I Just Came for the Coffee

I had time to waste in between my lectures. I wanted to get off campus and find a nook where I could relax. I thought it was a good idea. I needed a quick pick me up and a good cup of strong coffee with lots of sugar seemed to be calling my name. I'm sure you've probably been to such a well-known local establishment where you over-pay to enjoy an entitled swirl, too?

Stepping up to the counter to place my order, I couldn't decide what would be better...smelling the aroma of java or tasting the hot liquid as it teased my tongue.

Listening to people place their orders and watching those orders get processed was incredulous. No easy task for the fast-paced workers behind the counter. It took skill and ability to fit the bill of each customer's request. I think it fair to say that each employee had to have a high measure of intelligence and an uncanny recall of information, all the while using physical speed and momentum to complete their tasks. Thinking on your feet should be rewarded. Leave a tip!

As per usual in these establishments, most of the tables and chairs were occupied by patrons. Mostly younger people with laptops...probably students, but also scattered about were a few couples openly engaged in each other, obviously making eye play and giving out secretive smiles. You've seen those pairs...they kind of make you a bit jealous with the newness of their relationships. Keep it up and make it work, please. Help the rest of us believe in true love once again.

There were men in suits at a big table along with an attractive middle aged lady dressed in a royal blue pants suit. Her accessories a smart and subtle grey color to offset the boldness of the blues. She looked a bit nervous and uncomfortable, though. Don't let them intimidate you, dear.

And there were loners like myself. Some hid behind a book. Others had their noses in their phones. All had their own stories to tell. Was anybody going to listen?

As I heard my name being called, a cue to pick up my coffee, I realized I was feeling a bit anxious and overwhelmed. I remembered the last time I had tried this. This was not going to be therapeutic for me. I decided to sit in my car with my coffee.

Being around a crowded place...not for me. There is way too much stimuli. I can't hear the "nothing" that my mind craves. I only hear the needs and emotions around me.

I know it's kind of weird...I can stand in front of an audience and lecture and be fully and intentionally engaged...that won't bother me. The subject matter is my focus. It doesn't suck the life out of me...but being around so much going on at once, does.

The older I get, the worse it has become. When I was younger I found the energy to smile at others and engage in conversations readily. I was told I was a good listener. People tended to tell me their stories...even those I hardly knew. Now, I keep that at bay. Strangers make me uneasy. I won't be making any random "new" friends.

I don't like being this way. I know it's not completely normal. But I don't believe it's pathological, either. I've read articles that point to me being what they call an "empath." I'm not sure that I fit the total package of one, but I definitely meet some of the criterion.

When I practiced Nursing in the beginning of my career, others would laugh when I shared having a patient that was recovering from knee surgery, that my knees would hurt, too. But it happened that way. Each time. All I know is that I didn't want my patients to hurt...or at least have only the minimal pain to be expected.

I enjoyed my coffee in the car. And I felt safe there.

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I'm posting a couple of articles/links on being an empath. Do you think you might also be one? I'd enjoy your thoughts on this matter.

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1) https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-an-empath#empathy

2)

3) https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-an-empath#next-steps