Maybe His Bigger Plan Means Bigger Struggles

“Wait — I’m sure God has something big planned for you!”

She looked down, feeling something unfamiliar, as she listened to that same comment for what felt like the millionth time. She remembered hearing it ever since she was a teenager. Her mother’s voice echoed in her head:

“Have patience, be grateful, and don’t complain.”

She sat in her car, clueless, and started driving, trying to find things to be grateful for. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do, right?

She looked up at the sky. Maybe this clear sky with clouds?

“Yes, for sure,” she told herself. You’re grateful for that.

“Oh, and it’s a bit chilly, and your car has seat warmers,” she added, trying to convince herself. “Yes!” she desperately replied out loud.

Then she realized she could do everything by herself. A small spark lit up in her eyes. But that spark quickly turned into moisture and those tears began to float before rolling down her cheeks.

Yes, she could do everything, but when she was tired — when she needed help — there was absolutely no one to turn to. Gratitude turned into something else within seconds.

Her thoughts spiraled again. She thought about how everyone around her seemed to be progressing, while she felt stuck. She tried to think of other girls she knew, not a single one was in the same boat. They were all loved and cared for. People looked out for them.

And here she was, realizing no one did that for her.

Then came another thought: Maybe you don’t have what it takes to get that.

And then another: What about those who wronged you, who schemed, who went below the belt? What about them? They got everything, and you’re still sitting here questioning it all.

“You’re comparing yourself to the wrong people, girl,” she told herself. “You were never meant to be in their lane. You were supposed to focus on your career and goals.”

Then she remembered, she was proud of herself before the big move to a new country. She thought her amazing qualities would take her far. But now, it seemed they hadn’t. Maybe she was just… average.

That thought hurt.

She remembered giving her entire twenties to her career, studying on nights she didn’t want to, studying on her way to work, during work, even after ten-hour shifts. The tears wouldn’t stop now. They were on a roll.

Where am I lacking? she asked herself again, but no answer came.

As she searched for answers, a heavier thought arrived: Maybe it’s my sins.

She decided she would repent — but then remembered she’d done that too. This spiral had become an everyday thing now.

Her thoughts started heading somewhere she didn’t want them to go but she couldn’t stop them.

Is God’s distribution unfair? she wondered. But she had always learned that God is just.

She tried to make sense of it all, but she was clueless again.

Then she thought even those who have been granted everything often end up on the verge of disbelief.

Her chain of thoughts broke when her phone rang. She picked up and listened another reminder of how she was expected to take care of her parents, too.

Her heart grew heavier.

She sighed and whispered to herself,

“Maybe His bigger plan really does mean bigger struggles… and bigger responsibilities for me.”

#Faith #SpiritualReflection #MentalHealth #Loneliness #PersonalGrowth #Belief #LifeJourney #Healing #GodsPlan