A Time for Reflection

This photograph was taken while I was out on a cycle ride with some walking included. Oh, and a little bit of taking time out to appreciate the world around me, especially this beautiful brief moment in time.

I’m conscious that when I post stories on social media I always show the positive element of my day. I like to share my experiences in words to encourage others to be active, and to be outside, appreciating the world around us.

However, bear in mind that this, and my other posts, are only a snapshot in time. They’re not the full story. I think social media can have a really positive impact in sharing experiences. Too often though, it can overwhelm and discourage. It can be misrepresentative and actually have the opposite effect to the one intended.

I don’t know about you, but as a lifetime sufferer of depression and anxiety, I have days where just getting out of bed is a major achievement. I have had many days where I haven’t functioned at all. On days like these, social media often doesn’t help. I don’t need to see another inspirational post about learning to “dance in the rain”, or “filling every waking moment”, or learning to “focus on my goals”, or see yet another photograph of a bronzed statuesque individual in pristine physical and mental health beaming back at me. What I actually want to do is curl up under the sheets and never emerge again, ever. The important thing though, is this: I’ve learned to accept the fact that this is me. It’s Ok. I will have bad days. I don’t always know how long they will last, but I’m learning not to beat myself up, or compare myself with others while I feel this way.

So I’m posting this photo with a bit more background. It was a lovely late afternoon, and a really glorious scene. My state of mind, a bit like the weather, had lifted on this day to a brief moment of sunshine in an otherwise grey, brooding, stormy day. It was so heartwarming to have this scene and experience to lift my spirits, and to be able to stand and take in the beautiful colours around me. The after rain smell was so cool and refreshing. The light glistening and reflecting off the puddle of water was mesmerising and calming. The blue of the sky, with the cotton wool cumulus clouds floating gently across, captivated me. A refreshing breeze gently rustled the leaves on the surrounding trees, producing an accompanying soundtrack to the visual spectacle. For a short while I just appreciated the magic of the moment.

It was a refreshing moment of activity. But, it was in total contrast to the rest of my week, where depression had brought me to a standstill. So, whilst I hope you get a glimpse of my own enjoyment from this snapshot in time, I appreciate you may not be able to achieve the same yourself today. That’s really Ok.

This story is for those of you who are in a bad place right now, emotionally, financially, physically, or any combination thereof. I understand. I feel the same pain. Don’t feel the need to compare with this moment, or feel bad because it’s not happening for you right now. Be kind to yourself. If you’re stuck in this debilitating state, I understand. I hope it will pass. I hope you can find a coping mechanism, and a route out to a better day; a day when getting out of bed, showering and functioning will be a major achievement. When you do get to that point, celebrate it and give yourself a pat on the back. Maybe your next step will see you getting out being active.

For me, this photograph is almost like a bookmark, or a placeholder in life. I can still recall the scene and my sense of inner peace. I shall look forward to the next time I am blessed enough to be able to come across a similar moment. I hope it’s soon. In the meantime, if the storm comes back then forgive me if I seek shelter, and avoid dancing in the rain until I’m strong enough.