Five Things I Learned During One Year of Therapy

In January of 2020, I made the decision to go into therapy for the third time. I had been in therapy two times prior in my life: at 8 years old after my parents divorced, and at 21 when my father died. After losing my dad, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication. The medicine did help, but it was getting to the point where it wasn’t enough. I took a chance on the counseling center that I found through my new insurance company; not thinking that I would find someone right away that I liked, but I got very lucky. The therapist that I was assigned was incredibly helpful from day one. And I have learned quite a bit throughout these 52+ sessions.

01. Be. Honest.

When I was first assigned my therapist, I wasn’t exactly comfortable. I had had a male therapist in the past (The same therapist both prior times), and I was never fully comfortable with him, for various reasons. In the waiting room waiting for my first session with my current therapist, I said to myself: be honest with him. Whatever he asks you about your past, answer it honestly and see how it goes. And that’s what I did. And it paid off. There were things that I have talked about with him that I didn’t mention to my previous therapist. I felt very comfortable talking to him from that first session. I know that this doesn’t happen to everyone. I consider myself lucky that I ended up with a therapist that I immediately felt comfortable with. Being honest and open from that first session absolutely paid off.

02. It’s Okay to Feel Your Emotions

Therapy during COVID-19 proved to be a rollercoaster of emotions every week. Dealing with the isolation from friends, as well as a relationship dissolving made quarantine extremely challenging. There were times that I would stuff my emotions down and deal with it in an unhealthy way: eating. It would be during sessions that the emotions would come up to the surface. My therapist said to me during one of those sessions that it’s okay to feel the emotions. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to grieve. And it is okay to experience these emotions. And it’s much better to let those feelings out than to not acknowledge them at all.

03. “Not Every Thought Is Worth Thinking”

I can’t even tell you how many times my mind latches onto thoughts that are not true and make me anxious. There are too many to mention. My therapist told me about an exercise to help with those kinds of thoughts, called the Leaves on a Stream exercise. This exercise helps acknowledge that these thoughts, and let them go as quickly as they came. Even after he gave me this exercise to practice, I still had problems with letting these unhelpful thoughts go. During a session after learning the exercise, he said something that has stuck with me ever since: “not every thought is worth thinking.” And it's the truth.

04. Life Is Full of "AFGE"’s

One session, my therapist brought up an acronym that his cousin (who is also a therapist) came up with: AFGE. It stands for Another Fucking Growth Experience. I laughed when he first told me what the acronym meant, but it’s very true. Life is full of them. And my life definitely has had its share of them.

05. Lean In

Fear is something that comes up quite frequently during my therapy sessions. The latest fear that has come up is the fear of getting a job because I'm afraid that I will get a panic attack at work and get fired. I've had panic attacks at work before, and it's scary. From the beginning, my therapist has always told me to "lean into the fear;" slowly start something that you're scared of.

I know that I am extremely lucky and fortunate to even be able to receive mental health care in this day and age. and I honestly wish that everyone that needs help receives it. It shouldn't even be a debate: mental health care is health care. I made the decision to see a therapist before the COVID-19 pandemic, but because of the pandemic, people need mental health care more than ever. If you have access to and are afraid to get help, take it from me: you won't regret it. It has helped me so much throughout this past year. If you are unable to receive help because of your insurance, there are free and affordable ways to get help, listed here: https://lifehacker.com/top-10-free-and-affordable-mental-health-and-counseling-1788814933#:~:text=Top%2010%20Free%20and%20Affordable%20Mental%20Health%20and,The%20Trevor%20Project.%205%206.%20IAMAlive.%20More%20items