A Homily

I'm officiating another wedding in September. My dear friend, Alex, is marrying her sweet love, Camille, and I get to give the speech that binds them together in the eyes of the law. I thought I might play with a few ideas here to help me brainstorm and develop the message. I'll skip the boring standard introduction stuff; similarly, I won't include the wrap-up with their commitments and whatnot. Just the goods.

***

Alex and Camille read to each other, which is both terribly inspirational and wildly romantic. Poetry, often by Mary Oliver, is the indulgence. I've read her work, but long before I ever knew what love meant to me, so I decided to revisit it for the occasion. I started with the collection called "Devotions," where I found a piece that speaks loudest for the occasion and about these two friends of mine. The final line of the poem titled "Lead," a thoughtful lamentation about the death of a flock of loons, gave me the scaffolding I needed to tell this story. After hearing about and recounting the tragic end of this throng of great northern divers, Mary says to us, "I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world."

I know death is not the usual inspiration for a wedding ceremony. In fact, one might say it is the last thing that should be brought up at such an event. However, I vehemently disagree, particularly in this circumstance. You see, Alex and Camille have both suffered heartbreaks. Abstruse and insoluble loss. But as Mary would have it, they have never closed their hearts to the world. If anything, their capacity for love grew immeasurably, so that when they met, they were ready to choose each other. They knew almost instantly exactly what they had found.

I met Alex about eleven years ago; it was not long after, that I saw just how good Alex can be. A titan of kindness and care in a time of great suffering for her and those around her, she taught me what it meant to show up for your friends and how to make them your family. How to "stay with the trouble," how to be a shelter, and how to grieve. Which is actually to say, how to love.

Camille's gentle demeanor, wicked humor, and generous spirit complement Alex's nature and show her easy embodiment of virtues that Alex holds dear. I've known from the start that Camille was a remarkable person and a wonderful partner to Alex. Her ability to form authentic connections and kin is as endearing as it is impressive; it emanates the deeper understanding of a person who knows how to cherish. Her charm is effervescent, but what truly captures the heart is Camille's smile and laughter.

To get an honest belly laugh out of Camille is one of this earth's not-so-simple delights. Camille is polite and laughs at many things, but when Camille thinks something is genuinely funny, you will know. It is a glorious laugh that will light up any room.

I remember the first time I heard Camille's laugh. It was not too long after Alex had started working with her. The crew at the lab was having a beach day staff party. Alex had invited me along because she wanted me to meet Camille in the most subtle and unassuming way: with a large group of other people whom I had never met before. The stakes were low, and the object was clear: "Look for the hottest person ever, you can't miss her," Alex had told me. I didn't miss her. Her smile was inviting, and her laugh was infectious. I knew immediately who she was and why Alex was so smitten.

Since they began, each has done nothing but show pure devotion to the other.

You can understand why I think they are so perfect for each other and why I think so highly of them. Because they are, and they deserve it. They are people who have taken some of the hardest gristle and turned it into the most useful of tallow. They turned grief and pain into something most sublime: love.

I know this love will continue to extend beyond the borders of what even they imagined they could hold, and their family will grow with it. In this, I have the utmost faith, and for them, the most incaculable adoration. I love you both, and I am so pleased to call you wife and wife today.