7 Lessons I Wish I Knew Earlier.

I am 41 now. Middle age has crept up on me.

When I think about my life, there are crucial lessons I wish I had realised earlier. The sooner these lessons are known, the happier your life will be and the brighter your future.

I know this is true because I now practice everything on the following list, and my life is better. I am happier and enjoy life far more now than I did at any other time.

A depression that haunted me throughout my 30’s is now history. My PTSD, which almost led to my suicide, is now tolerable.

Some of these concepts are difficult. They are works in progress as opposed to concrete goals. Nevertheless, every day you focus on them will be better than the last.

The best time to start implementing these concepts was as early as possible. The second best time is now.

1. It Is Never Too Late.

Life is unpredictable. It could end at any moment. Never believe that your age prevents you from achieving your goals.

How often have you heard people use age as an excuse for failing or not even attempting something?

Studying a language? I’m not a kid anymore!

Taking up exercise? Too old for that!

Learning a new skill? My brain isn’t 20 anymore!

Don’t believe any of this. If you do, you will make it true.

I started studying Japanese at 38. I resumed exercise after a decade long depression at 40 and am fitter now than ever before. I began writing full-time at age 41.

I am not alone. Steve Kaufmann speaks 20 languages, some of which he learnt at 60 years old.

The worlds oldest marathon runner did not take up running until he was 89!

Unfortunately, many people are lazy. Age is a convenient excuse to disguise their inertia or fear of failure. Do not believe it for a minute.

2. Social Media Can Feed Our Arrogance and Insecurity, But That Doesn’t Mean We Should Quit.

Many people use sites such as Facebook or Twitter to vent their frustration and hatred and nothing more.

The mainstream advice is to quit social media entirely.

I disagree. The only social media I use is Twitter, and I LOVE it.

Previously, I used Twitter like most people. I wasted time, got into trivial arguments and frittered away hours with no direction or purpose.

This year, I changed. I now use my Twitter channel to help myself and others improve our lives. I have built a friend network of great people who are also working on self-improvement.

Each day, I grow my Twitter following to reach a wider audience with my message. I have also found that Twitter is a great way to make money through such avenues as Affiliate Marketing, selling your products, email lists and much more.

Twitter has become a source of inspiration and growth in my life because I changed how I approach it. So before you give it up entirely, consider using it as a tool to improve your life.

3. Forgiveness Is a Beautiful Thing.

Many people misunderstand the nature of forgiveness. It does not mean letting someone off the hook, being their friend no matter what, or forgetting what they have done to you.

The Free Press Journal describes the process:

“By forgiving you are not giving in but letting go of that emotion which is so power packed that it compensates for the powerlessness which we feel when we are hurt.”

The key takeaway is that forgiveness benefits YOU. It says nothing about the rightness or wrongness of the offending action. You are not inviting the person back into your life.

You are letting go of your pain.

You are deciding to move on with your life and not remain shackled to the pain of the past.

I had to forgive the people who bullied me as a teenager in my life. I don’t want anything to do with them, and I know their behaviour was reprehensible.

However, I also didn’t want to live my life with the burning anger inside me. Such rage was helping no one, least of all me. It was preventing me from living my ideal life.

So I have accepted that it happened. I have made peace with the fact that my abusers treated me terribly, but that shows a feeling of inadequacy in their own lives.

I wish them the best. Not because I like them, but because I have better things to be focusing on, and I want humanity to be the best it can be. Hatred never helped a single person.

4. Do Not Argue with Irrational People.

Some people want to argue for argument’s sake. Do not indulge them. Some things are worth fighting for — your life, your family, your health and your wellbeing — many are not. Try to persuade people by all means, but if a situation turns hostile, ask yourself if it’s worth it. The vast majority of the time, it isn’t.

In fact, the moment you start arguing, you have usually already lost. You are being dragged down to a base level of aggression where logic and reason are thrown out the window.

When I finally gained confidence in my twenties, I felt I had to stand up for every little thing I believed in — to fight against every perceived slight. I spent a lot of time arguing about things that didn’t matter.

The arguments I regret most were with my dad. We went through a rocky patch where he was anxious about how my life would pan out, and I was hypersensitive and wanted people to see me as a confident, tough guy. We clashed a lot during that time, and every argument was damaging and trivial.

My dad died in 2019. I wish I had not wasted time back then arguing over nonsense.

5. Health Is the Greatest Asset in the World.

Never take good health — physical and mental — for granted. It is your uppermost duty in life to take care of it.

By 2003 I was at my peak of fitness. However, I began suffering severe mental health problems that dogged me for most of the next two decades. I didn’t help myself. I gained a lot of weight. I had to take medication for Cholesterol, and I stopped working out.

Thankfully I made the necessary changes and regained my fitness and then some.

Unfortunately, for the last four weeks, I have been suffering from Covid. It has been a rough time where I almost called for an ambulance on three occasions. I feel I am over the worst now, but I can barely climb a flight of stairs without gasping for breath.

Rest assured that I will bounce back. I will start with short walks, building up to longer ones, and resume my exercise regime step by step.

I will never let myself go as I did at the start of my mental illness journey.

6. Money Is Important for Real Happiness.

I don’t believe people who say money doesn’t bring happiness. While there are more important things in life, such as health and relationships, not having money will drag you down.

If you have enough money to live comfortably, it plays a minimal role in your happiness. However, if you do not have enough money for the essentials, it becomes one of the critical areas of misery in your life.

When people say money can’t buy happiness, they are right to an extent. However, I would rather be miserable in a mansion on a tropical beach than in a bedsit in east London.

In my opinion, investing is the best way to grow wealth. The earlier you start investing, the better due to the benefits of Compound Interest.

I wish I had started investing as a teenager. However, even when I was 30 and had quite a lot of money, I kept it in a savings account, earning virtually no interest, but losing money due to inflation. I felt this was safe, and I was afraid to take a risk.

Now I actively invest my money. I don’t plan to touch it for at least 20 years. I wish I had done it much sooner.

I must stress this is not financial advice, and you should consult with a professional who understands your circumstances and risk tolerance.

7. Value Your Parents.

When we are young, we often take our parents for granted. We don’t think that one day they will die. We don’t consciously think of all the sacrifices our mum and dad make on our behalf — the work they do, the love they give, and their guidance.

As I mentioned earlier, my dad died in 2019. It has left an enormous hole in my life and decimated our family unit. He was very ill for the last year of his life, and so his death was not wholly unexpected, but for the first half of my life, I did not even entertain the idea that one day he wouldn’t be here anymore.

I took it for granted that I had a great dad who loved me, spent time with me and taught me about the world.

I wish I had treasured every second. I certainly treasure every memory.

Conclusion.

Regardless of your age, it is never too late to change. If you note the seven things I have listed above, I am confident you will be happier and healthier for longer. You will have better relationships and will be less likely to succumb to the ravages of mental illness, which is particularly important in a world as uncertain as the one in which we currently live.

Although I am 41, I feel as if I am twenty years younger. The best years of your life are whenever you want them. They are not age-specific.

Start living your best years today.