Remembering Me

What is Identity?

According to Wikipedia, “identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance, and/or expressions that characterize a person or a group.”

It is also said that “ identity emerges during childhood as children start to comprehend their self-concept, and it remains a consistent aspect throughout different stages of life.”

Well, I have a few problems with this idea of identity. What we think is who we are often obscured by how others treat us and what kind of environments we were born and raised in. We have been conditioned to believe things, which we see and hear day and night at home, school and/or the society. Sometimes, we don’t even know that is the case, and we live our whole life without knowing our true selves. - Our Identity, which wasn’t learned or influenced by anything outside of us.

Throughout my life, I have always been or tried to be a helpful, caring and supportive person to people around me. My deep compassionate and energy- sensitive nature have been my biggest asset and gift in my life. Yet, they also have been a part of the reasons why I struggle to understand and accept the person underneath the facade. In fact, I didn’t even know that I was wearing a mask everywhere I went. I would pick and choose which masks would be appropriate for the occasion and situation I am in. The act was so ingrained in me that I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing until I was forced into isolation from my family& friends, the general public due to the pandemic. That made me question my life and broke me into pieces: Identity ground zero moment.

Things happen in life. With each challenge and obstacle I faced so far in my life, I overcame it with faith that it would be okay in the end. Personal stuff I can handle. But things that happen to people around me and loved ones are another matter. I had to learn to grow tough skins, not be afraid and frightened so that I could be one to support them, if not physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Sometimes, trying to make sense of things happening in the world causes us to feel angry or afraid even helpless. Some things are just not in our control.

-Why innocent lives are unjustly taken away?

- Why do bad things happen to good people?

These are questions that most of us, if not all of us, ask at least once. Unfortunately, we are not likely to find answers. -not the ones that all of us can wholeheartedly agree with. But finding the answers that make you feel good about yourself and your life might help you to remember who you are.

I learned that some things are just not meant to be controlled. Most importantly, they are not our responsibility or business. - such as other people’s life and death.

I also learned that some things are not meant to be understood or explained because we just don’t see the big picture. Our brains are simply not capable of comprehending such intricate and interwoven ways of how the universe works.

I learned that we replace and create our identity through outside influences such as the opinions of others and the norms and values of the society we live in. In the process of learning to survive and be a part of society, we eventually forget our true identity.

I learned that by accepting things we have no control 0ver and releasing resistance to the fact, we can uncover what we have forgotten about ourselves.

Even living over a half century, I have yet to discover who turly I am; I have a sneaky feeling that I might not reach a point to where I could say, “This is who I am” in absolute confidence.

Then again, maybe that’s what it is life is all about. Uncovering our true self - Our Identity.

“We are not who we think we are. We are a lot more than what we know, and more courageous than we feel we are. See it within.” - Ayumi Hino

#lettinggo #acceptance #metaphysics #somethingtothinkabout #livelaughlove #faithjourney #identity