Investing in Yourself

I think I'm starting to learn a little more about how this whole life thing works. Although I'm hesitant to say that I'm a life guru because, to be honest, I'm not. So it's important to understand this so when those hard times do happen you don't end up beating yourself up over the small things. I know I've done that. More times than I could count. When this happens it's usually because we've reached a point in our lives where we feel safe enough to become self-aware of our actions.

In the past, when we're kids, we're unfortunately the guinea pigs of our parents. Especially if we're the firstborn because this means we're their first if not only rodeo depending on if they decide to have more children. Meaning that oftentimes, they're gonna make mistakes and end up hurting us more than they'll ever be consciously aware of until we're older and able to admit the painful heaviness we've been feeling inside.

Still, this admission can do more harm than good, but it's important to release that heaviness. How this whole life thing works is simple: it's in phases. As children we laugh, we play, we grow, and we learn through school even though many kids hate it. As teenagers, we realize the depravity of the world and end up falling into the stereotypes that we see in cliques to try to fit in. Wanting to find that special place where we belong. And then, as adults, we slowly detach from others, trying to regain that sense of self that was lost in the transition between adolescence and adulthood.

And, even in this supposedly simple breakdown of life, it's not that simple. Life is still so much more complex than we realize it to be. Because even though I am 25 years old, I am only now realizing the impact my behaviors have on others. Feeling emotionally stunted and trying to learn how I express myself by cultivating the neglected parts of my personality I've shoved aside just to fit in and belong. And then, the sadness that happens at the realization that I've not done nearly enough as I would like to. Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

I know there are others like me out there. It's why I'm choosing to write on websites like Vocal+ or learn to post on DeviantArt and be more creative. Because that inner child inside me is yearning to break free and voice her opinion. As a child, I've always thought I've had to be that "bad-ass boss bitch" I see in T.V. shows now or listen to in songs to be considered "liked" or "sexy." I still want to be a boss-bitch don't get me wrong. But there are so many of us beautiful women out there with our own means of self-expression that it's crazy to try and shove myself in a box. After all, how else are pioneers able to set the trends for the upcoming age?

At first, people mock them because they don't understand their style-sense. But eventually, people get hooked and catch onto the trends through TikTok or Instagram. It's crazy to think how much our world is evolving through these social media sites. So, kids, don't get caught up in the "trying to belong" phase. If you are, don't feel bad about it later. Just take life one step at a time and realize that you're enough just as you are. And if you want to improve, or change, or grow in your own way then slowly begin to do so. Remember, you're your own person. Respect your parents. Respect your peers.

But never, ever, allow them to take away the unique expression that's you. I know this sounds super cringe. It's the truth. As you get older and experience more out of life you'll begin to realize that it's not worth wasting your time trying to change or fix others. The only person that you need to focus on, right now, is yourself. And with all this knowledge at your fingertips, don't get upset thinking that there's nothing left the world has to offer. Go out. Explore. Talk with other people. And learn more about life. Learn new hobbies. And cultivate the person you are because nobody should be able to take that away from you.

Just invest in yourself. Okay?