Freshman Year Depression Is Real

The first year at a college or university is difficult for everyone. Students walk onto a busy campus leaving their friends and families at home, while bringing their worst insecurities and fears with them. For the first time, kids are responsible for their own meals, doctor appointments, class and homework schedules, and most difficult of all, their mental health.

If you were lucky, your parents/guardians gave you the essential skills to survive this first time on your own: how to do laundry, easy cooking recipes, and how to unclog the toilet. What none of us were taught, however, was how to handle ourselves if mental illness starts to drag us down.

I had been on anti-depressants since I was fifteen and had believed that I had a good grip on my mental issues. Unfortunately, I was wrong. About two months into my first semester, I began to feel extreme anxiety every time I got dressed to go to class. I was worried that I had forgotten to do an assignment, or that I was under-prepared for an exam, or that my project wasn't going to be good enough to get an A. This anxiety was so strong that I simply stopped going to my classes. In my mind, completely missing a class was easier than what could possibly go wrong if I did show up.

All the time I spent in my room while ditching my classes made matters even worse. I only got out of bed to eat or go to the bathroom, and spent my days sleeping and scrolling through Twitter. I was in a deep depression. I was aware that I was failing my classes and I believed that I was a failure myself.

Nobody knew what was happening, not even my boyfriend. I lied to everyone and told them that classes were going great. I pretended to be enjoying my college experience, because it seemed as though everyone else was having the time of their lives.

My professors reached out in the middle of November and they all were surprisingly understanding and helpful. They did everything they could to help me rectify my grades, and I wrapped up the semester with a decent GPA. I know that I was lucky to have professors that cared, and I know that unfortunately that is not the case for everyone.

Although I was relieved that I had made it out of the semester alive and with a transcript that would satisfy my parents, I was still confused as to why I was the only one who was having a hard time handling college life.

I discovered that I wasn't the only one. There are tons of college students who go through the same struggles that I did. I met some of these students in group therapy and mental health associations. What we discovered was that we would have reached out for help sooner if we knew it was an option, and if we knew we weren't alone. Mental health struggles are a lot easier to handle if there are people going through them with you. You can share what works for you and learn from the experiences of others.

If you are a college student having trouble with your mental health, I am very sorry. But it is important to know that you are not alone and that there are people who can and want to help you. Most campuses have counseling services, which offer individual and group sessions. You can also seek outpatient services at a separate facility, which will give you an intensive group therapy experience.

College should be a life-changing and fun-filled experience. Mental health should not hold you back from these new and educational moments. Please seek help if you need it, I promise it will help. And if you are in a true moment of crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.