Latest Stories

Most recently published stories in Psyche.

A Day with Anxiety (In High School)
Nauseated. I wake up nauseated. It's 6:34 AM. Every day, it's 6:34 AM. I lay in bed thinking of all the events to follow—all of the almost panic attacks, almost crying, almost puking—lying in bed feeling nauseated.
By Dakota Shadow7 years ago in Psyche
Living with PTSD
Let me start by saying that I get it! I understand now that living with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a continuous daily challenge. Nothing but an uphill battle, and I have struggled with it my entire life. What I am about to confess are things that no one else knows, so secret is out now I suppose. Everyone that I surround myself with all assumed that I had no real issues. My mother even told me at one point that I handle myself very well all things considered. However, they don’t know what demons I have to battle on a daily basis underneath the surface. But is that not always the case? No one ever really asks what is going on… and if they do… do they ever really care?
By Alyssa Horn7 years ago in Psyche
Crazy for Life, and Okay with That
So in hindsight, I should have called this "Crazy for life and Working with That," but I've already made the graphic so sod it.
By Kirstyn Brook7 years ago in Psyche
My Story
Hi. My name is Makena and here is my story summed up about my metal illnesses. Illness #1 - Depression I grew up with depression. I knew since I was 13 that I had depression. It’s something that I kept to myself. My parents never got along and my childhood memories of them being happy are very slim. There was no love in my household. I failed school, I was made fun of by my peers, and I struggled with my weight. I was 13 when I started self harm. I was 16 when my parents decided to divorce. I was 17 when I first thought of suicide. I told my mom and she couldn’t understand. Ten days after my 23rd birthday I got home from the bar very drunk and high on cocaine. I then grabbed my bottle of Valium and took every pill I had left. I began to feel my pulse slowly fade away. I woke up five hours later and drove myself to the hospital. I was sent to a psych ward where I was held for six days and then I went to rehab. I saw a number of counselors and was put on medication. So far it’s working. I still get little bursts of feeling really low and wondering why I’m still here. But I’m still here.
By Makena Roach7 years ago in Psyche
POV
While writing a new chapter in my book today, I was aware of a new twist: walking away from abuse and abusers for so many decades I eventually had no abuser to escape outside myself and that was when I had to stand still and see my truth.
By Gabriella Grace7 years ago in Psyche
Eyes of the Beholder
Isn't it funny how we can put on nice clothes, comb our hair, put on makeup and suddenly we look all put together. It’s crazy because underneath all of that I still feel flawed. People look at me and they think I’ve got it all put together. My Instagram is filled with filtered pictures because without one I feel like my skin isn't clear enough. I feel like my eyes don't look bright enough. I love being me then some days I hate being me. Constantly comparing myself to other women trying to figure out why I wasn’t born with this or that. It's deeper than that. I once read that when placed in a room, women look at others to make sure she’s the prettiest in the room. How terrible is that? Sad to say that I’ve done it multiple times before. Maybe because someone buried the idea that I was ugly in my head before I could make my own opinion about myself. Maybe I’m just not that appealing as I would hope to be. Either way, society has conformed our minds into thinking we have to have a certain look. Well, quite frankly, I’m over it. I cant deal with pressure to constantly change my look to be defined as beautiful. I’m ready to write my own kind of beautiful.
By Mariah Harvey7 years ago in Psyche
Moving out of State: The Anxiety & Depression
June 27, 2018. My last night in Santa Cruz, California, the only place I had ever known. I spent it with my best friends, sitting on the tailgate of my Toyota Tacoma up in the mountains watching the sunset. The whole thought of actually moving away hit me that night, as I dropped my best friend off at her house. Right as she slammed the car door, I knew at that moment it was going to be hard, but I had no idea just how hard it would be. I remember the day I left, my 16-year-old self-had to drive herself to a whole other state with a full car. I remember saying goodbye to my house, my safe haven, where I grew. I remember driving down Highway 1, the people, the places, and the memories behind me. Every exit I passed, I felt like a tiny piece of my heart went with it.
By jenna j 7 years ago in Psyche
Top 10 Things to NOT Do in Rehab. Top Story - August 2018.
10. Don't fight with the doctors, nurses, social workers, or maintenance staff. While on the surface this seems like a rather obvious concept to most of us, most patients—whether it is their maiden voyage into this realm of treatment or they are a well-seasoned traveler—enter such facilities first needing to detox from their substance of choice, and no one does so exactly the same way, from recovery time to adjusting to (possibly) new meds. And, of course, everyone is at a difference level of reality in terms of accepting their situation, and their course of action is usually the default setting of some combination of anger, confusion, depression, indifference, hostility and remorse.
By Daniel McCaffrey7 years ago in Psyche
The Causes of Substance Abuse
Most drugs and alcohol use comes from the genes in the first place. There can also be a history of mental illness since the person who has drug and alcohol problems is self-medicating, like I used to do as an all around addict to caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and second-hand marijuana smoke. Childhood trauma can predispose one to substance abuse since the way to deal with all the C-PTSD flashbacks I used to have is related to how much alcohol I was drinking so that I could cover up my feelings. Peer pressure also causes somebody to fall off the wagon only because the group doesn’t think there is anything wrong with alcohol or drug abuse.
By Iria Vasquez-Paez7 years ago in Psyche
My Friendship with Depression
I want to start this article this with a recommendation, a book that has helped me through tough times: it's called Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. This book made me cry every time; it was like the writer knew exactly how I felt and knew how I wanted to feel. I strongly recommend it to people who, like me, struggle with depression. It helps to know that you are not alone. I hope that will help anyone who reads it and I hope you will be okay. Be strong, always.
By Antonela7 years ago in Psyche
Woman vs. Food
"If you're going through Hell, keep going" —Winston Churchill My Story There are many reasons why someone could develop an eating disorder (or ED for short). They could fill books with all the reasons, situations, and psychology behind them. (Actually… I’m pretty sure they have… ). And, as much as I would love to explore those reasons, that’s just too much information to cover here. In fact, I’m not even going to dive too deep into why my ED behaviors started (for personal reasons). But, to put it briefly, when I was a kid I always felt as if I wasn’t enough. With anything I did, I always thought that I was going to do something wrong, that, no matter what I did, I was always going to come up short. That feeling of inadequacy mixed with my anxiety and spiraled me into what I now know as ED behaviors. When I felt I had no control in life, I could control what I ate. But there was no specific moment that made me that way. When I look back, I just remember having these thoughts and rules around my body, what I wore, and what I ate. But that’s kind of how an eating disorder feels. You’re going along in life, thinking that everything is fine, and then one day you look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself anymore.
By Rowan Flores7 years ago in Psyche
Grief
Sitting around a bed with close family quite literally watching a loved one take their last breath is indelible. Long fights with cancer are more common than ever and yet nothing can prepare you for that final breathe, no matter how long you've known it's in the cards.
By Daniel Noble7 years ago in Psyche