Learning to Feel Without Falling Apart

I’ve been told I’m “too emotional” for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I didn’t understand why I felt things so deeply. Emotions would hit me hard, and I didn’t know how to manage or process them.

Even into my early and mid-20s, I struggled to find control over my emotional responses. I was still learning how to understand what I was feeling and searching for a healthy outlet to let those emotions move through me and eventually release them — but I never really succeeded. That started to change when I began doing grounding work and connecting more deeply with my spirituality. That journey helped me become more aware of both my conscious and subconscious feelings. But to truly understand myself, I had to go into some dark places — places filled with pain and trauma.

I call these spaces the “dark abysses.” Most of us avoid them because we’re afraid of what they hold. Facing them means taking responsibility for the healing, and that often means confronting immense pain we don’t feel equipped to handle. So instead, we bury it.

It’s like a dog burying a bone: they dig a hole, drop the bone in, and cover it up. Eventually, something — whether the same dog or something else — uncovers it again. That’s what triggers do to us. They unearth pain we thought we had hidden. And if we don’t know how to process those triggers, we can’t truly heal. We end up with emotional holes scattered across our spirit and energy.That’s why I believe processing your emotions is one of the healthiest things you can do.

No one is “too emotional.” No one is “too sensitive.” We’re all wired differently. We all process things in our own way and in our own time. Just because someone moves through something faster than you doesn’t mean they’re stronger — just different.

I tell people all the time: it’s okay to be emotional. Society might see it as a weakness, but it’s not — as long as you’re learning how to manage and understand those emotions. That’s the key.

I’m still on the journey of mastering emotional control, but I’ve made real progress. I’ve become much better at communicating, even when I’m feeling deeply. But sometimes, when a trigger hits a wound I haven’t healed yet, I still spiral. When that happens, I give myself permission to step back, go to a safe space, and ask: Why am I feeling this chaos inside? What is this emotion trying to tell me?

We need more compassion — toward ourselves and others. We need more space to feel. We need to normalize emotional processing. And most of all, we need boundaries.

For me, boundaries have been crucial. They’ve allowed me to process my emotions without feeling overwhelmed or misunderstood. They’ve also helped me communicate more clearly and calmly. And when I do communicate — even from a place of emotion — I’ve learned that I need to listen to understand, not just listen to respond.

Mastering your emotions, grounding yourself, and learning how to process pain in a healthy way will eventually lead you to a kind of healing you may have never experienced before. It’s not easy — but it’s worth it.