the mirror in my childhood bedroom still doesn't recognize me

the same mirror

that watched me

try on my mother's lipstick

at seven

practice kissing

my own hand

at thirteen

cry over breakups

that weren't really breakups

at sixteen

now stares back

confused

like it's looking

for someone

who never existed

this mirror

with its chipped corner

from when i threw

a hairbrush

at my reflection

in frustration

at seventeen

doesn't know

this person

standing here

at twenty-five

with short hair

and confident eyes

and a voice

that finally

sounds like home

my mother keeps

my old photos

on the dresser

below the mirror

prom pictures

graduation shots

family portraits

where i'm wearing

dresses that felt

like costumes

and smiles

that never reached

my eyes

she says

you looked so pretty

and i know

she means it

as love

but pretty

was never the goal

the mirror remembers

that other person

the one who stood here

every morning

practicing

how to be

what everyone expected

learning to walk

in heels

that pinched

learning to laugh

at jokes

that weren't funny

learning to shrink

into shapes

that didn't fit

but now

when i look

into this same glass

i see someone

the mirror

never met

someone who wears

their skin

like it belongs

to them

someone who smiles

with their whole face

someone who takes up

the exact amount

of space

they need

my mother

finds me here

staring

she asks

what are you thinking about?

and i want to tell her

about the stranger

in the mirror

about how

this reflection

is both foreign

and familiar

about how

i finally look

like myself

but she wouldn't

understand

that the person

she misses

from these photos

was never really

here

so instead

i say

just remembering

and she hugs me

from behind

and for a moment

we both look

into the mirror

together

she sees

her child

changed

i see

myself

finally

arrived

the mirror

will learn

to recognize

this face

these eyes

this person

who is somehow

both completely new

and who i've

always been

underneath

the costume

i wore

for so many years

in this room

where i first

learned to hide

and now

finally

learned to be

found

this mirror

in my childhood bedroom

is getting

a new story

to remember

and maybe

one day

it will forget

the old one

entirely

and that

would be

just fine

with me