Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
The Bottom
I would not call myself a particularly strong person. I'm easily discouraged and have a hard time motivating myself. Saying that, I know when things are tough that I have to persevere and push through, but it's been tough. I lost my job and have almost no way to contribute income, the job hunt has been rocky at best. Don't get me wrong, I have been trying; applying, calling, hoping, wishing. I have been worried and stressed, wondering if I'm going to be able to keep a roof over my head. I don't worry about food too much, I've just pretty much been living on bread and butter for a while now. It's been tough, I want to make sure everything gets better, I want to help put food in the house, I want to be able to take my dog to the vet without crying my eyes out about the chance I can't pay the bill. I've been trying to stay positive, to remind myself that it will get better, then another bill comes in. I am at the bottom of a well calling up hoping that someone will hear me, someone will throw me a rope and help me up. Because these walls are wet and every time I grip, the edges I fall off. I went to college and got my Bachelors degree, and I'm not sure how to step into the world of the job I want. I have applied to over 50 places in the past month and simply get the same response: We are going to pursue candidates who meet our requirements more. This is disheartening, especially when one of those places is a fast food restaurant.
By Trinity Atwood7 years ago in Psyche
ADHD in Adulthood: My Journey Through Misconceptions
My thoughts were all over the place when the doctor gave the final diagnosis, but for those with ADHD, that’s not a new experience. Some of these thoughts I’ll simply have to live with, such as 'how much easier would some things have been if I had known earlier?' or 'what else could I have accomplished?' But there are other thoughts I now have answers to, like how it was missed, if medication is the right option, and what my life might look like after this.
By Joshua Stanley7 years ago in Psyche
Why Putting Up a Front Sucks
The front is something we mentally ill people are good at putting up. We hide behind a veneer of positivity just because we are paranoid about somebody feeling sorry for us. The dreaded dead-end pity party is something we hate. While I know most people do not waste their energy feeling sorry for me, one old classmate a year older than myself loves to lace her voice with pity despite trying to sound positive. To which I say, what the hell? Why waste your pity on me? I’m not deserving of it. Certainly, she has issues relating to me without pity.
By Iria Vasquez-Paez7 years ago in Psyche
Tips for Understanding Anxiety
What's it like for those living with anxiety? So they say it is easy to move on, to forgive, and even to love. It seems that by now it should be easier and not so hard to do the simple things that make you feel who you are. It is like you want so hard to breathe but at the same moment, you just can't do that one simple thing you know how to do.
By Meghan Laprarie7 years ago in Psyche
The Feelings My Mental Illness Robbed Me Of
It's been nearly two years since I went on antidepressants. It had gotten to the point where I wasn't leaving the house much and I cried several times a day over things that hadn't happened yet. I was paralyzed by dread that one day my loved ones would die and I'd be left all alone. I'd already lost someone, and I didn't know how I could go through that again and again and again. It was tearing me up and living away from home made me feel like I was wasting the time I had left. But you can't live like that. You have to live your life and not let fear hold you back. You have to build a life for yourself even if it means leaving people behind. So I went to the doctors and I went on antidepressants. Eventually, they numbed the fear and I could get back to living life, though everything was a little numb from then on.
By Corinne McCafferty7 years ago in Psyche
Living with Anxiety and Depression
Dealing with anxiety is not an easy task. Anxiety can paralyze you and make some of the simplest activities impossible, but they aren't impossible. If you are dealing with an anxiety disorder then I am sure you have heard this before, but I will say it again: It is all in your head, a chemical balance inside the brain. Scientists have yet to master how to alter brain chemistry perfectly so that's why it is up to the afflicted to learn how to cope on their own. Now I'll be honest I definitely don't cope healthily all the time, I watch too much Netflix, I use people as crutches, and I even call out of work on days that are really, really bad. Anxiety can leave a toll on your life, it can put holes in your relationships and in your life in general. Having depression on top of all this? Feeling like a failure and not having the energy to do anything about it? Worrying about being a failure and not doing anything about it? Anxiety and depression can cause a vicious cycle of emotions inside your world. Not to get preachy here but finding healthy coping mechanisms is the only way that these things can become manageable.
By isabelle parsley7 years ago in Psyche
Depression
I have no friends, nobody likes me, I’m not good enough, I feel alone in this world, what would people think if I was gone, maybe this world will be better without me, I have no purpose here. Sadness, remorse, guilt, shame, anger, hate, empty, alone—these are all the feelings that come to our heads and swallow us whole into what we feel like is the abyss of our current lives struggling with depression.
By Emily Buehner7 years ago in Psyche
Vengeance at the Bottom of a Bottle
The dirt smeared mirror doesn’t give much of a reflection, but it is enough for me to see my ruined appearance. My mangled hair, split bottom lip, the dark purple goose egg that has started to sprout beneath my right eye. While this is not the worst I have looked after one of his beatings, that does little to satiate my overflowing anger. There was a time when I used to feel sorry for myself. I used to feel like the world had wronged me in so many ways. Bringing me this sweet and loving man. The first man I ever trusted since my father left me 19 years ago. This man who I thought was loving, godly, and kind. It only took him two years, two years for him to finally lash out at me. And that was it, that man I thought I knew was gone. And all that was left was an angry, drunk ass.
By Kelly Sapien7 years ago in Psyche
Journey
I have come to believe recovery is a journey of self-discovery. For my path of recovery, that includes God, and the VA medical centers and hospitals. Your path might be the same, but it likely isn’t. If it isn’t the same that's okay. After all, we are different people, with different experiences. Different people with different values. I have also come to believe that recovery is not a straight line. Recovery is more like a rollercoaster, with high points, low points, slow points and fast points. Today's story is about how to live life, on life's terms. It is much harder then it sounds, at least for me it is. Maybe you heard of this before it comes from the Action Commitment Therapy (ACT) model of recovery.
By Eugene Shattuck7 years ago in Psyche
