Dear Men: It's Okay to Cry

Several months ago, I wrote a story about MLB All-Star Jarren Duran and his struggles with his mental health. There was a docuseries in 2024 where he discussed his suicide attempts in 2022. Besides the homophobic slur he uttered towards a fan that occurred in August 2024, which I still hold him accountable for, I was empathetic towards his plight and also commended him for being open and honest about his personal battles. Many people believe that athletes have perfect lives, but in reality, there's no such thing as a perfect life. In fact, it doesn't exist. At the end of the day, they're regular people just like us and go through hardships. You never know what goes on behind the scenes in their lives.

I'm sick and tired of the majority of people telling men to "Man Up" and they should hold everything in. You don't know their backstory or what they've gone through. Since the dawn of time, us men were told for years that we shouldn't cry and we have to always be strong. That it's a sign of weakness. That crying makes us feel "unmanly". Telling a man to just "Man Up" is not the most helpful advice to give them. There's no shame about men expressing their feelings and shedding some tears. We cry whenever our favorite characters die in our favorite tv shows or movies, when our favorite team win a championship, or when a loved one dies. You can only put on a brave face and pretend that everything is fine for so long. That was my mindset for so long when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in 2012 and had a mental breakdown several years later, which led me to attempt suicide on numerous occasions. I was so hesitant to seek professional help, because I didn't want my friends or anyone else to know what I was going through. I've always assumed that going to therapy was a sign of weakness and it was something to be ashamed of. Eventually, I took that huge step and started seeing a therapist. During the Covid-19 pandemic, my depression got even worse and felt more isolated from everyone. I couldn't attend any conventions for nearly three years, because I was a cosplayer at the time. I attempted to take my own life again because I constantly blamed myself for the pandemic occurring in the first place. Since the global pandemic, I've been open and honest about my mental health struggles, and everyone showed empathy towards me.

The reasons why most men are unable to be open and honest about their feelings is because they were shamed and mocked for doing so. The stigma of men suffering from mental illness is still present. People tend to forget that just like women, men are human beings with valid feelings. They should have the freedom to cry and express themselves in frustration. Bottling up your feelings doesn't help when you're already mentally wounded and scarred. It'll just hold you back even further. When my grandfather passed away in 2022, I was devastated and in tears. I was very close to him, and I took his loss really hard. I think about him every day and know he'll always be there for me in spirit. I've cried on several occasions, due to real life events that took place in this country, such as the September 11 attacks and the Pulse nightclub shooting. So yes, real men do cry and there's no shame of letting everything out. If Jimmy Kimmel can break down in tears on camera, so can other men. Crying is good for the soul and is also a stress reliever. Men need to be shown empathy, understanding, and to be listened to, not mockery and ridicule. Listen to their stories, so that way, you'll have a better understanding of who they are and the things that they've gone through or are going through now. The ongoing narrative of men needing to be strong and resilient without showing any emotions is false. It's unrealistic and is not what real life is supposed to be like. Men: don't let anyone shame you for expressing your own true feelings. It's okay to not be okay. We all go through our ups and downs. Life isn't supposed to be great all the time. Crying is what makes us human. It doesn't make you any less of a man, regardless of what others say. Stay strong and remember that you're not alone.

If you or anyone is suffering or struggling with mental health problems and need emotional support, please call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by texting 988.