I myself

I was able to compose this for the QVV Challenge at last.

I want to start by saying I know saying "myself" for motivation for goals sounds selfish. But it is more crucial than ever because of how bad my health has been, particularly in the past year.

I have always put others first—their health, their happiness, their safety. In the last six months roughly, I realized that I needed to stop doing that. I need to care about myself so I can care about others more successfully and more genuinely. I've always said, "You can't care about others unless you care about yourself." I've been hypocritical about that ever since I was in elementary school, when I started having empathy and sympathy.

I've finally begun to take my health seriously in the past year. Considering all that has to be done, I'm not even close to being alright. Bipolar 2, eating disorders, generalized anxiety disorder, epilepsy, and functional neurological disorders. Pushing for eating disorder therapy was difficult, and even after two months of treatment, I'm still having problems. I will just suffer a horrible death if I don't continue to battle for my own well-being. I am aware that's the truth. How can I be there for others in need if I don't care for myself for that? 

If I don't take care of my health, both physical and mental, I can't function. I spend about one third of my life unable to function as is. If it gets bad, to how it was a couple years ago, I can't guarantee having the strength to fight that level again.

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Sorry if this didn't make sense, or at least part of how much I want it to. My brain feels fried from staring spells the last couple days.