Sleep talk

I was medically diagnosed for having Anxiety and I’m not even shocked.

I knew I have it for so long but I found myself recently just have the courage to find me a therapist to confirm it.

Every time I’m being left alone with my thoughts, everything’s overwhelming. To the point that tears are running through my cheeks. Because I don’t know what to do with them.

My October feels like everything’s getting worse, but I told myself, I can get through this. I believed myself.

Weeks passed, the thought of believing myself I can get through it became overwhelming, I then couldn’t take it anymore.

One night, everyone’s already in their dreamworld, I suddenly woke up.

I moved my gaze to my left where my boyfriend is sleeping sound. He looks like an angel that I can’t dare to move a muscle just to not wake him up.

I grabbed my phone and saw it’s 2 AM. Put my phone down and stared at the ceiling.

My thoughts this time are getting loud. I didn’t notice I was already spacing out. I got fogged by the words in my mind,

“Am I better off of this world?”

“I’m so tired.”

“Living is tiring”

“Should I just end everything..?”

The loudness of thoughts numbed me until a sound is heard from my left.

“Baby..”

It was my boyfriend. I thought he’s asleep.

“Please take care of yourself.”

He said in a serious and straight tone.

Please take care of yourself.

I hummed in question wanting him to explain more what he just said. I’m in shock, I never expected such thing.

I was speechless.

Questions then followed,

‘Has he been hearing my thoughts in his sleep?’

‘What made him say those five words out of his mouth in the middle of the night?’

‘Is he having a dream?’

I stared at him for a few minutes to check if he’s really awake, I waited for him to move but minutes passed, he remained still and continued his soft breathing, which tells me he’s in his sleep the whole time.

I got my focus back to the present and reflect to what just happened. That was such a great timing.

I needed to hear those words. I guess.

My reflection involves the books I’ve read before that changes my perspective to everything in this planet and in life. Something mystical and not everybody can believe right away.

But as days passed after I read the book, everything is slowly making sense.

I read from the book that we all have personal spirit guides. Since they can’t come talk to us directly with their own mystical features as they are from the other dimension, they’ll use something on earth that a human eye and mind can bear to understand just to communicate with us.

When our guides notice we’ve been getting off of ourselves, the may send a person, or use a person to tell the exact words they want to say to us. And then eventually you’ll one day become aware that this certain scenario is just a phase, and everything happens for a reason.

Even though I have a diagnosis like this, I’ve been a very spiritual person.

In my beliefs, I say it was my spirit guides using my boyfriend’s human body to pass the message they’ve been desperate to say to me to calm my self down from the thoughts in my head, and keep living life forward, saying everything’s going to be fine.

I guess my guides already knew I’m aware of everything happening to me and just needs a little confirmation that I’ll be fine, but half I think myself, my boyfriend just sleep talked.

-End-