Observing Reality

Spring snuck through the cracks of my cabin door on an early April morning. I prepared quickly as I could not miss this opportunity.

It was difficult to collect the data I needed over the winter, so this was it.

I let Yoko, my puppy, trample over me to say goodbye before I completed my mental check list. I found it was more time consuming if I did not make sure I had all I needed before I left. Strictly since I would have to come back home to grab what I forgot. A regular occurrence. It is a necessity to take a running tally three times before I can leave.

Notebook. Yes.

Laptop. Yes.

Keys. Check.

Wallet. Check.

Food. Check.

Tote bag with everything I could ever possibly need. And check.

I had lived in my tiny, modern cabin in Strandakirkja for 2 years up until now, studying for a master’s degree in biological sciences. The report I was writing for my dissertation had only taken months of preparation and today was the day I would finally get my chance to capture the missing element.

I slid into my black Toyota Yaris and took to the highway. Driving through the country-side of Iceland never ceases to amaze me. Even after 2 years of taking the same route to school nearly every day, I still find new details that make me marvel in awe. The way the light rises against the current in the ocean. The crisp air grazing across my face. And of course, the emerald green blanket of a landscape. It is honest in its sheer beauty.

I will never regret leaving behind everyone I knew in Canada. Although, a place of beauty on its own, the essence and raw way of life is much different in Iceland.

It takes me about thirty-five minutes to arrive to class. I glance at the clock as I take my seat in my first lecture of the day.

Dr. Árnason always made an entrance with a joke. I have deducted that it must be his way of getting the attention of the students without being a bore.

He sighs as he walks in with laptop in hand, “you know, biology jokes are so good, they cell themselves,” and shot a look approval among the class.

Leony, who might I add, a total bombshell, pipes in, “Ah Jason, not good! That is so lame!”

She was so lively. Her hair was light brown, medium length and was always styled in the cutest ways. Much better than my boring, fit-in with Iceland blonde hair. Not only was she beautiful, but smart and supportive. I was lucky to call her a best friend.

Leony had introduced me to the most gravitating local areas. Pubs, scenery, taking photos, studying…the adventures we had together were irreplaceable.

I was a day dreamer. Unfortunately, it would get me into trouble sometimes. I would end up staring at a fixed point on a wall while I let imagination run wild. Other times, it would end up looking like I couldn't help myself from staring at someone; a bit off putting for those who didn’t know me.

Jason clears his throat, “Lyria, you’ve done it again.”

Shit. Why did I have to stare at him.

Dr. Árnason; an invigorating Icelandic man. Established, intelligent, and charismatic. He dressed modernly and always was clean shaven with a fresh haircut, styled to one side. Sometimes hairs would fall out of place over his forehead. It always happened when he was extremely taken by a topic. It was the passion for me.

“Your hair is a mess,” I craftily remark.

He smirks back and begins the lecture.

Leony leans in with a whisper, “a god isn’t he?”

I nod with widened eyes while his back is turned and fan my face. Leony giggles softly.

Whenever we got together it was like two grade schoolers who were up to no good. Pure trouble.

I only had time to attend half of my lecture before it was time for me prepare my equipment in the tech lab. I said goodbye to Leony and swiftly dipped out of the lecture hall.

Now that I didn’t have any distractions, I could focus on the main objective of my day.

Getting into the lab, I connected my camera to the iMac and started sorting through the photos of wildlife I had gotten the chance to snap a shot of already. I was lucky to get a few Arctic Foxes, a puffin, some whales, one polar bear, and of course a reindeer. An impressive portfolio, but I was missing one of the rarest sightings. My entire report was written about methods of tracking this one species and this evening, I was going to document it.

I had run the moment in my mind over and over.

I looked at my phone. 11:30. What?! Okay. It was time to eat, then go over my plans for the route, and study before catching a quick nap in the library.

An egg salad sandwich and apple juice. It was a quick meal, I was too excited to stomach anything more. As I sat in the library, I set an alarm for 2:30 p.m. I opened my books on organic chemistry and started cracking the problems. I always dozed off during organic chemistry.

As suspected, I was rudely awakened from a brilliant dream with Dr. Árnason. I dreamt of him often. I wondered if he ever gave an extra thought about me in return. I sat up straight from the soft couch I had drooled on.

Embarrassing.

I hoped no one saw me in the act. I looked around and saw I was the only one in the library. I let out a sigh. Okay, it is time. I go over my final dissertation report once again and gathered my belongings.

I entered the student parking lot and got into my car. I had set my GPS to go to Flúðir. It is a small village and sightings were reported here in the past. It was about one and a half hours away by car so leaving by 3:00 p.m. was right on time.

I had driven this route before; once with Leony. The yellow-green and emerald hues against the dark rocks made you feel as if you were experiencing a live painting created by Van Gogh.

Once I arrived to Flúðir, I settled into the pub, Rauðhettan. The waiter was a blond man with chilling cerulean eyes. He asked me for my order, and I cleared my throat and said, “a pint of your finest beer and some bread.”

He nodded approvingly and came back five minutes later. I took out my laptop and started to pinpoint the areas I wanted to explore the most. Most of the places I wanted to visit were within five kilometers of Flúðir. One area I wanted to go to first was southwest and only a quick four-minute drive. I finished the last of my bread, left cash with a tip on the table, and loaded back into my car.

Pulling along the side of the highway, I notice a barn in the distance. I figured that was a perfect area to scout. The barn was very old. If I had to guess, it was around seventy-five to one hundred years old. It had a slant from the winds and rain that crashed upon it during the years. The wood had faded into a musky grey.

Since the sun was already setting, it was the perfect time to set up my camera and watch. I had learnt that if you wanted to photograph wildlife without getting detected first, you must have a way to find them before they find you. I had a camouflage tent specifically designed for hunting or wildlife photography. I also had a motion sensor synced to my camera. Each time it sensed movement it would take a shot in the direction I had the camera pointed. Of course, I would have to readjust the settings from time to time depending on lighting conditions and the distance of the object. I was set up on the south side of the barn, waiting. I would not let myself miss it this time. I had tried to capture this sighting for nine months by going to different sites, but no luck.

I heard rustling in the grass around me. I imagined it was the field mice playing and running around while they gather food for their newest offspring. Suddenly, the wind started to pick up and I was worried it would start to rain. The forecast hadn't declared rain, but anything can happen when you are surrounded by an ocean.

Was that a few drops?

I waited for the downpour. It started to drizzle a bit more intensely with the wind sounding through the field and through the cracks of the old wood on the barn. I felt anxious. The window of time to gather the data that I needed was closing. At the point where the rainstorm started to pick up, my camera was shooting picture after picture.

Since the clouds made it darker than it would have been typically, starting to worry, I whispered under my breath, “what is outside my tent?”

I hadn’t noticed the fence post nearly 10 feet away from my tent at the time of set-up. I heard an unusual flapping. By the sound, I could tell the wingspan was huge. I readjusted my camera to fixate onto the post. I was thinking it could be a hawk.

Taking a quick glance at my camera’s display, I froze in absolute reverence. Vast, yellow eyes looked right through me. It was as if I was no more than 3 feet away from it. I felt so shaky, so exhilarated.

I had finally caught the long-eared owl.

A fantastically rare sight in Iceland. The snowy owl was more of a rarity, but I found the aloof habits of the long-eared owl to be tremendously intriguing. I always thought it looked kind of mad. I could not stop staring at the most stunning photo of an owl I had seen. Its wings were spread to their fullest extent while the owl’s talon’s were retracting downwards towards the grass in front of me. The whites and browns in the feathers blended so beautifully together that it created a mosaic of patterns. Each detail of colour highlighted in the photo.

It had seen the field mice, too. The rain in the shot created a long exposure which fashioned such a grandiose essence.

The anticipation that the photo represented was symbolic. I had waited a long time to attain a shot of this creature, but I had never imagined it would be something of this magnitude.

I wanted to try to capture it sitting atop of the fence post, so I grabbed my camera and started to slowly shuffle out of my tent without making any noise. I looked at the fence post and saw the silhouette of the owl. It seemed like its head was turned the other way. Steadying my breath, I snapped a quick shot. I was wrong. It was looking directly at me. Patiently, quietly.

I took another look at the photo, the eyes were not yellow this time.

I glance up as the owl swiftly grappled onto my tent. At this point I had become directly eye-to-eye with it. The only lighting I had was the camera’s display. My breathing became noticeably shaky and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. I had chills running up and down my body. As I gazed into it eyes, I noticed the reflection of the cosmos. Each star shining as a small dot in the centre of this owls eyes.

I blinked a few times to check if it was real. Yup, still there. Okay.

What is this creature in front of me, really?

I was frozen.

I waited for the owl to make the first move.

Unexpectedly, the rain stopped immediately. The silence became deafening. I had sensed that the frequency had changed. It was as if everything in the universe at that moment was holding its breath. The uncertainty of the silence started to creep into my psyche. Never being one to be incredibly spiritual I started to wonder.

What is reality?

What are the confines of the physical world that we wake up in everyday?

Are we alone?

While deliberating the existence of extra-terrestrial life, I noticed a long shadow behind me. A humanoid figure. I did not dare to look behind me. The presence of the being had me perturbed, however, I also experienced a deliberating feeling of relief simultaneously. It did not speak as it placed its hand on my forehead. I closed my eyes and surrendered.

In the same instant, I was blowing past all of humanity’s archives, downfalls, records, and pivotal climaxes at light speed. As terrified as I was, I did not sense a malicious intent. Instead, I was in this white space being buzzed by the timeline of civilization like a fast-forwarded movie. I was the observer, much like the owl. I wondered why the being was showing me all of this.

A voice in my head quietly murmured, “understand the past to see the future.”

Did I say that out loud?

No. I didn't.

It could read my thoughts? Understood.

When we arrived in the present day, it showed me the exponential corruption our world faced. The pollution, the struggling ocean life, the civil disruption among nations, and the overall uncertainty of humanity’s demise. Would AI destroy us or help us advance to be an interplanetary species like this being with me right now?

The answer to my question was unknown.

Once again I heard the being speak in my thoughts, “you must lead your own way, this is the way.”

Okay, so I was supposed to just live my own life? Like I was before? I was aware of how unstable our current world was.

How can one person be the current of change?

Everything I had ever known came into question all at once. I realized, the construct of our own reality is shaped by our actions, beliefs, spoken word, and interactions with one another.

Still, this realization did not give me any power as to how a little master’s degree student like me could do anything to create a ripple effect of change.

The being slowed down the images and shockingly, stopped on me. On a recent memory I had with my study comrades. Happy, laughing, and dancing around the campfire outside of my cabin. It then showed me how that moment had an impact on everyone's life who was there. Students who had been depressed and dejected came home with a new outlook that, maybe, just maybe this life isn’t all that bad. If feelings of pure bliss could exist, then it would all be okay. This belief bled into their schoolwork, their family lives, and impacted the thoughtfulness of their actions.

I now understood that the essence of existing within a frequency of pure love is the main vein of connection to the metaphysical.

The field around me was still quiet, but this time I was tuned into the hum of the universe. Infinite, endless.

I took in a deep breath. As I was exhaling, the being had disappeared and so had the owl. I looked around frantically for any proof of what I had just experienced. Not a trace.

I flipped through my photos on my camera once again. I was afraid that the incredulous shot I had taken had been erased by whatever magnitude of energy that was.

It hadn’t. Perhaps the being understood how much it meant to me.

Packing up the rest of my belongings into my car, I felt light-headed. I vomited and sat in my car for what felt like years just staring into the darkness.

To change the current and unfortunate circumstances our world faces, I needed to “lead my own way.”

I thought I was doing that, and to some degree I was. However, not in complete conscious. Not considering the grand scheme of the universe. I now understood that I needed to create a chain reaction based on love, not force. Not anger.

I started up the engine and made my way back home. The drone of the highway acted as a comfort to me. The question of, “how can I make a difference?” repeated in my head until I arrived at my cabin.

My puppy gladly greeted me. I held onto her long, white fur for the longest time.

I said boldly, “let’s change the world, Yoko.”

I could not sleep so I stayed up and finished my dissertation. I had all the data, the graphs, the migration tracking strategies, and at the end a description of the demeanour of the long-eared owl along with my photo.

At the end, I wrote, “Upon examination of this species, it was discovered that there was much we do not yet understand or even have the ability to conceive. Further investigation is required to deepen the knowledge of behaviour. Why is this species so immeasurable? One guaranteed variable is that to understand more, impeccable timing is essential. By allowing an observing silence to enter the vicinity of study, the loudest secrets will be revealed.”

I submitted my research paper and heard back from Dr. Áranson two weeks later. He caught me walking around on campus.

"I was in awe, you illustrated the confines of the species so well and eluded to the mystery we still have yet to uncover. Incredible."

I was pleased to hear my paper had done so well.

I shook his hand, "thank you for such a refreshing insight!"

He piped in again before I turned to leave,"it made me think about the parallelism between this species and us. We study our behaviours but yet, we are enigmatic in our nature. Maybe if we took the time to slow down and focus on what really matters, we could understand the true purpose."

I smiled, "I couldn't agree more."

Although I did not explain my experience that night to anyone, not even Leony, I throughly understood why the long-eared owl was such a rare sight.

Since then, I have been advocating for what is important to me and the impact on others around me.

I see that the time to broadcast change is now.