anxiety

A look at anxiety in its many forms and manifestations; what is the nature of this specific pattern of extreme fear and worry?

Thoughts Intrusive and Critical: Part 1
Me and my brain, right—are like two colleagues at work who smile tightly at the other when they pass on the fourth floor corridor to the stationary cupboard. My brain is the kind of co-worker that thinks nothing of jumping the line to the photocopier or snagging the last muffin in the cafeteria. You stare at them, full to the brim with silent outrage—and if they bother to look in your direction, they shrug as if to say "What? It's what I do."
By Jessica Bailey7 years ago in Psyche
I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore
I couldn't wait to grow up when I was younger. I was thrilled that I had my whole life ahead of me, and it was up to me to choose what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. I had no idea I would be blindsided in my adult life and lose sight of who I am—was.
By Jen Ai7 years ago in Psyche
S.A.D.
The picture above portrays my deepest struggle in life. The struggle I've been battling for years. In the last four, it's become crippling beyond belief. That picture is of me, lost in the vivid beauty of the light while keeping a safe distance. I can see it right there! A way out of all of this. I am hesitant, my mind and thoughts viciously holding me back to no avail.
By Brooklyn Powell7 years ago in Psyche
You Won’t Die in Paris from Anxiety
The sky had darkened, creating a beautiful ashy canvas for burnt orange street lamps and neon signs to ricochet off. Standing in the middle of it all, I began shaking, hyperventilating, and heaving next to a taxi rank.
By Marianna Michael7 years ago in Psyche
Interviews with a Big Black Broad: Sessions #7
Interviewer: When did you began to seek professional help to treat your BDD? BBB: I'm sure it's not surprising that I was reluctant. I was complacent in dealing with my issues on my own up 'til the age of 28. I hid from mirrors. I would dwell in front of mirrors. I took down mirrors. I put them back up. I spent all my money on food, alcohol, makeup, hair products and expensive girdles of all kinds. I hid from the world for days and weeks on end. I drank to endure those moments when I gave in to the mounting pressures I felt to rejoin the world even when I felt the worst about myself. The annoyance of having to deal with a disorder that caused me to focus so much on myself had also taken its toll on me. I wasn't a purposefully vain person. I wasn't someone who would choose to be so self-consumed. I wanted to travel the world. I loved people and wanted to meet more of them from all walks of life. I didn't want to assume that everyone who stared at me only did so because they saw someone ugly. I needed the courage to live the life I ultimately wanted. How could I live any longer without being able to face myself in the mirror? Without being able to leave my house without being inebriated in some way? So, I faced the fact that I would remain stuck in the same positions in my life (literally) if I didn't at least try professional help.
By Anarda Nashai7 years ago in Psyche
Social Anxiety, My Experience
Social Anxiety and PTSD I went out recently with family. I thought I was over my fear of crowds until we headed into town which was crowded. I was nervous, fearful, panicking, and shaking. Everytime I walked through the crowd of people in town, it felt like they were rushing at me, leaving me feeling spaced out and scared. I feared I was going to be attacked. There was no logic in my fear, because I know I am safe where I live. My feelings come from the past, because in the past I was attacked in my home, and in town.
By Carol Ann Townend7 years ago in Psyche
Doing Me
Is anyone else totally OK with being alone? My anxiety has forced me to be alone for so many years. When I say alone, I do have a dog (since 2017) and I do have a husband (together 9 years, married for 2) but he’s away so often with work than I often spend so much of my time alone.
By G I7 years ago in Psyche
Anxiety Horror Story - Episode 1: The Concert
End of summer, 2016. I was on the way to this live show event with my “friends” at Counter Culture, the new venue in my small little town, Saginaw, Michigan. When we get there, I automatically realize how lame I look compared to everyone else, start to feel self-conscious, out of place. It definitely was not my scene and I barely knew any of the bands there too. The room is absolutely PACKED with people, to the point where the main concert room is spilling into the lobby and outside. The room is LOUD, my ears ringing. More and more people are piling in, I start to panic. I look around, searching for my friends—familiar faces in the crowd. I see them far away, across the room, submerged between a sea of bodies. They laugh, dance, together, unaware of my existence. How could they so easily forget that I was there? How could they be so blissfully ignorant of the fact that I wasn’t even with them anymore?
By Lita7 years ago in Psyche
They Left for the Day
After seeing the abuse and the mistreatment of other patients in my hall, I had to remain alert. I was not going to speak unless spoken to, and I was going to keep to myself. I did not want to give the techs a reason to notice me. I was beginning to feel tired, but there was no way I was going to be able to sleep, not even for five minutes. I decided to just sit in my recliner and watch television.
By Rachel Bonneval7 years ago in Psyche
Tips for Understanding Anxiety
What's it like for those living with anxiety? So they say it is easy to move on, to forgive, and even to love. It seems that by now it should be easier and not so hard to do the simple things that make you feel who you are. It is like you want so hard to breathe but at the same moment, you just can't do that one simple thing you know how to do.
By Meghan Laprarie7 years ago in Psyche
Am I a Failure?
Anxiety is a bitch, I think we can all agree. It keeps you up at night or wakes you up in the middle of the night, it plants thoughts and worries and doubts into your head about your character, about who you are as a person. It makes you not want to clean, or shower, or get dressed, and it tears apart every bit of power or confidence that you thought you had.
By cheyenne 7 years ago in Psyche
Why Anxiety Makes Me Seem like a Bad Friend
I'm not a bad friend. I'm not a bad friend. I'm not a bad friend. These are the words I repeated to myself as I cancelled yet another party, another dinner date, another movie night. I've unwittingly become a master of excuses.
By Emmy Thompson7 years ago in Psyche