Embodied Presence

JANUARY 1, 2021 - Wow! We made it. I never thought last year was going to end. Struggling for the energy to get through another day, while not feeling at all what I was experiencing within my body. The sluggish, uncomfortable weight of 2020: grief, heartache, frustration, impatience, longing, denial – constant, conflicting thoughts of Covid! STOP!!! Oh and...all the extra pounds from eating my feelings.

Yet today, there is a shift, a sense of renewal, recognition, change in perspective, a glimmer of hope. I sense there is a pathway to truth. I feel my body knows exactly what it needs - for healing, restoration, purifying, and a cleaning up of my internal and external weight. By listening within, I can actually hear what my body needs. “My body knows what it needs.” Mind blow! I repeat this epiphany one more time, “my body knows what it needs.”

Through the body is how I create, energize, stay well, feel alive, make healthy choices. If I observe and honor that with which I feel, intentions become clear and I know which actions to take. Despite my fears - the first step this year is simple - embrace what is. Embodied Presence. It begins through feeling, moving beyond thinking. Slowing down, in order to shed the layers of crap blocking invaluable feelings inside. If I feel what needs to be healed, I can choose simple, devoted actions that become daily, sacred rituals. This, will create long lasting change/transformation.

I know healing is essential for growth, whether it’s emotional, mental, physiological or spiritual. There is still a lot of work to do, individually and collectively. Between our joys and grievances - we are now in a space of “what do we do next?” or “the fight is not over.” There is a distinct divide amongst us. The “Other” within my community needs to be heard. In order to bridge our differences, as in any relationship, we have to continue working on ourselves. Tracing the word Psyche or Soul, leads to the Greek word Soma, which means Body. The truth of who we are can be discovered within our bodies.

So, I decided to begin every day from this place I call Embodied Presence. My body would be the bridge between dreaming and awake / unconscious and conscious / ethereal and tangible / process and integration / problem solving and healing / visualization and creative action.

How do I want to feel? How do I want to show up? How do I want to express all my thoughts and ideas? 2021 is not going to be “what it looks like” – it’s going to be “what it feels like”. The more I step into my future self and how I want to feel, the more I embody my truth, authenticity, vulnerability, creativity, and the unique traces of who I am and all that I am becoming.

In order to honor this way of being, I created a well-deserved embodiment practice; a ritual to embrace, accept and feel into the truth of who I AM. I find it useful and hope others will too.

THE PRACTICE:

1. Begin with gratitude & acceptance of what is, what you have, where you are presently.

2. Ask yourself, how do I want to feel on a regular basis in my body/mind/spirit?

3. What no longer aligns with feeling this way? (You probably already know what it is, as it would have shown up in relationship to yourself/others this past year.)

4. Feel into the subtleties - this may come through a physical sensation and not an emotion. How does this feel different to an old way of thinking or relating to yourself?

5. Now thank your old joys and haunts for keeping you feeling safe and supported. Thank yourself for the growth & security it offered you.

6. Let it go with the intention of allowing something new, which aligns with your purpose & value - that which will bring you more joy for who you are now becoming.

7. Feel into this space of expansion on the horizon, full of gratitude & abundance.

ONE MONTH LATER

Change happens fast when you’re ready for it, especially when you ask for it. The power of manifestation!

I knew my physical body needed support, so I began by identifying the symptoms of distress. I was lethargic, bloated, experiencing eczema flare-ups and cranky. I didn’t feel good. My hormones were out of control and my liver was taxed. I didn’t know whether it came from the stress of the pandemic, the food I was eating or the alcohol I was drinking. So, I dove headfirst into the Whole30. No grains, no dairy, no legumes, no alcohol, no added or artificial sugar. Scary, but feeling bad all the time was scarier. A few friends decided to take the plunge, so we offered each other support and accountability.

The first few days were intense, yet insightful. Overall, it was much easier than expected. Probably because my body was dying for it. After a week, my energy rose sharply, and my clarity of thought was pristine. That’s when I started receiving clear messages from my nightly dreams.

My dreams were telling me to write. I had Grandmother Medicine and animals visit. One was the Beaver, “the builder of dreams.” Then the Spider, to teach me “how to use words with power and creativity to weave a web around all those who would read them.” (Ted Andrews, Animal Speak)

My memory perked; I could remember as a child how badly I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I even wrote a 200-page novel when I was twelve! It was my way to escape reality and create the future I wanted to see. I decided where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. I remember who I was. I am beginning to see.

I don’t know exactly where this path will lead but I’m certainly staying on it. The energetic shift I feel throughout my body aligns with an inner sense of knowing, purpose and purity of spirit, which feels different.

This, feels good. Maybe even a little extraordinary.