How to suffer in life?

When dealing with people, we are most afraid of being cheated. Both black and social skills teach us how to avoid being cheated. In fact, can someone really avoid being cheated? There is an old saying that "suffering a loss is a blessing". So is it worth it? Take a clear loss or a dark one? Below are some of my less mature opinions.

Adults who leave school and enter the society live in a very real world. They all come together for various purposes or "conspiracies", and finally form their various interpersonal relationships. In a human society, the more friends there are, the easier it is to walk. Making friends is somewhat purposeful, and it takes effort to maintain long-lasting friendships.

1. A person must have a motive to do something. Whether you admit it or not, without a purpose, we usually don’t do a thing or get to know someone and keep in touch with them. The purpose of a person's relationship with you is big or small, some are relatively simple (just want to pass the time), some are more complex (maybe want to get something from you), so only know in advance what others want from you. What you get here, you can judge if you can get in touch with it.

Even if a person approaches you solely for financial gain, you don't necessarily need to exclude him, as long as he does so in a reasonable manner. It is as if the school teachers teach the students knowledge to earn wages, but they can still gain the respect and love of the students. Therefore, it is very important for us to take corresponding measures to analyze in advance what kind of method the other party adopts, whether it is a win-win cooperation or a selfish one.

2. We often encounter some troublesome things, being misunderstood, crowded, looked down upon by others, and even taking the blame for others; in interpersonal communication, we always encounter some people who fight for trivial matters. People, people who betray their friends for personal gain, people who only care about their own self-interest and make calculations. No matter it is people or things, in the process of dealing with them, the one who suffers will always be yourself.

When dealing with people, I have summed up a sentence, you can't take no losses, you must learn to take losses, friends let you suffer from obvious losses, and villains let you suffer from secret losses.

There are two types of people who can comfort themselves when they suffer. One is a strong Ah Q spirit, a natural optimist, who doesn't like to complain, and is always willing to look at the good side of things. I really can't do this, I believe in "returning grievances with directness, and repaying virtue with virtue". The other kind of people have a long-term vision and are smart and wise. They understand the principle that "suffering is a blessing". Those who will suffer, will suffer in the light, and create more opportunities for themselves. Let’s realize together that those who are unlucky and suffer from losses and benefits in life are always comparing themselves with themselves, and their vision only falls in the small area under their feet.

There is a kind of bitterness that the dumb eats Huanglian can't tell, and the people who make you suffer from dark losses will benefit from you because of your losses, and they will not thank you, and they will ridicule you for being stupid. For example, when buying clothes, if there is no counter-offer, I would rather buy expensive clothes that cannot be counter-offered, rather than relatively cheap clothes that can be counter-offered. Another example is, if someone uses your things, if he tells you that you will not What would he think and he would be willing to help him a little bit. He didn't tell you, and he said that you don't have to use it for me anyway. This kind of unreasonable remarks make people feel suffocated. The money is not repaid, and the amount is not much, which makes it difficult for you to speak. For example, if you invite someone to dinner today, eating a clear loss means that others know that you paid for it, and eating a secret loss means that you clearly paid, but others think it’s someone else’s payment, but you know it yourself but you can’t say it. In the name of being good for you, you are actually doing good for yourself.

Venerable Shengyan said that willing to suffer a clear loss is a benevolent person; suffering a humiliation and a secret loss is stupid. Because secret losses are uncontrollable and unmanageable, you don't know when you will get hurt, and they make you feel insecure. If you meet people who make you suffer, stay away from them, and give them some color if they don't realize it.

If you don’t want to suffer a clear loss, you will end up with a secret loss; if you don’t want to suffer a small loss, you will suffer a big loss.” Some people are strong and others are weak. The real difference lies not only in strength, but also in thinking. What is the thinking of the weak? It is to constantly feel those injuries , and then make all kinds of emotional and crazy expressions, while the strong are always based on the status quo, focusing on interests, changing themselves little by little, analyzing problems, and then finding solutions, neither feeling hurt nor Make any frantic, gaffe, overly emotional expressions.

Being willing to take a loss is a kind of wisdom, and it is also a kind of tolerance for others. If you are willing to take the other party's losses, you will definitely not care about the other party. Such a generous person can easily make close friends, win a wide range of network resources, and will also be affirmed, praised and respected by others. It is really tiring to interact with people. As long as you keep your bottom line and don’t be an unprincipled good person, harm will naturally stay away from you.