Happy birthday to my boyfriend's grandma, the girl broke up on the second day: 17 people, only your mother and your aunt

The ability to imitate is the innate ability of higher animals. When we were young, we would worship our parents from the bottom of our hearts, thinking that what parents did was right, imitating them subconsciously, learning from them, and longing for their approval. . Since we don't have the ability to distinguish right from wrong, the thoughts instilled in us by our parents can't distinguish between good and bad, and we all accept them as they are.

When you grow up and have the ability to distinguish right from wrong, it is still difficult for you to question your parents' teachings, because in your subconscious, your parents are for your own good and will not harm you, while those who accuse your parents People who teach you the wrong things will be questioned by you for their intentions.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said in "Why Home Hurts People": Love is constantly passed on in such a cycle, from our original family to our new family; the way we get along with our lovers, They are all repeating the way we get along with our parents.

Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, when choosing a mate, you must look at the other's family of origin. The family of origin has created a person's three views. By observing his parents, you can judge his true character and thoughts that he has not revealed or that he wants to hide wholeheartedly, so as to judge whether your three views are compatible or not speculative. Make a decision about whether or not to be together.

When people with different views are together, not only will they not be able to solve the problem during communication, but there will be situations where the scholar meets the soldier, and the rationale does not make sense. The three views are different, you are not a Taoist person, and you are not suitable as a husband and wife.

"I figured it out. I want to break up with Liu Zhihui. The two of us have different views. What his family needs is a free nanny to serve the whole family. I can't do it, and I'm not suitable to be his daughter-in-law."

I went to celebrate my boyfriend's grandmother's birthday. On the second day, Qin Yao made up her mind and broke up with Liu Zhihui. She seemed reckless, but she was actually well thought out.

01. From the time I entered the door to the time I left, his mother's and aunt's feet hardly stopped, and they were always busy;

Last Saturday was Grandma Liu Zhihui's 89th birthday. Because the old man is very old, he values ​​his birthday very much and cares about the sense of ceremony. Therefore, Liu Zhihui's parents, uncles and aunts will buy birthday cakes for the old man every year. And this time coincides with the weekend, Liu Zhihui naturally needs to go home to congratulate his grandma on her birthday.

"He told me that his grandmother knew that he had a girlfriend and wanted to see his future granddaughter-in-law. It happened that I was on weekends this week. When I had time, after getting the permission of my parents, I agreed to him and gave the old man a gift at his advice. I bought two boxes of the old man's favorite health care products and went back to his hometown with him."

At the end, Qin Yao was warmly received by Liu Zhihui's family. The old man insisted on stuffing Qin Yao with a red envelope as a gift. Qin Yao was very happy, but she quickly noticed a detail.

"My mother told me that when choosing a mate, you must choose a good in-law's family, and don't choose a family with a bad family style and don't take your daughter-in-law seriously, otherwise you will suffer. In the man's family, the man's mother is my future. What kind of person is my mother-in-law, whether she is reasonable or not, whether she likes me or not, and her status in the family is very important, her today is very likely to become my tomorrow."

However, Qin Yao was unable to say a few words to Liu Zhihui's mother from beginning to end, just because she was too busy, not only her but also Liu Zhihui's aunt, that is to say, the two daughters-in-law of Liu's family entered the door from Qin Yao By the time I left, I was so busy that my feet barely touched the ground.

"Without me, there are 17 people in his family. Among these people, it seems that only his mother and his aunt have grown hands. They bring tea and water to relatives who come to pray for their birthday, cut fruits, and prepare them for everyone. For lunch, he was busy killing chickens, fish and meat. His father was entertaining relatives, his uncle had been sitting on the sofa playing games, and he and his cousin were also playing games together."

02. After making a table of rice, even if I can’t serve it myself, I can only take a few bites at random, which makes me feel chilled;

The dining table was also cleaned up by Liu Zhihui's mother. After the tableware was neatly arranged, the wine was set, and the first dish was served, everyone sat at the table. Soon, Qin Yao felt that something was wrong.

"There are only 11 seats, 7 seats are missing, plus I have 18 people, and there are 4 children who may not be at the table. What about the other three?"

What embarrassed Qin Yao was that everyone else had already served the table and the seats were full. Those three people should be Qin Yao, Liu Zhihui's mother and aunt.

Seeing this, my aunt told Qin Yao about the rules of the old Liu family. It turns out that in this family, daughter-in-law can't serve the table, just because they need to serve food, pour wine for everyone, and persuade them to eat, they don't have time at all. sit.

Auntie took a chair and seated Qin Yao, and then got busy again, while the others started to eat when the first dish was on the table, sending blessings and gossiping, and relatives continued Asking Qin Yao, as if she wanted to check her household registration, made Qin Yao feel very uncomfortable.

"What makes me even more chill is, haven't I been paying attention to his mother and his aunt? His mother and his aunt did not sit down to eat. After the last dish came, the two of them took a bowl and took a few bites. The leftovers, when the others have finished eating, and Mark is going to play cards, his mother and aunt put down the bowls and start to clean up the table and wash the pots and dishes."

Qin Yao couldn't sit anymore, so she made an excuse and proposed to leave. Many relatives also persuaded Qin Yao to rest here for a night, but Qin Yao firmly refused.

03. If you really protect me, you won't see your mother working so hard and still indifferent;

Back at home, Qin Yao told her parents what she had seen and heard. After her mother listened to it, she only asked her daughter: "Would you like to be a woman like his mother and aunt and be their free babysitter?"

Qin Yao shook her head. When she thought of the scene she saw, she felt very uncomfortable. What she wanted was a husband, a man who would take care of her and share hardships with her, not an uncle who treated her as a free nanny.

After Qin Yao proposed to break up, Liu Zhihui felt inexplicable and asked why. In order to prevent him from pestering her, Qin Yao expressed her thoughts. However, Liu Zhihui said she thought too much.

"Since my grandma's generation, it's women's work to cook and do housework in my family! My grandma, my mother and my aunt have no opinion, why can't you stand it before you get married? You just don't want to do it. Do you work? Okay, I'll do it in the future, no one will call you, okay! Whoever dares to call you, I'll be in a hurry with him, okay!"

"Will I believe you when you say this? Your mother was so busy that her feet didn't touch the ground, so she only ate a few mouthfuls. Except for playing games, you felt sorry for your mother? You don't even feel sorry for the mother who gave birth to you and raised you. Why do you feel bad for me? Do you think I'm stupid?"

No matter what Liu Zhihui said, Qin Yao insisted on breaking up and was unwilling to be their family's free nanny.

04. A man who doesn't even care about his own mother is very unlikely to expect him to care for you and protect you.

Writer Zhang Xiaoxian once said: "Don't only love a good man, don't only love a good man, don't only love a talented man, and don't only love a man who loves you and loves you, please love a responsible man. man."

A man who doesn't even care about his own mother is very unlikely to expect him to care for you and protect you. That's for his mother, who once risked her life. Seeing his mother being used as a free nanny, he doesn't feel bad. It's very unlikely that he will feel bad for you.

The reason why he doesn't protect his mother is because he has been subtly influenced by his original family for decades, and he has long believed that this is what a woman should do. He can watch his mother suffer and remain indifferent, and he can ask you in the same way. .

Rather than relying on him to protect you and hope that you will suffer grievances in failure, it is better to be cautious when choosing a mate and do not rush to choose someone.