How to find a good therapist

If you’re like me, your brain runs a mile a minute sometimes. It’s almost as if it has a mind of its own. Intrusive thoughts invade your mental wellbeing, fears of nonexistent threats constantly flood your brain, and you’re left paralyzed on how to manage it.

That’s where therapy comes in.

With therapy, you’ll be able to take control of your intrusive thoughts, your anxieties, and whatever else your brain is doing that’s holding you back from living a joyful life. And friend, I’m so proud of you for turning to therapy for help.

But then there’s another problem: finding good therapy.

It’s a frustrating catch-22 — you know you’re at limited mental capacity, but you now have to use 120% of your mental capacity to get your brain to work better.

If you’re currently experiencing an urgent mental health crisis, please call 911 or the Suicide Hotline at 1–800–273-TALK(8255). Now is not the time to fuss with health insurance or payment plans.

Here are some ways you can approach finding good therapy, with some explainers on how much you can expect to spend on each:

Health Insurance

This may be the cheapest route, but only if you have good health insurance. Check if your health insurance provider offers psychotherapy. Many will have in-network psychologists available in a list. But beware of these lists, since many of them are left outdated, or are unable to take new clients.

Questions to ask therapy offices

If given a list of potential therapists, I suggest calling each therapists’ office and asking the following questions, in sequential order. If they say no to any of these questions, stop and move on to the next office on your list:

1. Are you taking any new clients? If they say no, hang up the phone, cross that office off the list, and call the next one.
2. Do you still take my insurance? (Have your insurance card ready). Same as above - if they don't actually take your insurance, hang up and try the next office on your list. There will be more of these on your "insurance provided list" than you'll expect.
3. How much is the copay with my insurance? If you’re seeking low budget care, ask if a sliding scale payment plan is available.
4. Do you have any female/male/nonbinary/POC therapists? This is a good question to ask if you have preferences on the cultural background, which can be helpful if you come from an underrepresented background and would like a therapist who can empathize with your unique life experiences.
5. What modalities do you typically use? If you have a preferred modality, you can ask whether this includes that modality here. Make sure to write down all modalities available.
6. Would you be able to see me weekly? If you’re not seen weekly, I’d recommend finding another. Conventional wisdom on good mental healthcare shows that consistent weekly sessions make for the best outcomes.
7. Do you have free initial consultations with your therapists? Many times, if you’re talking to the front desk, you won’t be talking to the therapist who would be seeing you. In that case, it’s a good idea to ask for a free 15–20 minute conversation to see if you jive with your therapist.
8. When is your next availability?

If you’ve successfully gotten this far on a call with a potential therapy office, consider yourself lucky! I recommend scheduling time right then and there. Don’t worry, if the therapist isn’t what you were looking for, you can always try someone else.

Online therapy

If you’re like me, and your health insurance doesn’t cover much mental healthcare, or doesn’t have any therapists who are taking new clients, online therapy may be your next best option. Be aware that some health insurance providers will subsidize all or part of online therapy sessions, so make sure to ask to be sure you’re not leaving money on the table.

Online therapy allows you to talk to your therapist anywhere you have internet connection. Often, services like Betterhelp, Talkspace, and Cerebral allow you to schedule regular video calls and text your therapist directly at any time. And if a therapist doesn’t work out, you can switch to another whenever you want without the hassle of having to find another therapist again. This is important — personally, I sifted through 5–6 different therapists before finding the best one for me.

Is Online Therapy right for you?

Online therapy isn’t for everyone. Some folks would rather not deal with technology in the middle of dealing with mental illness, and others may prefer experiencing therapy in person, gaining the benefits of a therapist’s office curated for mental wellbeing, and experiencing the therapist’s subtle body movements and behaviors.

But if you’re like me and prefer the comfort of your home and sitting in pajamas while undergoing therapy, I can’t recommend this enough. Sure, there are technological issues sometimes, and often I have to fight with my wireless headphones to make sure they connect to my computer properly. But otherwise, considering my introverted personality and aversion to commuting to doctors’ offices, I find online therapy preferable to in-person therapy.

Mobile Apps

If in-person therapy and online therapy are too pricey for you (understandable — therapy is super expensive!) consider looking into mobile apps that utilize common therapy modalities to provide helpful mental health help.

One app that I cannot recommend enough is Bloom. This self-guided therapy app allows you to undergo a ten minute CBT-based therapy session covering topics such as anxiety, procrastination, loneliness, and many others. You don’t have a personal therapist who knows who you are, but you do have someone who explains important CBT-based concepts related to that topic, and — crucially — lets you type in answers that relate to the specific ways you can apply the CBT concepts to your own life.

Even if you do use traditional or online therapy, I personally have found that supplementing my mental health journey with mobile apps has helped me in a pinch when I urgently need a mental health boost, but not meeting with my therapist soon. I use it almost every morning I need motivation to get out of bed early, and it helps me start the day with a positive mindset.

Other considerations

Moving states. If you’re like me and often move to different states for various life reasons, be ready to find a new therapist when you do. Much like lawyers and other license-based professionals, psychologists are licensed by state. If they do not practice in the state you are moving to (which is likely), you’ll be forced to find a new therapist. And goodness knows it was difficult enough to find your first one!

Getting a new job. If you’re using your health insurance to pay for your online therapy, your new employer’s health insurance may not cover the same amount as your former insurance. This may leave you to pay full price for online therapy, which can get pricey.

Conclusion

Therapy is hard to access. Good therapy is hard to find. Personally, I struggled to find good therapy for years before I found my current therapist. But once I did, in a matter of 6 months I’ve found a gigantic difference.

But I learned all of the above the hard way — if you follow the steps above, you’ll be on your way to great mental health in no time. I promise you, no matter the difficulty, it’s worth the journey.

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