Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
What Addiction Means
I recently read a passage of a book titled Does Capitalism Drive Drug Addiction by Johann Hari in which outlined the addiction debate of both the left and right wing which is this: Right wing believes addiction is caused by a moral failure as it is a choice to consume a drug the first time and the left wing's stand is a similar chemical imbalance as exists in depression.
By Mars Saint7 years ago in Psyche
The Art of Being Gentle with Yourself
Throughout my journey with mental illness, what I have found to be a critical need in coming back into balance is something almost everyone on this planet has a problem with; gentleness. Gentleness with the thoughts and emotions that appear when a trigger button is pushed or just out of the blue, what do we mostly resort to in those moments? Fighting those thoughts and emotions, wanting to avoid them with distractions especially since they plague our minds so often and make us feel our absolute worst it's hard to remember what compassion is when in the depths of that pain.
By Rebecca Hawley7 years ago in Psyche
Trauma
I had been molested by my father and grandfather for as long as I could remember. My Father would kiss me in a way that made me extremely uncomfortable, he would do things like putting my foot in his mouth, he made me feel horribly uncomfortable all the time. My grandfather would walk around the house completely naked. His reasoning was that when he was little he had to have surgery and the whole time he was in the hospital he didn't have to wear clothes, and since then that's how he's most comfortable. He didn't care if I was there, or if my step-siblings were there, or if my cousins were there. And he knew I was uncomfortable and didn't like it. I would tell him that constantly and he would just say things like, "but you used to like looking at my penis" or he would tell me, again, about his reasoning for doing it. He never stopped when I asked him to. I also have vague memories of my grandfather making me extremely uncomfortable on car rides when he would come to pick me up, but I don't remember any more than that. I know there was a lot more that happened that I don't remember.
By Mariah Kelley7 years ago in Psyche
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Personality disorders are all about the sufferer being a social deviant who does not follow ordinary social rules of conduct. Personality disorders such as narcissism make the sufferer lie a lot. Antisocial personality involves a total disregard for the emotions of others. Antisocial people are also called sociopathic because they tend to break ordinary rules. Harmful behaviors are sociopathic or psychopathic. Source. Sociopathy involves having impairments to the sufferer’s conscience while psychopaths have a complete lack of conscience related to others. They do not imagine other people around them have rights at all. Antisocial personality is found more in men than in women.
By Iria Vasquez-Paez7 years ago in Psyche
A Letter to Depression 10/13/18
Dear Depression, Today, I woke up and looked you in the eyes. You stared back at me, and I recognized your battered face and scarred hands from all the times we have fought. You stroked my hair and I let you. I thought it felt good to be stroked. Nobody ever touches me. Touch is as hideous the thought of crawling under the covers with a stranger—my skin cannot accept your touch. Has anyone ever told you that your hands are beautiful from afar? That you taste of delight, and you warm my soul.
By Analyn Foust7 years ago in Psyche
I’m Still Embarrassed by My Mental Illness
I went to the local shop today to put on my gas & electric. As I was paying, I reached tentatively towards a display box of Malteaser Reindeer and subsequently knocked the whole display into the floor. Chocolate deer splayed out across the tiled floor like a delicious festive massacre. I could immediately feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
By Victoria K7 years ago in Psyche
Interviews with a Big Black Broad: Session #4
Interviewer: How did your collegiate aspirations relate to your experience with BDD? BBB: Before I begin, I should to warn you that this may be the most bizarre coming of age story you've ever heard. I chose a difficult major in college for two reasons: It was revered as prestigious and lucrative, and I was told that once I graduated from all those years of rigorous study, I would have little to no time for a social life while I practiced my trade. I wanted a career that would keep me so busy that I had no time to dwell on my awful appearance. I also wanted a preoccupation that would provide an understandable reason for why I had no time for romantic relationships—why I would never have children. My plan was to strictly focus on my studies, after which, I'd rely on my friends to satisfy whatever social needs I had. I loved to laugh and discuss politics, philosophy and art. So, I targeted those who majored in these subjects to help me indulge my interests when I wasn't studying my more conservative curriculum. Perhaps every now and then, I would enjoy a casual tryst or two if I was feeling up to it. I'd be a workaholic socialite from now on, I thought. Without time to focus on myself—to obsess over my ugliness, I could avoid what I referred to as "The cloud," which were my severely depressed episodes. My new distractions worked to steady my moods and lessen my obsessions. My grades were almost perfect. I'd even managed to acquire a small but well-coveted grant from the university strictly based on my academic merit. There are ugly people all over the world who are very prosperous, I thought. I studied the careers of very successful, powerful men who were also practicing the trade within the field I was studying. Most of them were single, with few or no children, and no one seemed to criticize their life choices. They weren't stigmatized for not living a conventional life. They were celebrated as playboys in fact. This was one of several observations that solidified my decision to become a playgirl. I could be satisfied with just a great career and friends. No husband. No children. I couldn't really conceive of living what all the other girls had coveted since holding their first doll baby: A "normal" life.
By Anarda Nashai7 years ago in Psyche
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
People with schizotypal are a bit odd with few friendships. People with schizotypal are mistrusting of others while being ultra paranoid. They lack close friends outside of their family who is able to put up with their constant suspiciousness of other people. They imagine events have a direct or personal meaning targeting them. Schizotypal people dress oddly or mismatch their clothing. They believe in special powers such as mental telepathy or other superstitions. Some have unusual perceptions or have illusions. Schizotypal is characterized by having social anxiety. They have vague patterns of speaking, which includes rambling during conversations.
By Iria Vasquez-Paez7 years ago in Psyche
How Did I Get Here
How did I get here? Yesterday I spent the day in bed, sleeping, coughing, sick. I still get up in the morning before my kids go to school and I make dinner each night. I don’t work outside the home, but feel worried about money and being in debt all the time. What is the problem? My husband left me when I was 48. I was a stay-at-home mom after owning my own business for two years. It was successful enough, but I became pregnant with baby #3 and considering my partner was more like a messy child, I decided to sell my business and stay at home to care for my children. Things were getting out of hand at home and out of hand at work. I realized for the first time in my life I could NOT do it all and my needs were not getting met in my marriage.
By Jacqueline Smith7 years ago in Psyche
The Beginning
Hello I am Danette, and I am a disabled wife and mother. My husband is a veteran and is also disabled. We have two wonderful kids, a daughter who is 20 years old and lives in Oregon. Then we have our son who is 12 years old and in the 6th grade. We are in the process of trying to get things ready to move to Kentucky. I am looking forward to a change, but the main reason we are moving is for better medical help, and to be closer to Shriner's Hospital for our son. I suffer Bipolar, depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. I have a past of self harm and trying to commit suicide. I am happy to say that I have not harmed myself since 2009. I am getting the help I need to keep doing ok. I have found getting tattoos help with the urge to self harm. I was told in the beginning of 2009 after my first stay in the hospital that I had Bipolar-schizo, but the mental health I was going to never confirmed it. I since have changed houses and am going to a different mental health, and one of their doctors actually confirmed that I have schizophrenia about 2 years ago. I have joined a support group on Facebook for it, and that has helped a lot. I struggle daily with getting out of bed, and to just function normally. I don't mean to write this for pity but to hopefully help someone else.
By Danette May7 years ago in Psyche
