Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
My Name Is Alex, and I'm Addicted to Xanax
I was 14 years years old the first time I took a Benzodiazepine. They weren't prescribed to me like they are to most. The provider of my first dose was my mother. My mother always kept about 60 Pro-Lorazepam tablets in her purse at all times. My mom's been taking the stuff since she was 19 years old. At the time of this story, she was probably about 52, so she had 33 years of continuous use under her belt at the time. One night she had left to walk the family dogs and she always left her purse sitting on her dresser in her bedroom. It had never crossed my mind to steal these pills from her, but I was getting to an age where I was curious about experimenting with drugs. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what they were going to do to me, so I went into her room and pulled back the zipper on the top of her black leather purse. Inside the purse was a makeup case containing her prescription drugs. I opened up the makeup case and took out the Pro-Lorazepam and popped the safety cap open. I knew she'd never notice they were gone. I proceeded to dump four pills into my palm and dry swallow them, without hesitation, right there in the dark of her bedroom. I snapped the top of the pill bottle back on and positioned it exactly as I found it in her makeup case. I closed her purse carefully, positioned it just as it was, and settled back down into the basement for whatever trip I was about to experience. To sum it up, a 14-year-old me had just taken four one milligram tablets of Pro-Lorazepam, which would be eight times the recommended dose for somebody of that age.
By Alex Camacho8 years ago in Psyche
Borderline Personality Disorder
People with borderline often have mood swings, and as such, they can also be bipolar. I tend to dump people who are unstable. Borderlines also project a lot making you the one at fault, when in fact, you aren’t. Borderlines get angry or depressed, in such a state that lasts only a few hours to a few days. Borderlines have difficulty with interpersonal relationships. They also self-injure through drinking or cutting, or are outright suicidal from their deep depressions. Now in my untreated family, nobody admits their depression even if they have it. Borderlines are all about black and white thinking. Look out for landing on their black. Princess Diana was a borderline, but her kids do not have it.
By Iria Vasquez-Paez8 years ago in Psyche
Suicidal Thoughts
It's 0038, I can't sleep, and I know why. I've avoided writing this because I like to think of myself as strong but not so long ago, I found myself at my weakest point. This topic overwhelms me and I'll be honest, I am in tears right now as I write, but here we go...
By Yedzayi Nenjerama8 years ago in Psyche
You Do Deserve Love
Relationships are hard. Trying to have a relationship while having a mental illness is extremely difficult, but not impossible. Whether you have anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or etc., it is not impossible to have a meaningful, sweet relationship.
By Tianna Watkins8 years ago in Psyche
Living With a Mental Disorder
Living with a mental disorder can hold you back from so much. I was standing in line at the dollar store. It was around 10 PM, so I was literally the only person in the store. I was already having a pretty rough day with my anxiety. Well, I got to the check out. The cashier asked me how I was doing. Out of nowhere, my anxiety just choked me completely and I couldn't even speak. My total came out to around $7 and I needed a few ones. I was so terrified to ask the cashier if I could have five ones and a five dollar bill instead of a ten dollar bill. I made a weird noise and practically ended up running out the store.
By Ashlyn Marie8 years ago in Psyche
The Subtle Ways Anxiety and Depression Affect Your Work
There are many ways anxiety and depression affect your work. Depression and anxiety can be mental disorders on their own or the symptoms of mental illness, including mood disorders such as anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, and major depressive disorder. Regardless of your mental health, stress affects us all, and even those of us who are balanced and content can suffer from symptoms of depression and anxiety.
By David Porter8 years ago in Psyche
Bipolar and Schizophrenia Meds I Have Tried
Long before I found Geodon, I tried quite a few medications in order to get stable. The first I tried was Zyprexa, which didn’t take care of the whole problem right away. I was on a dose of 10 mg of Zyprexa when I was in junior college working on my A.A. in creative writing and my A.A. in anthropology. I was also on something like 75 mg of Effexor, and I was started on thyroid hormone at 20 in 2001. It didn’t get stable until 2002-2003. I was on Effexor until I got boils at San Francisco State, which appeared on my face. I had to beg them to lower the dose because of the side effects.
By Iria Vasquez-Paez8 years ago in Psyche
Narcissism and You
Have you ever come across that person? You know, the one that you could be screaming at the top of your lungs "PLEASE LISTEN TO ME AND UNDERSTAND WHAT I GO THROUGH!" and they simply just make you feel out of the box. They don't seem to care if they hurt you or make whatever you're going through worse. Well I have, and battling with anxiety and having to deal with this person almost every day of my life has been a real downhill battle for me. Most people diagnosed with anxiety are also diagnosed with depression. I guess it makes sense how they go hand in hand. Sometimes my anxiety is so bad I can't figure out a way to get out of my head and in that I just get depressed because I know I will never be able to truly enjoy life's little pleasures. This narcissistic person in my life fails to come to terms with it and wishes to stay in denial. That just makes life harder for the both of us because as a person with high functioning anxiety I tend to try to and get them to see themselves through my eyes. I forget that narcissists don't think they've done anything wrong and will turn the situation on you and say, "well maybe if you didn't..." or, "maybe if you did..." Let's just say it's a big unnecessary vicious cycle. I want others that have this narcissistic person in their life to understand... nothing will get through to them. Just when you think you have, they come right back with punches. I love this narcissistic person in my life, but for my mental health, I can't just sit and take it anymore. I have found the best way to cope and deal is to ignore. I won't try to fix you if you don't try and fix me. I have gotten into countless arguments trying to explain how my anxiety makes me feel and how I wish they'd at least try and see it from my point of view, but I just always end up getting hurt. I can't speak for narcissistic people but I can speak for people with anxiety, and we tell ourselves daily all of the things we wish we could do or fix or become, but reality is we can't do anything without ourselves. I mean our happy, honest selves and not the picture we try to paint in our heads. I realize that to some anxiety is seen as an "excuse." Well, then this article isn't for you. I won't convince my readers when I have to do that every day after I try over and over again to for just a second forget about my problems. I try to forget about the what ifs, the what could happens, the how do I make this person happy, and the hardest question: How do I make myself happy? It's not a once in a while question, it's a every day get out of bed and make sure everyone else around me is happy. Narcissistic or not, don't give that unnecessary extra battle for someone with anxiety. You might just make them one step closer to happiness.
By Chasity Snow8 years ago in Psyche
Evil in Our Stories #3
Qu'est-ce que c'est (What is it?) Serial killers and psychopaths are nothing new in our storytelling, having theoretically started in fairytales such as Blue Beard, but more on that later. Before the 1900’s Jack the Ripper engrossed England and this story has been so mysterious no one is sure what is true or false about it. The psycho-killer villain particularly took off with Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho which won the Golden Globe in 1961 . Other important examples to note are Dexter, American Psycho, A Clockwork Orange, Sweeny Todd, Seven, and video games L.A. Noir and Heavy Rain.
By J. Laudicina8 years ago in Psyche
