Changing The Narrative

Personality "disorder."

...

Personality: "The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinct character" (Oxford University Press, 2025).

"The complex of characteristics ... the quality or state of being ... that distinguishes an individual. The quality, state, or fact of being a person" (Merriam-Webster, 2025).

Disorder (noun): "An illness or condition that disrupts normal physical or mental functions. A state of confusion" (Oxford University Press, 2025).

Disordered (adjective): "Not neatly arranged. In a mess. Unkempt. Out of place." (Oxford University Press, 2025)" ... "Morally reprehensible." (Merriam-Webster, 2025) ... "Not normal, in a way that is unhealthy" (Cambridge University Press, 2025).

...My state of being that distinguishes me from other people is morally reprehensible?

Diagnoses can be helpful; supportive, if not life-saving. Receiving my diagnosis put a name to the immense suffering I had been experiencing for years. Ironically, it spoke to me that I am not crazy, that my pain was real, that there are thousands of other people experiencing similar difficulties. This was a huge relief.

It has aided me in coming to terms with my trauma, in reconciling my present with my past. Most importantly, I have been able to locate and gain access to the most effective therapies I need, and I have found a community of people just like me who suffer, cope, and find hope in similar ways.

Diagnoses can also be incredibly hurtful.

There is a severe lack of everyday success stories in mainstream media. You'd be hard-pressed to find anything telling you that yes, you can do it. Seriously, Google search something - anything - positive about your diagnosis. It's really hard to find.

In a world that looks down on us and sees us as a perpetual problem, we need to take the generation of hope, healing, and self-respect into our own hands.

A helpful start for me was 'Rewriting my own narrative.' I learned this through an Intentional Peer Support Specialist Training. It takes between 5 and 10 minutes at most (maybe more if you start crying like me). It is a very useful start in retraining your brain to see yourself as a whole person rather than an ongoing subject of treatment.

Instructions

Write your "story" in a way a doctor or clinical professional might write it, but from the first-person. You're writing your own story, but using clinical language and terms. It can be as long or as short as you would like

Here is mine:

"I have felt different from other people from an early age. I experienced incredibly low self-worth and fluctuations in my identity and sense-of-self. As I got older, I began to lash out through impulsive behaviors such as reckless driving, substance use, and impulsive hook-ups. After a bad break-up when I was 20, I struggled to regulate my emotions, engaged in threats to harm myself, and as a result, I was sent to the hospital twice by my loved ones. This lead to a four-month stay at an inpatient rehabilitation center. After I got out, when I was 22, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. While I am currently mentally stable and have not experienced any severe mental health crises as of recent, I still struggle with paranoia, emotional-regulation, and the desire to act impulsively."

Next, rewrite the same story in 'layman's' terms. Avoid using any words that a clinician might such as "paranoia," "disassociation," "disorder," "delusion," or "dis-regulated," and avoid any terms or language used in diagnostic criteria, including the diagnosis itself. Pretend you have never been diagnosed, and write as if you are just any other person. Pretend you are explaining your life to a 12-year-old with a very simple vocabulary.

Writing this version may take longer.

For as long as I can remember, I have had trouble accepting myself and understanding how I fit into this world. This has always really bothered me. I have really strong, intense feelings and emotions, and sometimes they are stronger than other people's feelings and may affect me more. I am really terrified of being rejected, because it hurts me so deeply, so I had a strong reaction to a break-up in my early 20's. I reacted how anyone would if they felt hurt and pain the way I do.

Because these strong feelings can sometimes put me at risk of getting hurt, I spent some time in the hospital and in a home with other people to better understand myself and to understand how to keep myself safe. I have learned a lot since then about how my past experiences and my feelings affect my daily life and about how to live a satisfactory life. I am still working on accepting myself as a person, maintaining happy relationships with the people I love, communicating with people in a respectful, clear way, and reacting to social situations in a way that feels OK for myself and others.

When internalized, stigma can lead to self-doubt, insecurity, isolation, and further health problems. We have dealt with enough suffering and questioning of ourselves as is. Rewrite your story in a way the rest of the world may not.

Accept your limitations, your suffering, your trauma, your pain, your sorrows, and the areas you would like to work on to live a more fulfilled life. Do not accept, however, that you are "wrong," "abnormal," "disordered," "out of line," or "confused."

Faults, mistakes, and unique experiences do not make you wrong.

They just make you a person.