Dear 13 year old me

Dear 8th- grade soph,

You are my role model.

As I look back into my memories, to figure out how I got to this point.

I found out that the person who has inspired me the most is you.

We went through so much and yet we are still standing.

The girl that I see in you is a relentless strong girl.

You went through so much and yet you still had the stamina to fight back and prove everyone wrong.

I wish I could have told you to slow down

That we did not have to go so fast so soon

That you did not have to do anything that you did not want to do

But, that was not your fault.

The world was against a 13 -year old girl.

You had people in your ear telling you that you were fat.

That you were not good enough, That your dreams and goals were a joke.

You put your all into everything and yet, people still fought back at you.

You cried yourself to sleep for nights and asked yourself “Why am I not good enough”

You batted severe depression and did not let anyone see it

I am so sorry that you felt so alone and thought that you had to be perfect

Now the cycle begins again like it always does, but there is a major difference that I want to tell you.

We are different now.

Not completely but we are getting stronger.

As I really on your resistance and determination, I am doing things that we want to do.

For years, we have let other people dictate our lives. For YEARS, we have given people our energy and negated ourselves. For YEARS, we tried to be perfect and always had a smile. Even if that smile was fake.

I have decided that I am going to protect you.

Even though I cannot time travel and be by your side.

I am going to protect you

As you have shown me determination and a positive mindset, I will show you how to stand up for yourself and do things that you want to do.

A couple of months ago, I took us out of that toxic path that you so desperately wanted to do.

I know that you wanted to go down that path because you wanted to prove to everyone that you can do it and prove to the negative voices in your head

But, it was not healthy.

Soph, life is so more than proving people wrong. Life is more important than chasing after a toxic expectation at school

I am going to chase after the happiness that you could not achieve.

I am going to chase after feeling whole.

So far, we are happier compared to the prior years.

Our soul is slowly growing and I am figuring out how we can go down this new path.

But, I am not alone. We have the sun and the moon to guide us.

We can do this.

I won’t stop until we finally get the home that you deserve.

Even though we are not the same anymore, I will continue to use your resilience to take us home.

I am so proud of you and I love you

Love,

Your future self