I’ve Just Been Fired!

Imagine working in the same job for over 20 years and performing to the highest level. Then one day you are told by management you are no longer capable!

“I’m afraid we have no other option but instant dismissal!”

Well that was exactly what happened to me last week. But in all honesty, apart from having a strange feeling of emptiness that is difficult to describe, I’m very happy about the situation.

Before you ask however, I did nothing wrong. Well, nothing that I got caught out for anyway! My sacking was actually quite a jovial affair, with some smiles, laughs, and also plenty of tears (from me)

This is what they said …

“You really don’t understand how much difference you have made here Simon. While your job has a certain invisibility element due to its nature, there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever that you have been responsible for saving many lives. We are extremely proud of your achievements and you should be too. Thank you so very much for your service.”

So now you know why I cried!

Having dispatched thousands of emergency ambulances to the community for the best part of my adult life, it’s suddenly over and I can no longer play my part.

The reason for my dismissal was in fact due to a very long and exhausting battle with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which I now admit to have lost.

Despite having multiple psychotherapy sessions over the years, I realised the only way I would ever have any chance of recovery would be to leave the job I love. So I made a polite request to the management to dismiss me on the grounds of ill-health, and they very kindly obliged.

After working alongside the same people for such a long time, not being there is almost like being cut off from family. There have been tears and laughter, arguments and banter. I will certainly miss that part of my life and it will be hard to replace.

And then there’s the job too. If anyone reading this has experience of an emergency control room environment, it can be pretty exhilarating at times. You never know what’s going to happen and when something big goes off everyone always pulls together without question. Sometimes I felt like Tommy Lee Jones in that disaster movie Volcano!

But there was a big downside too. I have spoken to so many people who have become victim to life’s cruel game; a last breath on the phone, a gurgling of blood from a car crash, or even a scream from someone discovering the untimely demise of a loved one. The worst part of the job for me however, was hearing children suffer. It’s something you never get over, and the reason I’m here writing this now. It just got too much for me.

So for anyone that knows someone that works for the emergency services, please ask them if they’re doing ok from time to time. It’s a highly stressful job that can lead to psychiatric disorders and even has a higher risk of suicide. But they do it to save the lives of their fellow humans and we’d quite simply be lost without them.

Now it’s time for me to heal and begin a new chapter. My wish is to live out my childhood dreams and become a successful freelance writer. But if there’s one thing my previous job has taught me it’s never to take anything for granted, for it can all end in a heartbeat!

Live your life. Love your life. Love each other.

Thanks for reading.

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Originally published at https://medium.com/never-stop-writing/i-wish-id-failed-my-driving-test-5203189af9fb