recovery
Your illness does not define you. It's your resolve to recover that does.
Starving to Death
My narcissist husband was empty in a way that was very different from my emptiness. I thought that his quest for fuel was insatiable and tragic. The constant need for external validation, for eyes and ears to hear and see, the thirst for attention, the hunger to feast on their adoration.
By NARC Troopers With Prajinta Pesqueda5 years ago in Psyche
My Head and My Legs - Self Harm
When I was a freshman in high school, I was two years into my parent's divorce. I no longer had anyone watching me when I got home from school, and while I did get attention from both my parents, I always felt the need to impress them.
By Kataryna Izol5 years ago in Psyche
What are the Tips to prevent daily ailment?
It's significant to learn that you're not the only one going through such a phase after enrolling in a sober living program in California. Typically, the majority of people face a similar problem. Keeping your recovery in viewpoint, we have eight drug ailment prevention tips. It will prevent you each day in the transition from an addictive substance life to a sober life. Use them sincerely for the sake of your health.
By Rebecca Tyler5 years ago in Psyche
Confusing Touch
As I look back over my life, instead of seeing a victim, I see someone who was strong enough to survive and has managed to turn out to be a pretty decent person despite all of the challenges I've faced. I had an upbringing marked by childhood sexual abuse by my uncle and the dysfunctional family that worked to hide my father's alcoholism. Due to trauma, I developed PTSD. I'm also bipolar which is commonly passed on in families. I believe my father self-medicated his bipolar disorder with drugs and alcohol.
By Stacy Davenport5 years ago in Psyche
Recovery Is a Different Road
I wouldn’t precisely describe the journey that I’ve been on for the past few years as recovery from mental illness. I think a better way to describe it would be to say I’ve been learning to manage my illnesses and putting coping strategies in place to improve my quality of life. From the outside that might sound quite cold, clinical even. From the inside, it’s been a process of acceptance, trial and error, patience and tenacity.
By Alicia Brunskill5 years ago in Psyche
How I Changed My Life
I had an ok childhood. There was good times and there was bad times. That’s pretty much just like everyone else, right? Well the difference between me and everyone else is my parents did drugs in front of me. I never had a chance. I was set on the path that would lead me to some dark places. By the time I started high school I was a full blown addict. I wanted nothing more than to party! School was not on my mind. It was in my way. So I quit my second semester of my senior year. I know dumb right! Well I ended up meeting this guy that worked at the video store next to my work. We started dating and I find out his parents own the store. He was rich.. Bingo I thought. We moved in together and I ended up pregnant of course. So cliche.. We don’t make it. Now this whole time I’m clean. I was 21 when I had my daughter. When she was 6 months old we split up because I walked in on him and this girl Jennifer. All trouble broke loose. I had my mom and grandma with me. I had to stop my family from going left. Well I started using again. Eventually I hooked up with this guy that I known since I was 13. He was my brother’s best friend. We get together and stayed together for 8 years. During the time I’m heavily abusing drugs. I’m not a good mom or person. I got a call from cps asking for a visit at their office. We go down there and they inform me that my daughters father is accusing my boyfriend of violating my daughter. She was 3. We completely complied with the cps and everything worked out. Then when she was 4 her father took her for a regular visit on spring break. In March. He has me served with paperwork from the court saying he is taking full custody and there was a temporary order already in place because she had herpies a very bad case on her genitalia. We went through the process this time I left my boyfriend and then I find out I’m pregnant with my ex boyfriend son. I was 8 months pregnant when he failed the lie detector test. I. Was devastated. I looked like a fool. In court I lost custody and no visits no contact. I grieved my loss of my daughter as a death. She was just gone. I had my son and when he was 6 months old I started using again. This time I started hearing voices outside my window. I didn’t tell anybody because I was scared of mental hospitals because of the movies. I had a bad image. When he was 8 months old I had a nervous breakdown and was admitted into a mental hospital. I was terrified. I discovered that it wasn’t like the movies. Big surprise right! I spent 2 weeks there. I was diagnosed as bipolar. Some time passes and I’m running the streets going to dope houses. The 9 yards. You know the stories. Same here. One day in 2013 I woke up one day and said “ not today” I checked myself into the hospital and spent time there. I had let my mom take in my son. I promised my son when I came back for him I would have him his own room with lots of LEGO. I was homeless. I found out through the driver of the van that transports people from hospital to hospital. That they had a program for people like me that would pay for 3 months rent. I found the owner of a boarding home he was also affiliated with the courts. He took me in. When my 3 months were up he told me as long as I stayed sober I could stay and pay him back when I got my benefits from disability. During my time at the home I also found this clinic that works with people like me. I met this dr. She was the most awesome woman I ever met. She knew her stuff. She finally properly diagnosed me as schitzoeffective. I get on different meds. Now this process is definitely the worst experience of my life except for my daughter. It was trying and difficult. I wanted to give up so many times. I held on and finally I got Invega. It totally changes my life I didn’t remember what it was like to be normal. To not hear voices break you down until you start talking back. This time I was awarded a grant for housing. I had completed a year on a treatment contract. I had to go to therapy and group therapy every week. I had to meet with a case worker 2xs a week and spent a hour with them. I had to take random drug test and medication levels test. I had my blood analyzed. I had to meet with my psychiatrist as many times as she wanted. I could do that because I was put on a special program for people who end up in the hospital a lot. Well this let Medicaid approve as many visits as needed. I slowly found myself changing. At about 6 months sober my emotions woke up and hit me all at once. I mainly felt guilt for everything I did to everyone. I would cry myself to sleep at night just hurting in my heart. I swore that I would not be like that again. I changed with that experience. It cleanses you to let your emotions out like that. My thinking was changing my outlook on life was changing. I was a different woman. I was awarded the grant that paid my deposit and a years rent. I found an apartment close to my parents house. They wanted to keep an eye on me. They still didn’t trust me. I repaired my car. I had my son his own room and LEGOs. I had won my disability claim. I rebuilt my life from scratch and it has been 7 years and I am still independent. People borrow money from me. I still have work to do. I sent a heartfelt message to my daughter and she responds. I was elated. There are no words to capture my feelings. We started talking. Little by little we are building a relationship. So I clawed my way out of the hole i dug for myself and I used my resources and every opportunity that presented itself to the max. My family turned their back on me. I was alone with God. He carried me until I could stand on my own. I couldn’t have done it without Him. The people I met and ran into I needed at the moment. All God He gets the glory.. Today I am living a simple drama free life. Just me and my son. It’s a quiet place and it’s peaceful. I love it. I’m happy.
By Mickie Marie Aguilar6 years ago in Psyche
Understanding PTSD Recovery
My story of recovery started when I was very young, and I suffered PTSD symptoms that worsened as I got older. The PTSD symptoms I had developed due to childhood trauma. My father was an alcoholic who had anger issues. I remember times where he would spank my ass all the way up a flight up stairs and make me piss my pants. There were many incidents where I feared that he would actually kill my brother. I would hear loud banging, yelling, and my brother crying. It was horrific to hear. It left me fearing my father rather than loving him or respecting him. As I got into my teenage years, my father's alcoholism became a bigger problem after my paternal grandmother died. My father spiraled out of control for years, and I was often there to help pick up the pieces throughout my entire life until he died in 2016 when I was 38 years old. Alcohol damaged his liver, and the family spent years trying to save his life. My relationship with my father caused a lot of my PTSD symptoms later in life.
By Stacy Davenport6 years ago in Psyche
5 Signs That You Are Emotionally Healing
Healing from emotional wounds is some of the most meaningful work a person can do. Even though I got into therapy pretty much as soon as I started college, I spent years repeating the same mistakes in various configurations.
By Eve Berkovich6 years ago in Psyche
