My grand father litterly got a shot gun found my father and told him he was going to marry my mother [And you thought shot gun weddings didn't exsits LOL] I was born in the fall of 1964. One of my few memories of Vern was a time he was beating up my mom I remember trying to interven But Vern hit me so hard that I litterly flew across the room at 3 years old [Ha.. he was suppose to be the better parent] I think not! Molly was so desturb that my father left -and left for another women. My mother spent a lot of time trying to find him We moved coutless times accross Canada to find Vern. Vancouver, Calgary back to our home town/city The 2nd last time I saw Vern ...he took me to a restaraunt. I dropped a french frie on the floor ...I begged ....him not to leave me! I said I would clean up the french frie off the floor [at 3 years old] ...I totally remember this How could this man look in his own little girls face and not care Well he did a little ...because when I finally got to speak to him the year 2000 he told me he remember the restauraunt french frie memory p [who cares right!] Molly's mind was going deeply into mental illness trying to raise 3 kids trying to stay normal with no help despratley looking for Vern it destroyed her ...I believe her mentall illness was there for years and year attributing from my grand father molesting but the more stress she was under the more she was see things -hear things Mom put towels and blankets on the mirrors t.v ...I even remember her screeming into a mirror. Mom was getting more and more down the rabbit hole I have to back up a little ...A little more from the younger years Just to give you an idea of what we were dealing with.
By Rae Dyck5 years ago in Psyche
Kara's Quick Kiss
Jake was getting closer. Oh, my God, oh, my God, here he comes! "Yeah, I think it was rated as one of the best comic shows of the decade!" Lana was still gushing about her new “show of the week” on our walk home from Cheyer High.
By Sienna V. Feruzi 5 years ago in Psyche
A New Beginning
I was very skeptical about the future coming to the end of 2020, I had experienced such gradual mental hardships in the past year then I had ever in my life. It doesn’t help that the world has been conquered by COVID-19 fears and allegations about the sickness. You can’t help but wonder sometimes if it’s the end of the world or when is it all going to be over. I had hoped that the New Year coming meant things were going to change that my mental health was going to change. However, after reading so much about my mental illness and trying to be as positive as I could be, it just didn’t seem that anything was going to change. I had never in my life wanted it to all end then I did in 2020 and I’m not sure if 2021 is going to be better. In order for me to continue to be as healthy and prospering as possible. I’ve realized that it’s important to stick to being grateful for anything that has to come in 2021 but I know after encountering doctors and my family. I’ve considered that it is important for me to realize that bettering yourself as a person is what really is going to count despite the fact that I have Schizophrenia. I have to become more mindful, disciplined, and creative with what I spend my time on. The first task I want to conquer is my health, I started fasting to clear my mind and body from toxins that have entered my system and has taken over my overall physical and mental health. It’s been hard, sometimes I felt so tired and hungry that I couldn’t get up in the morning, but I’m forced too because some of the dreams I have are about my delusions I had on the beginning of my newly found diagnosis. It is always about me being this chosen one and having to save people from the world. Or sometimes they get so jealous they try to kill me but can’t because I have special abilities to keep them from hurting me. I can’t shake these dream’s; they enter my mind over and over again. I start to think that it might be reality sometimes for me, maybe I am this special person that people are trying to destroy. Then I talk it out with myself and humble myself all over again. It isn’t an easy task and most of the time I feel like I’m being punished. Yet, I’ve decided to take this into accountability and not only work on my physical health but my mental coming into this new year. I know it’s going to be a challenge and sometimes I will fail but other times I believe I can triumph. As long as I believe I am smart enough to conquer these delusions and voices I hear during the day I can help others. My ultimate goal is to become so wrapped up in understanding myself that I can understand and relate to others with the same diagnosis. I hope, for that is what makes me want to get up in the morning and continue this health binge, too become so intelligent in the dynamics of Schizophrenia. That I enter a new world of gratification and a new reality that sets aside the hardships and gives others hope that you can become someone great in the midst of the challenge of mental health. I know I have to take baby steps to get there and the first step is to become involved in a program called Students with Psychosis online. I have really come to admire the founders of this organization and realize that it is my ultimate desire to interact with others that have the same unique obstacle being faced.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Psyche
A Brotherly Bond
My brother, I woke drenched in sweat again this morning. I'm not sure if it’s my own or that of another's. No matter- this makes, what, a straight week of waking sopping wet in the same tired, disgusting clothing? Jesus. I ask to bathe day after day only to be met with their silence. These ingrates act as if they can not hear my scream. Caleb, Caleb, can they not hear me scream..! Reducing my presence to a mere disgrace, forcing excellence to plead to clean themselves - just to clean my own fucking body. The audacity. Their audacity, leaving a grown man caked in his own filth.. I can hear you brother - bleating, baaing, begging not to falter to the pity, not to succumb to its pull. I taste the disdain mingled with your fear brother, but Her song - her song is much too sweet to ever resist. You'll see. You too will bow before Her grace. Besides, what point is there to a head held high when it's sneered at in return? Your face, brother, our face.
By Taurrin LeDe5 years ago in Psyche
The Last Episode
Her life is nothing less than chaotic. That is the least she can say and, it is the most. She sits there thinking to herself. Will I ever be happy again? She thinks she deserves more. How does she go about declaring her worth? Why does she even have to? What point needs to be made to be made worthy again. Who is going to love , a broken schizophrenic? As she recaptures her last episode...
By Jackie Ruiz5 years ago in Psyche