An Old Soul

I've been told I'm an old soul.

"In fact, this line, do you see this line right here? In the place where this little fat pad curves in and cuts off a little?" the psychic had a strange not-southern-drawl to her speech. She chewed gum through a bright white smile.

"Yes," I said, contemplating if my fingers were fat.

"It matches right along with your numerology, a 9," she let the number nine linger in the air and popped a big pink bubble, "and your tarot card from my very own The Pteetneet Cryptic now on sale in the lobby for 49.99, The Anomaly."

"What does that mean?"

"I've been reading these cards for nearly 57 years now, and I look damned good by the way, not to mention in at least 3 different lives and 6 different dimensions. Nobody pulls the Anomaly. Not for a single card reading. You sir, are not just an old soul, you... I mean... you could be the oldest."

"Cool," I said, "what does it say about bitches at tomorrow's party?"

"Why do I feel like I can tell you anything?" asks the redhead I met about 10 minutes ago. Her name is Emileighjene and she is the fourth of seven kids. She hasn't lived here for very long, but she still has enough money to get through the end of the month to find a more permanent paying job. Her grandma died last month and she had to miss the funeral, but thank god the yeast infection is clearing up.

"I genuinely. I honestly, if you can tell me that would be awesome," I fluster to find the answer the very question I've been asking her in my head for the prior 8.5 minutes of the conversation. It's not the first conversation I've had like this. It's not even the first I'll have tonight.

I make an excuse and go to get a drink from the bar.

I bump into a girl in yellow, she's crying, I apologize. Did I do something? I ask myself. Huh, Deja vu moment. I remember asking myself that before. It's my turn in line and the bartender, a burly-chested shorty with a thick beard, stares me down. I totally want to be this guy. I bet he gets all the chicks.

"What would you like?" he says, I squint at his badge. Is my eyesight getting bad? Chad. Oh, yeah, he looks like a Chad. Maybe a Bo, or a Sarge. Manly. I am stone cold not gay, but bro I get it. I would totally gay fuck this guy. Shit shit. He's... order something. What do people drink? What's a normal human drink?

"Tom Collins," I mutter, hoping I just ordered something with alcohol.

My group of friends slowly arrive, one by one, and we find a private space to relax, shake off the harder parts of our lives, and enjoy each others company. Each one of us so different and each one of us such a perfect fit. I'm happy. I'm basking in the happiness of the best people I know until my happiness is so overwhelming that my heart begins beating really fast and my pulse quickens and my blood flows hard, like really hard, and I turn red and my hearing starts to fade and everything turns just a little darker shade of...

"In every life," a medium told me, "every single life you have ever lived you have chosen to be a religious figure. You have dedicated all lives to the study of the gods and the universe. Basking in the glory of the creator." She wiggle a loose string of glass beads in the air. "My aura is so off today."

"Uhm."

"Except this one. You chose this life, on purpose, to go against faith. This is your last life and you knew that you couldn't ascend until you lived a life completely removed from the religions you were dedicated to. I'm here with your past life as a monk in a high Tibetan castle. I'm here with a handsome catholic priest. I saw a missionary from a tribe that was wiped out before it could ever rise. "

"Cool, cool," I say.

Things were black. Where am I? The party. I'm at the party. My best friends. Did anyone notice that? Did I just pass out or did that not happen? Riley is looking at me. To check on me? Nod your head like you are fine, but also like you might just be nodding to the conversation. Yeah, Riley, I am fine. Just a little confused. Why is my heart pounding so hard. Light headed as hell.

Reese has taken your hand. Oh, you're being asked you a question. Why does this feel so familiar? Raise your eyebrow like you didn't quite hear the question so they’ll ask you again. Do they know that something is wrong? Oh, gods I hope I don't pass out again. These are my people. They love me. I am so happy here tonight and I feel like I've done this all before and I want to do it over and over again as much as possible and I can see it happening from all angles and I can feel it. I can feel it deep inside me. These are the people I want in my life because... and Reese still holds my hand and I think he might know that I might be deep in a panic attack because this is exactly what I need or is he doing it because he needs the physical comfort too or am I holding on too long? Am I being weird? Is this gay? Awkward. Maybe I am a little gay... because...

I am an old soul. I'm the oldest soul and this is my last life.

Because I was once Riley and I was once Reese. I was once a monk and a priest and a missionary. I've been Chad and Bo and Sarge. I've been Emileighjene and a bubble-gum popping psychic.

I sit with my favorite of the people I once was, my family, formed from different background and leading unique lives and ideas. I'm happy and I am lucky to live this life. Because whatever comes next will be an Anomaly. No more people left. You’ve lived every life on the planet and you know it because you wrote this. Yes, you, you reading this. You writing this.

Love your friends. Do it all the time. Make it weird.

I’m holding my breath again.