Gift Giving Must Be Mindful

Gifts are given to others for a myriad of reasons: to celebrate joy or a specific milestone. Gifts travel way beyond marked occasions like Christmas, Birthdays, and other commercially oriented days such as Valentines Day to name. Gifts are given when people are awarded promotions; they recover from surgery; and at weddings, baby showers and graduations to name.

It is natural to ignite the curiosities within and wonder what gift giving to others, as well as receiving gifts from others has to do with an individuals mental health? Absolutely f*cking everything. Read on.

It is understandable to be stressed and anxious when gift giving around peak holiday periods due to stock availability, crowds, choice and clutter in retail outlets. And with online purchases, knowing if the gift will arrive in time, where you at the mercy of customs, couriers and postal services, depending on the online retailers warehouse locations.

Gifts are designed to share joy, and to enhance the human connection. When the right gift is mindfully chosen, rather than out of haste and obligation; the mental health of the giver and the recipient is enriched for the better. Bonds are deepened, and the memories around providing that gift can be etched in for years. This is what life is all about - building memories. Chemicals such as oxytocin and dopamine are also enhanced without the junk food consumption. You have worked hard to keep your relationships strong and grounded. On the other hand, choosing the wrong gift (when it clearly misses the mark) causes lingering disappointments and resentments. Sure, people's tastes can change - however being present to your relationships and their needs, and through the art of asking people what they need to help you along; you can avoid recipients saying that "I am going to regift this" or "Why more socks?" for example.

Us human beings are social creatures, and hence the art and science of gift selection and giving is part of the human psyche and connection. Beyond such bondings and connections, gifts signal the strength of a relationship. As evidence, compare the gifts of the same value given to a loved one as opposed to an allocated Kris Kringle (KK) in the workplace at Christmas time. People (all of us) have an innate need to be seen and heard; and therefore being the recipient of the right heartfelt gift builds and/or strengthens trust, which is easy to break yet ever so challenging to earn. Randomly buying a bottle of wine or champagne (pretty common in corporate circles, yet it all depends) for someone who does not drink would be pretty insulting. Such an intentional or un-intentional purchase can cause distress to the recipient, where they could take such bottle of alcohol to a function where it may not be fully appreciated, or regift it to someone else, just for the sake of not wasting, and hence to get rid of it as quickly as possible, because not many of us like clutter in the home right?

The material value (what it is worth, and what the giver paid for such a tangible gift at the shops) is not trivial either, where size does not always matter either. Just because a gift is massive, does not spell quality, nor does it mean that it is actually better. It is more about meeting the tastes and needs of the receiver. Just because someone owns a cat, does not mean that you have to buy them a cat related trinket. Sure, they like cats, yet many cat owners would also be cultured people, with other tastes and interests through lived experiences. It is no different to stepping foot inside a new age store wanting to buy a crystal for healing purposes. Many sales assistants in such stores are trained to sell you on the fact that the bigger the crystal, the more energetic healing properties it possesses, which is complete bull-dust. Smaller crystals of the same type of crystal also share similar benefits to its rightful owner. Costly gifts can be tokenism, rather than a true reflection of care.

It is all about how the gift makes the recipient feel, rather than the item itself. Playful gifts carry a bit more risk, and if it misses the mark, it could cause awkwardness and/or embarrassment for both the giver and recipient, as everyone has a different sense of humour and belief systems.

Gifts can also reflect shared histories, express mutual understandings, and mark certain milestones. For example, in the final episode of season 3 of The Summer I Turned Pretty; Conrad nailed this brief by bringing Belly a piece of Cousins (the town they all enjoyed every single summer during their childhoods) to her prior to her 22nd Birthday in Paris, in the form of something small yet sentimental in connection to the beach. Then again, the limbic brain links memories and emotions.

Be guided by the emotions you want to evoke through mindful giving. In most cases, it is more decent to buy someone a gift voucher at one of their favourite retailers if you are still kind of stuck. Many bosses do this at bonus time; offer a prepaid card where the relevant employee can spend something or a series of things they choose. Still to this day, yours truly enjoys grand memories of buying an Armani watch with one bonus payment, as a memory of the good times and working hard in sales management pre-burnout. Same with travel vouchers - it is empowering to pick your airline of choice, as well as the hotel/s you wish to stay in, rather than having the boss book such on your behalf.

Regardless of your circumstances (not to impress with this example, but rather to impress upon) for Fathers Day this year, I was one week post emergency ankle fracture surgery; therefore I could not bear weight on that relevant foot with the injured ankle for a little while. All I could do was give Dad (as well as my Brother in Law, for his belated Birthday) a $50 note. I knew that he (my father) is an avid Bitcoin investor, but ever so practical; therefore money worked in this situation. To add some emotion and memory to this gift for Fathers Day 2025; I decided to draw him a card on an envelope to put the money in, and I repeated the same for my Brother in Law, who I would also be seeing for lunch that very same day. They said that they love handmade notes, and my fathers exact words were in a text message later on that day, in addition to what was shared at the restaurant at the time: "Have checked my presents Justy...thank you...much appreciated. I will retain the special envelope, which will remind me of its contents. Thanks for making the effort to celebrate my Dads day. Love from Dad."

Giving thoughtfully is good karma. Even if you wish to help a local homeless shelter (for example); find out what they need the most before donating. They might need fresh sheets rather than money. The joy comes in retail therapy for such needs. It is clear as day (you do not need to gloss over a medical journal to know) that givers are happy people, who enjoy amplified wellbeing, from improved mental health to lower blood pressure.

Balance is key. Removing the price tag before wrapping up tangible gifts is a given, yet it feels like the pit of your stomach is churning when you open a well thought out gift, and the price tag or sticker is still visible, even though you are extremely grateful for the gift, as well as for the thought and care attributed to such.

Giving experiences as presents is equally as thoughtful and considerate, rather than buying something tangible for another person. Care needs to be focused around the recipients availability. Make sure it is a movie they really want to see, or a concert they want to go to, before your needs in that regard. It would be awesome if you are both in sync on tastes and interests with impeccable timing in that regard, as the memory making and bond sharing would be supercharged for the better.

Think about how the recipient fills their space, and spends their time when deciding on the right gift, if you choose to not ask the source directly. What life changes or setbacks has this person gone through recently? How do they like to unwind? Being mindful of your wrapping skills, to the type of paper you use to wrap up your gifts to others with is profound, and really, really matters. Happy (mindful) gift giving and receiving. If you have challenges receiving gifts from others - then those pesky words along the lines of "no you shouldn't have" should be wiped out of yours (and everyones) vocabulary instantly.

Working on your receptive energy for better mental health is just as paramount as giving mindfully to others.

In the spirit of giving the right gifts to conclude this article, and knowing that gifts also come in the form of love and understanding; in this song, the singer expresses gratitude for all of the gifts received, of which were given in a thoughtful manner by said recipients. Not every gift is of a material nature. Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant: