Falling In Love with the wrong person

Being young and inexperienced in life can bring fun, crazy times, and unknown factors and facing your own fears. When you are young and naïve, you tend to trust everyone around you. I met my first husband when I was just 18 years old. It was like being in a whirlwind, we had so much fun together the first year we were together. We went on vacations, we traveled, we took pictures, so many things that we did together. I thought wow this man is so amazing and fun to be around. We did the craziest things.

One morning I woke up and I felt horrible. I was so nauseated, My breasts were hurting something terrible. I went to a friends house of mine and we went to go to Walmart to get a pregnancy test. We went back to her house and i ended up taking the test. I couldn't tell you how nervous I was, My stomach was turning, my heart was racing. I had so many thoughts running through my mind. So I took the test and of course it was positive. I was in shock I couldn't believe it. I was pregnant. I thought to myself I am way to young for this. How am I going to raise a child? Im a child myself. This is not how I saw my life going.

So I went to my boyfriends work to tell him, And I couldn't believe his response back to me. He asked me you are going to get an abortion right? I was in utter despair by his response. How could that have come from him? This person who I spent the last year with investing my time with has asked me to kill his child. I know I am young myself but I thought to myself abortion is not the answer here. We got ourselves into this we need to be responsible and come up with a plan.

A few months later we ended up getting married at the courthouse as we couldn't afford a big or even a small wedding. We were happy for a small amount of time until, my now husband and father of my child, decided to start drinking, and drinking heavily. He would work so many hours and never be home. he wouldn't even come to the doctors appointments with me. Everything I had to do I had to do alone. Every day that passed was worse than the day before. My husband started driving drunk and Hiding the bottles of vodka that he would buy and lie about his addiction to alcohol. He became this monster, someone I didn't even know anymore. One night he came home from work and started pushing me and hitting me for no reason, he was just angry all the time. How could I know this person? who has he become? My mother in law at the time ended up calling the police that night, I ended up hitting my husband out of self defense and being pregnant. We both were arrested that night and sat in jail for 12 hours.

We were given an option to voluntarily go to counseling so my mother in law wouldn't have a lien placed on her home. So, we did go to counseling as he said he would change that it would never happen again. Of course I believed why wouldn't I this was my husband the father of my child. Maybe it was my fault. I was blaming myself for all of this mess. I wasnt a good wife, I could be better I told myself. So after 6 months fo counseling we had our son, it had seemed to get better for a small period of time. Just after a few months things started to get worse again, my husband started drinking again and getting more physical. My son's first year of his life was nothing but fighting and police and me being abused. I didn't want to live life like this. I was so afraid of my husband, afraid I wore the wrong thing, afraid of coming out of the room, just being afraid to live.

One afternoon my husband came home he was drunk out of his mind, we started fighting, i had to find a way out of this life. He stormed in and I just knew this time was going to be different. he threw me up against the wall and held me by my throat. Our son who was 9 months old was just down the hall from all of this commotion. I thought I was going to die this day, I was so afraid of how my son was going to go on living his life with such an abusive father. I knew I had to muster up the strength to get out. I had this intense strength to kick him and get away from him and grab my baby and go running out of the house screaming as to cause attention to him. The police were called and my husband ran to grabbed our son threw him in the truck with no car seat and took off down the road. I was so scared for our son's life. So afraid this was it. This was the end. The Police showed up I gave them a description of the truck he was driving, of the clothes he was wearing, what he looked like, I told him he has our son with no car seat. Within Minutes the police had stopped him and I drove to where he was, I brought the car seat with me .

As I arrived I noticed he had a swollen mouth as he told the police I had hit him. I told the police I never touched him. I said look at my face its all bloody and black and blue from him hitting me. He had hit himself to make it look like I had hit him. My emotions were all over the place. I was a wreck. I was exhausted mentally and physically and emotionally. I just wanted to have a peaceful life. I put my son in his car seat as he was ok. I just kept thanking god that my son was ok. I went back to our house to pack up everything we had and left to go stay with my mother.

Everything in life happens for a reason, we don't know what that reason is but we have to have faith in god to know there is always a better tomorrow. I look back on this situation saying I am glad I went through this as this situation made me stronger. I know my worth, I know who I am. I know the value I bring to this world. We all have a purpose here in life and god is not done with our story yet.