Isn’t It Time We Put an End to Online Bullying Already? The Dark Side of Online Success

When they invented the internet I bet they had no idea what its main use would be: a virtual punching bag!

People use the internet as a pin cushion for all their hatred and frustration with the world.

They use the comment section of articles, podcasts, and videos to kick and scream like a 3-year-old, and hurl obscenities at whoever triggered their fragile ego.

And who is the one who always manages to trigger at least one person, no matter what he says? The online creator!

Journalists, writers, videographers, podcasters, everyone gets a piece of the small-minded but rabid individual protected by the anonymity of the great online.

Creators deal with a lot of hate. Especially if they are women. Or black. But everybody gets it. Some just get it more.

Now you might think that’s no big deal and everybody gets into a bit of a quarrel now and then online. Everybody is called stupid sometimes, even in real life.

But what if you were called stupid every day?

What if a huge part of your job is being harassed, bullied, called names, laughed at, degraded, and made the target of people’s frustrated little selves?

The more controversial your work is, the more hate you get. And I can tell you for a fact, no matter how tough you are, hate of any kind will get to you. It will transfer through your armor and seep into your blood and mess with your mental health.

The more successful you are, the more you get it.

For 2 reasons:

1. Envy: people who would even consider insulting someone online are usually the envious kind, so they resent your success from the get-go.

2. Math: the more successful you are, the more people come into contact with your work, so there will be a bigger percentage of haters. It’s just numbers.

Let me give you a personal example.

Last month one of my articles went viral. It’s an article about The 5 Things That Creep Me Out About America as A European.

I published it the very next day after I published another article called The 7 Details That Make Me Love America as A European.

But not many people were interested in the good part because let’s face it, people like it dark and dirty.

I have several other America-related pieces. Some are about the good and some about the bad, but in most of them, I make a point out of telling people how much I love America, how it is the only place where I felt at home, and how it is the country of my soul. But that doesn’t mean I’m blind to its faults.

What people hear: that I hate America.

So I get a lot of hatred in all forms. Most of it is in comments, which I stopped reading.

Then there are those who write articles about how evil I am. Sometimes I read until the point where they call me names and then I report and block them.

Just FYI, reporting does nothing, so if you’re thinking of writing something vitriolic about me, this is your chance, the platform won’t do anything about it. All you’ll get is a block from me.

But then there are those who take it a step further and write me an email to continue with the hatred.

They let me know how that I don’t know history or psychology, or anything else, that I’m an idiot, I should crawl back under the European rock I crawled out of (this one was particularly creative), why don’t I just shut up and kill myself, etc.

These are not all about the American article, I get much more hate about my relationship articles. Another controversial topic that people need to blame me for.

A week ago, however, somebody took it even further and sent me a text message on my phone.

No idea how they found my phone number, but it was an American number without a name or photo attached to it. Because bullies are also cowards.

He schooled me about how I shouldn’t judge America based on Hollywood (I wasn’t), how us Europeans are behind the times and he can do so much in America than he couldn’t do in Europe (like what, shoot people?) and how I have an inferiority complex (right, because I was the one writing hate texts to strangers online).

Also, how I should stay out of America. Sorry, buddy, I plan to visit in August and will have a great time, just like before!

And while these messages usually get nothing more than an eye roll from me, this one got me thinking: what if this becomes dangerous at some point?

Maybe I should write under a pen name. Because you never know when one of these guys turns into a stalker, finds out where I live, and decides to use me as a pin cushion in real life.

But then again, the question is — why isn’t online bullying more of an issue?

Why do online creators have to face the wrath of the world they are entertaining?

What are platforms doing about protecting their creators?

Not much. Because platforms thrive on drama. Circus sells better than anything else. The more comments, the more engagement, the more people will join the circus. And people equal money.

Creators are encouraged to engage with their audience, but platforms have almost no policies in place when it comes to protecting them against harassment. They are constantly exposed to attacks, trolling, the possibility of doxing. and threats of physical violence.

The situation is usually ignored because it comes with the territory and it’s profitable.

But just because the ones in charge won’t do anything, doesn’t mean you can’t.

If you’re in the same situation as tons of online creators, this is what I use for protection:

I rarely read the comments anymore.

When I do, I just skim through, and if I see something insulting, I report it and block.

If I get hate mail, I block.

If I get hate text, I block.

I don’t even give it the time of day.

I don’t sit around wondering why people are the way they are and what I can do to make myself better understood. People are hell-bent on misunderstanding and using that to spew their hatred at you.

Maybe it keeps them from having all that hate inside them fester and kill them. Who knows? And who cares?

They do what they need to do and you do what you need to do.

The idea is to keep yourself as far away from their poison as possible.

And until the powers that be decide to protect the creators (which won’t happen any time soon), it’s the creators’ job to protect themselves.

It comes with the territory. It shouldn’t, but it does.

That’s why we have block buttons in place.

And that’s why we have pen names. To protect our real names.

I’m considering it. Are you?