Emotions

You and your friend must excel in Friday's exam to avoid summer classes, and after a week of studying, you both feel confident that you pulled it off. However, when you receive your grades, they are much lower than expected, leaving you devastated. Meanwhile, your friend appears unfazed, prompting you to question why you can't shake it off like they can.

But is it truly necessary to try to find a positive perspective? And is it even possible to control our emotions in the first place?

The answer to the latter question is a resounding "yes." There are various strategies for managing our emotions, and one framework for understanding these techniques is known as the Process Model. Psychologists utilize this tool to pinpoint where and how to intervene in the process that shapes our emotions.

The stages of this process:

1. First, we encounter a situation, whether real or imagined, that captures our attention.

2. Then we assess, or appraise, the situation and whether it supports or hinders our objectives.

3. Finally, this appraisal results in a series of changes in how we feel, think, and behave, known as an emotional response.

Every stage of this procedure presents an opportunity to consciously interfere and alter our emotions, and the Process Model details the strategies we can attempt at each stage.

To witness this in practice, let’s consider a scenario where you have been invited to the same event as your least favorite ex and their new partner. Your initial strategy might involve avoiding the situation altogether by not attending the event. However, if you do decide to go, you could also attempt to alter the situation by choosing not to engage with your ex. If that proves to be challenging, you may opt to redirect your focus, perhaps by engaging in a game with your friends instead of fixating on your ex’s new partner.

Another approach could be to reassess how you perceive the situation. After a thorough reevaluation, you may come to the realization that you are indifferent to your ex’s choice of partner.

If none of these strategies prove effective, you can always attempt to moderate your emotional response afterwards. However, this can be complex. Many of the easiest methods to do so, such as concealing your emotions or attempting to alter them with recreational substances, typically result in more negative emotions and long-term health concerns. More sustainable strategies in this case include taking a long walk, practicing slow, deep breathing, or confiding in someone in your support network.

Mastering these strategies requires practice, but recognizing your emotions and understanding their origins is a crucial step. Once you have internalized the ability to regulate your emotions, the process becomes much simpler.

However, the question remains: should you strive to maintain a positive mood using these techniques constantly? The answer lies in your definition of what constitutes a "good" mood. While it may seem ideal to avoid feelings of sadness and frustration, emotions themselves are not inherently good or bad— they are either beneficial or detrimental depending on the circumstances.

For instance, when consoling a friend who has experienced a loss, it is not only appropriate but also beneficial to feel and express sadness in order to empathize and provide support. On the other hand, while it is unhealthy to suppress your emotions regularly, putting on a smile to navigate through a temporary annoyance is perfectly acceptable.

It is common to receive conflicting messages about emotions. Some encourage us to maintain a positive attitude, while others advise us to accept our emotions as they are. However, it is important to recognize that each individual must find their own equilibrium.

When asked whether one should always strive to be happy, the answer is no. Research indicates that individuals who are fixated on happiness often experience additional negative emotions, such as guilt, frustration, and disappointment. This does not mean that one should allow sadness or anger to dominate. Instead, strategies like reappraisal can assist in re-evaluating thoughts about a situation, enabling the acceptance of sadness while fostering hope for improvement.