ADHD's Impact on Self-Esteem

Hello there! I'm Madison, your friendly psychologist. Today, I'd like to have a heart-to-heart talk about ADHD and how it affects the way we see ourselves.

You see, our early life experiences lay the foundation for how we perceive ourselves. When it comes to ADHD, there are some common beliefs that tend to pop up. Let's dive into them together.

Feeling Flawed: One of the most common beliefs is feeling flawed. It's like we carry this constant sense of not being good enough in every aspect of our lives. This can make us super sensitive to criticism and rejection. We might even find ourselves comparing our abilities to those of others all the time.

Perception of Failure: The second belief is all about thinking we're destined to fail. It's as if we believe we're not going to reach our full potential, no matter how hard we try. This can lead to feelings of incompetence and might make us give up on things way too easily.

Lack of Self-Discipline: The third belief revolves around a lack of self-discipline. We might struggle to depend on ourselves to get things done. Waiting for results can feel unbearable, and we end up dodging responsibilities, even if it means missing out on personal growth opportunities.

Now, how do these beliefs come about?

Early Setbacks Leading to Feelings of Shame: It all starts with those early encounters with failure and underachievement. These experiences often plant the seeds of shame deep within us.

Impulsivity and Hyperactivity, Resulting in Consequences: Our impulsivity and hyperactivity tendencies can sometimes lead to disciplinary issues. People might label us as troublesome because it's tough for us to settle down, and we often disrupt the environment unintentionally.

Interrupting Others and Facing Criticism: You know how sometimes we can't help but interrupt others? Well, that can lead to criticism and rejection, painting us in a negative light as selfish or inconsiderate.

Easily Bored, Leading to Perceptions of Unreliability: Have you ever noticed that it's challenging to stay interested in tasks for too long? This can give the impression that we're unreliable and inconsistent in our commitments.

Time Management Challenges Yielding Missed Opportunities: Poor time management skills might cause us to miss out on opportunities. This can be frustrating when it seems like everyone else effortlessly gets things right on their first try, while we find ourselves repeatedly attempting tasks with no guaranteed success.

Years of hearing these negative assessments from others and constantly criticizing ourselves can create a cycle of pessimism, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. We may start saying things like "I'm incapable," "I'm unlovable," "I'll never succeed," or "I'll never reach my goals."

To cope with these negative beliefs, we often develop unhelpful strategies like procrastination and avoidance. Unfortunately, these behaviors only make things worse. They trigger negative emotions like depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, and frustration, which, in turn, reinforce the core beliefs that we are flawed, failures, and lacking in self-control.

So, what can we do about it?

The first step is to work on changing those core beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs are what keep those unhelpful behaviors going, like procrastination and avoidance.

Next, we need to tweak our coping strategies so that they help reshape our core beliefs. This means making sure the feedback we give ourselves and receive from others is more positive and constructive.

Now, I should mention that schema therapy is an approach that can really help with this, but it's best done with the guidance of a trained therapist. It's different from cognitive-behavioral therapy and has been around for less than two decades, but it shows promise.

The key thing to remember is that ADHD doesn't define us. It's a challenge we face, but it's not who we are. We have the power to separate ourselves from the struggles and regain control over our lives.

By recognizing the difference between the disorder and our true selves, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. And let me tell you, self-compassion and seeking professional support are invaluable allies in this journey.

Change is possible, and you have the ability to shape your own story. It might not be easy, but it's worth it. So, keep a journal, practice positive reinforcement, and above all, be compassionate with yourself!

Best wishes,

Madison