anxiety
A look at anxiety in its many forms and manifestations; what is the nature of this specific pattern of extreme fear and worry?
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 12)
When I was very small, I had a recurring nightmare that I was being crushed by a boulder. Upon waking, rather than leaving the nightmare behind, I was visited instead by vivid, disturbing hallucinations: My body was shrinking. I would stare at my fingers, tapping them together as my hands became smaller, daintier, and near invisible. Yet, even with my eyes closed, the sensation was there—the shrinking, dissipating feeling as I feel myself swallowed, suffocated by my suddenly enormous bed. Panic would swell as I'd spend what felt like an eternity gripped in the certainty that I was shrinking down to nothing.
By Haybitch Abersnatchy7 years ago in Psyche
Changes
Anxiously, I paced back and forth in my den. I am distracted by a painting on the wall that I had painted years ago. Thinking how could I forget about me, and my family, and sit in the dark for so many years. Anxiety had taken all of the fun from my life. Every panic attack I struggle with day by day. My body shakes with fear and guilt. I question myself. "Why does this happen?" I decided everyday open the curtains up little by little and see the light. I need to fight. I need to be the person I use to be. Yes! Yes! Yes! But it's always no. That's what I always say, but will I be able to do it today? I stared at the curtains and lit another cigarette. I'm really contemplating what to do. Stop thinking and just open it, just a little crack. All of this is going through my head as I take another puff. I scream, "Stop it brain, just shut the hell up!" I'm tired now in a fight with myself. I left the room with my cigarette smoking in the ashtray. My body is shaking. Where is my medicine? I need to take it. My hands are fidgeting around in my purse. Finally, I find it without pouring everything out on the bed. OK, now I have to wait for a few minutes and I will stop shaking. I need to occupy my mind with something—anything. I could do laundry, but then I would have to wait for it to wash. And put it in the dryer. I could do the dishes, but everything is clean. I don't remember the last time I ate. I slipped down the wall, wrapping my arms around my head. I give up! I'm crying! I can't deal with my runaway mind. I look up and see a little mouse hiding under the hallway table. I sit and stare at it for a few minutes. Then it runs away. I think great, now my already falling apart house is infested with mice. The lights start to flicker. They are on the walls. I lay on the floor with my ear against the wall. I can hear you little bastards. I go to the kitchen and see if I can find some poison. All of my cabinets are filled with mouse poop. I gasped and cried at the sight. Looking down at the stove, more poop. All of my cereal ruined. Now, what do I do? I have no poison. And I have no car. It broke down two weeks ago. I run to get the broom and bleach. I swept everything out of my cabinets on to the floor. I filled the sink full of bleach and started cleaning. The lights are flickering again. Oh my gosh, the mice are in the walls eating the wires. How can I fix this? I'm all by myself. I have no family. I have no friends. I have the very little money that is my disability check. In the middle of bleach, I throw down my sponge and rip off my gloves. Puddles of bleach water with mouse poop floating around me. I run to the front door. Holding the doorknob, wanting to set me free. It's a struggle with the panic of the sunlight and the safety in the dark, but my dark sanctuary has been invaded by creatures. I have to think!!! Make my mind work. It's hard to concentrate on one thing. I still think about the laundry. I still think about how a warm bath will calm me down, but this will not fix the mouse poop floating in a river of bleach. Mashed potatoes flack cereal, taco seasoning, and bags of dry beans. I'm crying again holding the doorknob. "I need help," I mumble!!!! God, I pray for your help. By now my medicine has kicked in and I go upstairs and lay down, not looking forward to tomorrow.
By Lori Dickson7 years ago in Psyche
The World of Anxiety
Anxiety. The cause for pain in children, teenagers, and adults. An unnecessary pain that leaves us asking so many questions, all leading back to the same singular question: Why? If we are being specific (which, in the case of anxiety, we must do so), then it can also be "Why me?" or, "Why not somebody else?" Unfortunately, that is a question that will most likely never be answered, and if it is ever answered, then that would truly be a well-needed (and deserved) break for all of those who suffer from anxiety, if not a miracle. But, alas, we do not yet have that answer of which we have been looking so long for, but we have each other. Here is my advice that may hopefully help you with your anxiety, and remember, before you begin: we are in this together... You are NOT alone.
By Wesley Karlin Windsor7 years ago in Psyche
Panic and Anxiety
Having panic and anxiety disorder is like being kept in a prison. Anxiety without panic is where a person may get nervous in certain situations, anxiety with panic is where the person becomes nervous, but also begins to feel an intense sense of fear.
By Joseline Burns7 years ago in Psyche
Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 10)
So, up front. This is not a call for help. This is not a request for care. I am perfectly capable of committing myself to professional care if my ideation goes from, "well, that'd be nice" to "let's do this." I'm good at means reduction and putting safety measures in place. So please refrain from any helpful actions. That is not what this is about.
By Haybitch Abersnatchy7 years ago in Psyche
What It's Like Living with Hypochondria
I can remember the very first instance in which I started to worry incessantly about my health and about death. I was watching a TV show and the main character had been diagnosed with a severe, terminal brain tumor. From that point onward, I obsessively worried about whether I had one, too. I would Google the symptoms: Headaches I have that, memory problems I forget what I was doing the other day, and fatigue I'm always tired. I would stay awake for nights on end worrying about not waking up in the morning and succumbing to this cancerous brain tumor I was so convinced I had. The only way I could sleep was by tiring my mind, with all the excessive worrying, and I had no other option.
By Sharna Neale7 years ago in Psyche
My Anxious Life
In order to love fully, trust entirely, heal wholly, grow freely, forgive, thrive and move on, I must be vulnerable, be accepting, find understanding, be willing to change, acknowledge and release pain; be open to starting over learn to let go and find peace.—Alex Elle.
By Lisbeth Mejía7 years ago in Psyche
Dealing with Conflict While Having Anxiety
I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was about 10-years-old, and at that age, I only really experienced it when I was in the presence of a specific person. I had a traumatic experience because of this person. At 10-years-old, I was shouted at badly and it’s affected me ever since. However, for the longest time, I didn’t know I had anxiety. I also developed depression about three years later because of bullying. It takes a lot out of you. I learned to hide my emotions as I didn’t want anyone to know what was happening—this included my friends and my parents. I also became very secretive and started isolating myself.
By Annie Curran7 years ago in Psyche
