Imposter Syndrome: About the Constant Fear of Being Exposed as Incompetent

Have you ever felt like an impostor? As if you don't deserve the place or position you hold? As if your accomplishments are not due to you, but to luck or the fact that you were in the right place at the right time?

Do you often think that one day you will be exposed in front of others as incompetent? It's called imposter syndrome and you're not the only person facing such a situation. About 70% of people face this phenomenon at some point.

How do you sabotage yourself?

One problem comes from the fact that you fail to internalize and assume your success and you have doubts. You start to get paralyzed by the thought that people like you can't be successful because of how much you know about yourself.

You acknowledge the merits of others and allow them the right to succeed because it seems to you that you are far from them. At the root of the imposter's syndrome is a very distorted image of others: we feel like an imposter not because we have multiple defects, but because we can't imagine that others have the same defects.

This belief also comes from a basic characteristic of the human condition: you know and observe yourself from the inside, while you observe others only from the outside. Thus, you are always aware of the less good ideas you had until you found the right solution, of the doubts and fears you feel, while all you know about others is what they tell you or what they do, which is a much more limited and selective source of information.

This is how you often end up feeling isolated at the strange and outrageous pole of human nature.

The reality is different. If you were able to look behind the scenes at others, you would see that they are going through the same inner processes and that they are as grounded in thoughts and questions as you are.

Who develops the impostor syndrome?

A predisposition to developing the imposter syndrome is found in people who are always oriented towards perfectionism, who are afraid of making mistakes, of looking ridiculous. Perfectionists feel pressured to perform their tasks as best they can every time, and when they make a mistake, they find it easy to feel incompetent and anxious.

Perhaps the most unpleasant side of this phenomenon of the impostor is the fact that it limits you, breaks your wings, keeps you in place because it predisposes you to procrastination; it takes you from the courage to pursue new opportunities, from the joy of exploring, from the need to evolve.

Impostor Syndrome is not a psychological disorder, it does not require drug treatment and it does not prevent you from being successful; but it negatively affects your well-being by preventing you from really and completely enjoying your merits.

How Can You Overcome Imposter Syndrome?

First of all, you need to understand what the source is. In the case of some people, early memories may be the starting point for later fear: high school grades, which were never high enough for parents, or comparison with other, hardworking, more studious siblings.

Subjected to such treatment year after year, the child, now an adult, comes to internalize these ideas and to feel that nothing he does is enough. Or that to deserve to be loved, he must always do something, achieve something, achieve something. Maybe, at some point, it will be enough.

On the other hand, it may require a restructuring of the way you think: practicing and accepting the thought that others sometimes have anxious, wandering, insecure thoughts; that all people have moments when they are crushed by doubt and have feelings of inadequacy, moments when they feel overwhelmed by regrets and when they feel that they will give in to pressure or stress; that it is okay to live moments when you feel like an impostor, but not to live a whole life subjugated by the fear of never being enough or worthy of recognition.

And here, psychotherapy can play an important role, by identifying sources of distortion and rebuilding self-confidence.