Hurry Up & Wait!

To you this does concern (see what I did there?),

I left you hanging with the last letter. I felt like I was losing your attention. But there’s a reason why I didn’t give you everything in one shot. It’s more of a building block theory. I give you a single piece, allow you to observe, calculate and place. Then give you another. That way, you plan out how to build that house of information to your specifications/utilization. There’s lessons in that method. And there’s also some in what I haven’t said. I’m about to do some babbling, I’ll need your undivided attention for this;

Lessons. What do you learn from lessons? In the most memorable of them you can say you know what NOT to do. Hopefully as much as you can understand what TO do. Isn’t that a bitch? Why are the most remembered things negative or provoking? Why do most of your lessons (consequences) come from hardship? Sometimes it's hard to explain what is constructive. It can be easy to express what's impactful. Why can’t there be more prevalence when you make the right decisions?-

“Let me stop you (myself) there!” You should be saying. “Because I have accomplished a number of things outside of merely just surviving time. I got this far, even though it seems like a flash before my eyes, I still managed to get here.” Okay, then how did you? Those days that go by so smoothly, you feel carried through the minutes of the day. Floating, ever so softly. One you never want to end. The time has been just blissful and then BAM! Here comes tomorrow bitches! Didn’t last long huh?

'Hello! My name is everything that could possibly go wrong and I will be your burden for a while.'

And that while is a stretch. (I’ve said this before but I’ve also said I will not bullshit you. Patience is key.) Sometimes you had to fight battles, internally and externally. Your routine is mundane, your energy isn’t at it’s peak, your interests aren’t getting completely met, it’s everybody else’s fault, you tried hard enough. You fell behind on a single thing, days later you still haven’t completed that single thing but you don’t have the time because there’s another thing to do and you use your days to search for distractions outside of the demanded routine you have to deal with. I hope you prepared a large breath for that run on sentence. Wasn't expected, just like the future. Let me guess, you’re either in or between something? That’s a vague word, good cover.

You want to move forward but don’t know how to? What if I doesn’t go right? How comfortable am I at not trying? Because I can concoct any excuse to get out of the realization that I’m the reason I can and can’t deal with things? But you’ll never admit that to anyone else. Shit, you don’t even admit that to myself half the time. Most the time…all the time. Do you not want to talk about it because you don’t want to seem vulnerable? Maybe it's because you don't want it to be real. Good cover. But it is.

How well does that mask you have to put on every day to hide the persistent irritation of reality fit? Too tight?

You have goals, aspirations, places to go, people to meet, heights to sprint to, occasions to attend, sensations to feel, road blocks to get over, positions to fulfil, advice and role modeling to provide. You got love to give and get, laughs to induce and share in, appreciation to begin and be a participant in. You are the complete package that is limitless with their progression in godliness, right? Act like it then, damn. (That’s the lesson here really. Try faking it till you make it. You’ll be surprised how effective acting out a realization is. Here’s an example; Dress, speak and educate yourself in something you want to embody. Living the life, even if you are not yet/actually living that life, can bring you to it.)

If you could tell your younger self something, would it be to be to have more patience? Awareness? Careful tendencies? Carelessness? Experiment more? Critically of course. Open minded or open ended? Closed from certain exposure? What if I told you you could teach that lesson to your now self. Right now. So the future you could look back and say “(Wo)Man- (diversity, that’s why.), I’m really happy I listened to myself when I told myself to listen to myself.” Yeah, that got a bit confusing but repeat it. Stand in front of the mirror and switch between yourself and the reflecting as you read the word "myself". It’s a little self-encouragement, listen to yourself. This lesson will take form one day and you’ll have the hardest time trying to explain to people how you utilize this type of guidance; There are times where you’ll give yourself messages without any dialog. This is a sign, learn the signs.

What’s scarier than what you know? What you don’t know! That’s right! Why is it scary? Because you don’t have the pieces to the puzzle together, its clarity is very low resolution. I mean low low (Don’t mind the repeated words, it makes for dramatic effect.), to the point where you give up on the visualization. Reach for a new piece. Try something else. Just try.

So, (I broke this paragraph in two to help you not feel overwhelmed by a massive passage.) when you understand something, it bridges the space. Right? Right. That’s how pathways are created. You got it, a way to get from A to B. Sometimes instant, sometimes it’s hard work. Take in account both ends of the spectrum. One being positive and the other being negative. Remember this, when you understand, no matter which you apply to the conclusion of a situation, you had to understand it to your specified usability of comprehension before you could connect it.

If I said ‘learn to understand’ would that be bleak? I don’t think so. I’m simply telling you to understand how to understand something or why you don’t understand at all. You can lie to yourself and conserve yourself from even attempting to try. Easily too, like I said in the last letter. That’s not what you’re going to want to do. You also have the ability to understand where you stand with anything. You don’t always have to know something. It’s okay to not know and be imperfect. If you understand that, you become a step closer to your perfected person.

I’ve been pushing more direct and ‘demanding’ accusations on you. I know I know. And I’m only a little bit sorry but! It’s for good reason. It’s better if you detached yourself from going about these writings with any sense of fragility. When you take something seriously, it becomes real. As long as you ‘play’ it off like it’s some sort of ‘game’ you don’t bring it to reality. It becomes something I would refer to as a toy. Like Pinocchio, he had to learn something, TRUTHFULLNESS, before becoming REAL. HMMMM, STARTING TO SOUND REAL INTRIGUING NOW? He LEARNED how to be TRUE to himself and then the doors to his dream swung open.

How does that pill feel becoming lodged in your throat as you try to swallow that medicine? Need some realiTEA to moisten your upper digestive track? (That word makes you cringe, I did it on purpose.) Call it harsh, I call it as I see it.

Before I go; Trauma isn’t always physical, how the world affects you is real. Be your own healer. The lesson of this letter.

Sincerely, all you, just you. Figure yourself out and then you will figure everyone else out.

PS: Repeat as needed.

PPS: I hope you make it out.

PPPS: Is three post scripts too many? I kind of like the excessiveness. But, make sure you’re hydrated and taking some time out of your day to take your melting pot of a mind off of the burner. It’s only a disconnection, like turning off the stove, cool down.

PPPPS: When you do find a positive strategized outcome that’s easy to remember, most definitely utilize it. Goodness will bring you greatness. Expect this for yourself, don’t always expect it from others. Actions speak.

*Side note: If you enjoyed this odd yet interesting string of thought, please feel free to donate and keep up with me as this blog will contain a ton of creative series ranging from different topics, experiences, projects and challenge directed submissions! Thank you!

I will, after meeting default income quota, be automatically sending a share of my proceeds to charity. The more you donate the more that is directed towards a great cause!

Sincerely, Jahvon.