Moral Tea

Morality is not a fixed construct.

Morality is better when worked out between the two parties. Or all parties involved.

Morality should be pre-political, worked out first outside the realm of society. Have your own personal beliefs, or interpretations of holy books… but we should be agreeing about moral values outside of that. Just like with a law, morality is not dictated by religious scriptures. It’s the religious values that (for the most part) align with secular morality… not the other way around.

Because it’s not what you’ve done to harm society, first and foremost, that’s the problem. It’s what you’ve done to harm the other party, the other person. That’s the biggest problem of all. It should be about protecting people, pets, and wildlife.

Society doesn’t always know what’s best in this area. Society doesn’t always know how to make it better. In fact, sometimes it seems like they make it worse. Or unnecessarily escalate the situation. But the people involved, they usually know what to do.

Once you get past the veil… the veil that separates us into groups … a lot of the people, the perpetrators and victims, they often know how best to make it right. It might not be a clean process, but they eventually know what to do.

Society can often complicate a situation where a simple solution is needed. Or the prescribed remedy can make it worse. So the next best step is to listen to each other. All of us talking it out. Yeah, as hard as that may be. It might be chaotic or uncomfortable, but it’s also the only way that we’ll find a solution to all the problems associated with that given issue.

Morality is knowing the knowledge of what you’ve truly done, and finding the will to make it better. Having the will to listen to someone else about making it better. No one can decide for that person what will make up for it. It’s like making amends. Not like, that’s exactly that it is.

Or if you’ve been wronged, then it’s the opposite. Someone has to make amends to you. You get to decide what is needed from the other party. You don’t have to settle for anything less. It doesn’t matter whether it’s convenient. Making amends isn’t convenient, in fact. As it shouldn’t be.

Making amends is unlike any other formative moment in life. It’s not a performance review, or whatever the opposite of that is. It’s not a rite of passage, or graduation. It’s not even an apology. As much as it seems that way, an apology is only half of it. It’s about asking is there anything you can do to make up for it. And if there’s not, can they forgive you? If not, that’s their choice.

It’s like brewing a perfectly balanced cup of tea. You shouldn’t make the water too hot, or should let it cool for at least 20 minutes. Then each type of tea requires different steeping times. Also, it’s your choice if you bob the teabag up and down or just let it sit. And it’s also a matter of taste if you add sugar or honey, and how much. Then there’s stirring, hopefully without losing any of the liquid. So even a cup of tea isn’t one thing, it’s a process.

As the song says:

you don’t mess with love, you mess with the truth.

Morality is about the truth. No matter where the truth leads, we have to follow it. Because that will dictate what the complete solution will be. Just like making a cup of tea, or conducting a science experiment, you might not know where you going when it begins. If the process is followed faithfully, however, you will end up exactly where you need to be.