Depression in Love - The Heartache That No One Sees

Depression caused by love makes you feel sad and helpless, helpless, uprooted, abandoned by everyone, hopeless, disapproving, and blaming you for the weakness of letting go of these feelings.

When the thread of a love affair breaks…

… .Sadness is so real, so sharp and soothing that you want to never part with it again. The feeling of guilt is so strong that it leaves you breathless, slender, without the strength to ever be able to breathe love around someone else. The feeling that you have lost everything is more terrifying and more drained of hope than the thought that you could ever recover.

The certainty that you have given everything of yourself and that you will never be able to offer anything again is a ruthless murderer who is slowly, slowly poisoning your thoughts. Disappointment… I don't think anyone can express it in words. It is louder and more suffocating than any trace of love that has ever existed. You feel it go up (why does it never go down? ...) to the tip of your nails.

Pulses and grinds slowly and surely, over and over again, like a hammer that finds its weak point at the foot of your brain the universe. And every step you take on your own in a world that has suddenly become a stranger seems like a drama to you ... and what happened to you is a tragedy ...

… Your hands shake other hands, your body gets lost in a crowd of people crossing the street. You smile… It's your smile. She may cry… These are your tears. Maybe laugh… It's your laugh. Maybe somewhere, in a corner of the mind, the thought of hope is born.

Maybe… Your human intuition is eager to be convinced. You stretch your fingers and examine your face. Yes, it's your tears. Yes, it's your laugh. But where are YOU among all this?

The fingers of your hand then slide lightly towards the heart. You hope that you desperately wipe with the tip of your sleeve and push it away like an unreal thought of beauty, terribly impossible. She's too eager to be real not to kill her for good.

And every step you take, trying to be brave enough to walk the world again, takes you away from everything you've ever wanted. In that place where you arrive, the Great Place, you come across a big blockage. And where is your path in this world?

Your heart is so torn that it can only cry through tears. And in some cases, the tears are silenced and they have no words to say. It is most difficult when the pain is dull. Memories are so current that you look at them in all the people around you.

The minutes are hard to press, the hours seem like eternal moments of pain, the days a nothingness in which you want to evaporate slowly and surely. Time is a deep wound that eats your body and torments every living cell in your body.

The pleasure of taste and life flows from you drop by drop. Sleep becomes your refuge ... if you dare to take refuge in the crazy and beloved memories that visit you in the middle of the night in the form of dreams…. The desire to do something for you, EVERYTHING, evaporates.

Your existence becomes indifferent, so indifferent that everything that happens around you cannot save you from being absent. You don't care about the goal - you don't care anymore. You just want to know what you want but this is so impossible, unachievable... You realize it to the point of white canvas… so you don't want anything else.

Your body also torments you with your soul. He feels cold, chills, pain through every pore and helplessly extends his hand after a familiar hug, after a presence that was familiar and dear to him… And what is bad is when this pain persists and shows no sign that one day he might just disappear ...

When you can no longer love, but you fall in love with your suffering…

Don't think that what I've described now is a script from a psychological thriller or a sequence from what emo feels. Do not think that the association between depression and love is not a real one, because it is as true as can be.

After a breakup, no matter who was determined, who left, or who stayed, these feelings appear with furious force. But how do we tell the difference between a normal state of sadness after a breakup and a real depression?

Immediate suffering is normal after a breakup. It is the suffering of the one who leaves a void behind, it is the suffering of the one who cannot get used to the emptiness in his life and cannot accept emotionally, for the moment, the loss.

We can talk about a depression in love when these feelings persist for a long time and the person in question can not get rid of the feeling of sadness, guilt, anger (oriented towards himself or a specific person), disappointment, irremediable bearing.

Some psychologists call this psychological manifestation broken heart syndrome. It is an incredibly strong and unitary connection that is established between body and soul and how the dysfunction of one affects the functionality of the other.

Researchers in the medical world have found that in the face of deep suffering and strong emotional shock, on the physical level, the heart has symptoms similar to a heart attack. The syndrome is called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.

Depression caused by love or lack of it is a daily reality and affects more and more people (especially young people who, due to lack of life experience, are more vulnerable, sensitive, and insecure).

Neglected or untreated, depression can lead to the thought of stopping this ongoing suffering and causes another dangerous thought: suicide, in which negative feelings of guilt, disappointment, and anger are violently manifested towards oneself. A sudden, unforeseen "bad" breakup can easily lead to a loss of self-identity and a decrease in self-esteem and self-esteem.

Remorse, pain, and shock are normal at every breakup we go through in life, but when you break up with your loved one there are extra feelings: you are ashamed (of yourself, of everything that has happened to you), your self-esteem decreases dramatically, in an almost ridiculous way, and the rapid mood swings are out of your control.

But one of the most terrible and frightening things that can happen to you after a breakup is obsessive thinking: What if I had acted differently at some point, things would have been different now? If we had met more often and put more effort into this relationship, would he still be here now? ” says Susan Piver, a psychologist and author of The Wisdom of a Broken

And we must admit that indeed, with masochism and a regular Swiss watch, "if" in all its, possible and impossible variants continues to haunt you again and again, even after a long period of separation.

Sometimes suffering can be a self-imposed or self-induced state, as a kind of penance for sentimental failure or an unconscious attempt by the individual to take the blame and full responsibility on his shoulders.

Also, people with depression feel sad and helpless, helpless, uprooted or uprooted and planted in the wrong place, abandoned by everyone, hopeless, and unable to refrain from blaming themselves for the weakness of succumbing to these feelings.

They want so badly to have what they cannot have (in this case the presence of the loved one) and they long so intensely for what they have lost that they are exhausted and physiologically, not just emotionally, it almost becomes a reality. Because, isn't it, sometimes the hardest thing you can ask of yourself is to shake off the past and look forward with optimism?