Not even Superman Could Stop Me Smoking Ciggies!

In my early teens, I was a bit of a Hermione Granger. I would watch the older boys at school smoking behind the bike sheds, then snitch on them to the headmaster …

‘NO BOYS, YOU CAAN’T. I’VE GOT TO TELL A TEACHER!’

You get the idea.

My concern stemmed from a public health poster that was pinned to my bedroom wall. It featured Superman battling with an evil adversary known as Nick O’Teen. Superman's speech balloons would contain phrases like …

‘Don’t be a weed. Never smoke cigarettes. Stamp out Nick O’Teen!’

Very sound advice I thought. You should always trust a man wearing a blue leotard and red pants.

But just as Hermione changed from teachers pet into parent obliviator (harsh!). I morphed into a teenage dirtbag with long greasy hair and a heavy metal addiction.

And that’s when I tried my first ever cigarette!

I was with my friend Davy at the time. If you don’t know him, I wrote a little story about our altercation with King Charles III. My name-calling was cruel and I beg forgiveness | by Simon Aylward | Never Stop Writing | Jan, 2025 | Medium

Anyway. I took my first-ever drag, choked on it, then almost threw up. It was absolutely disgusting. Davy laughed at me, then took a deep drag on his and blew a huge smoke ring at me. It was a bit like the one Gandalf did in Lord of the rings. Very clever!

But little did I know, in that moment, Nick O’Teen had already won me over. For the very next day I found myself not just wanting to try another, but actually finding myself needing one!

Now, if anyone has read some of my other posts they will know I have a bit of an addiction problem. To pretty much anything!

So as expected, smoking took over me completely. Within just a year, I was smoking 20 cigarettes a day. Then over time it gradually crept up until I was on over 40 a day at 30 years old!

Then the chest infections started …

I would get the worst chest infections! Each year they got worse and each year I would try to give up smoking. I tried gum, patches and even cold turkey. But nothing worked.

At this point I had developed asthma and was using inhalers from the doctor. I would sometimes take a puff on that first, then take a puff of my cigarette. I literally couldn’t breathe!

Then one day by accident, I was in a charity shop and noticed a book on the shelf …

‘Allan Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Smoking.’

It said inside that if I finished the book I would likely never smoke again.

‘Bollocks!’ I thought.

Well thankfully, I couldn’t have been more wrong!

The way the book works is that it allows you to smoke all the way through until you finish it. It is hard to explain, but I can only describe it as hypnotic suggestion in written form.

I followed the instructions, which basically just consisted of; ‘Read the book!’ Then when I got to a certain page, I suddenly realised that if I turned the next one, I would never smoke again!

So I prepared myself with some extra inhaler puffs, then had two cigarettes one after the other.

I turned the page …

They were indeed to be the last cigarettes I have ever had!

This was 17 years ago now. I have been very very lucky! I have had a chest X-Ray recently and the Doctor said my lungs were as clear as a non-smoker. I didn’t think that was even possible! but it does show that it’s never too late to quit.

One thing I have never understood, however, is why this book by Alan Carr was never made available to the public health service. It would likely have saved millions of lives, and all for the price of a read!

Alan, sadly is no longer with us. He did in fact die from lung cancer at the age of 72. But he smoked 100 a day before he gave up. Here is his WIKI if you are interested Allen Carr — Wikipedia

I owe this man my life.

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Originally published at https://medium.com/never-stop-writing/superman-couldnt-stop-me-from-smoking-0cfedd382607