satire
Potent satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the marijuana sphere.
Libertarian God Questions the Need for so Many Natural Laws
God, creator of all things, the all knowing and all powerful one, shook the universe today when he/she/it questioned the need for so many natural laws. "We have too many laws already" complained the suddenly libertarian leaning God bitterly. "If I want to be in two non coextensive places at the same time, I should be able to be. And why does a thing have to be identical with itself? Why can't it be something different? Moreover, If I want something to be both bigger and larger than another thing I should be able to make it that way. I mean, I am God, right? Right? I say it's time for another way. This universe is being crushed under the weight of too many God damn laws already. Pardon my cursing but dammit I am really annoyed at the moment. It's getting so a guy can hardly breathe without some new law telling him exactly how much air and for exactly how long without the air police coming to his house to write him a ticket and fine him for daring to take a breath at all. It's bullshit is what it is, and wouldn't you know it, guess who is leading the way down this road to tyranny? Surprise, surprise, it's our good friends and step parent wanna be's, the ultimate nanny state, California. They have laws covering every God damn thing. At some point we just have to trust that people are able to make decisions for themselves and they don't need big government or God or anyone telling them how to do it." said a visibly angry God as dark storm clouds swirled around his unbearably bright visage. After a brief pause of just 10,000 years God continued "Yes, we all know (perennial libertarian presidential candidate) Ron Paul is a kook and would make a terrible president but at least he has the right idea when it comes to personal responsibility and the dangers of big government. Even the internet, which was once a place of freedom of expression and a beacon of openness has morphed into a modern day electronic mom. Look no further than Vocal.media, a two bit website with about as many views as a dinner menu in a home for the blind. Their so called community standards and outlandishly stupid 600 word count minimum policies are just two examples of big government, big brotherism run amok." God concluded sadly. With that he turned from the podium bowed his infinitely large head, and walked away.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Potent
The Magpie and the Peacock
by: Dennis R. Humphreys (an allegory) The magpie and the peacock, on occasion, ran into each other. They weren't friends, but often they would get into discussions that lasted all day long, giving you the impression they were. They had one discussion that constantly turned into an argument leaving each of them angered at the other.
By Dennis Humphreys4 years ago in Potent
Dissolving Night: A True-Enough Tale
The day of the art walk was an odd pleasant one, and I strolled with abandon beneath the swirly painting of the Midwestern sky, a heart full of beauty and a head full of acid. I can't recommend the psychedelic addendum enough, as it complements the experience magnificently - as you browse the exhibits you'll find that you understand everything, even things that perhaps weren't intentional parts of said exhibits. You'll even be positioned to understand the patrons, those amateur art critics massaging their chins and tossing out the odd remark about contrast or symbolism in an effort to justify all the free wine and snacks they've been cadging. Consciousness being an illusion that the artist manipulates, those people are more a part of the exhibit than an audience, and you can appreciate them as the artist intended.
By Andrew Johnston5 years ago in Potent
NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS
Did you know that they can spray a distance of 3.5 miles? You wonder why you smell skunk in the house, especially at night. These nocturnal creatures do some of their best work in the evening, and usually the stronger the smell , most likely they are close by. But don't forget to rule out other possibilities, like a natural gas leak. Considering it was early in the morning, and my home is electric, I didn't believe it was a gas leak. Waking up @ 6:30am to begin my day, overwhelmed by the smell of skunk. I panicked thinking that this uninvited guest had inhabited my attic. It didn't seem unlikely, as a bat had taken up residency a few months before. The offensive olfactory odor, was strongest upstairs , as I proved running downstairs, outside to the front and the back of the house, and smelled.....NOTHING!!!. I came back in the house, into the restroom to continue my morning prep routine. As I sat there thinking about HOW a skunk could get into the house, I called upon social media. Some stories indicate that skunks are not the best climbers, yet others indicate that attics and basements are ideal places for them to hide, because they provide shelter from predators. But something stuck out in my memory, that just 2 days before, while driving I noted a dead skunk on the road and the smell gave me an instant headache, as he probably sprayed right before his demise. The odor in my house DID NOT give me that same kind of headache.
By Antonia Webber5 years ago in Potent
Injustice and the Gentle Giant
About eighty years ago a giant was framed for murder. The timeline isn't exact but what we do know is this was an inside job stemming from the highest levels of government. With no real evidence of wrong doing this beautiful creature's reputation was dragged through the streets and blasted over the airwaves as the mastermind behind all the evil this country has ever faced. They vehemently professed; she's ruining your lives... her friends must be criminals... she's going to eat your babies and destroy your marriage! Eek!! Surely, a giant that big she has no faith, soul, or positive attributes to offer society.
By Carlos Wilson8 years ago in Potent
Why I Thank Cannabis For My First Class Honours Degree
Cannabis – the class B ‘gateway drug’ is entirely illegal in the United Kingdom, but nonetheless is prevalent in most average British communities. Living in a lower-class neighbourhood in a region planted with four universities within the student run cities of Newcastle, Durham and Sunderland, I was never short of knowing a dealer.
By Rosalie Khan8 years ago in Potent
Stupid Stoner Fails
When going down the list of the funniest stupid stoner fails, you find a few reoccurring patterns. People usually expose themselves to the law by being idiots or doing something incredibly immoral. They paint weed-hued targets on their heads just by ignoring things like common sense.
By Bethany Tiamat9 years ago in Potent
Best Movies To Watch High
The best movies to watch high aren’t necessarily well-made. In fact, sometimes the funniest movies to watch in that state of mind can be really bad ones. The silly sense of humor that often accompanies pot consumption will make you laugh for hours just because of the stupidity of the film. So what are the best movies to watch high? Read on to find out.
By Johnny Hash9 years ago in Potent
Alcoholics Anonymous Rejects Medical Marijuana, Almost Supported LSD, and How Joe Rogan Could Have Clipped My Nuts
A few weeks ago I was sitting at my desk, typing away at yet another shit stirring story over the perils of marijuana prohibition, when I received a Twitter notice from one of my readers claiming that comedian and all around wise man Joe Rogan was on the air discussing an article I had written for High Times. Being the curious little bastard that I am, I followed the link and I'll-be-damned, sure as shit, there he was, reading a little piece of journalism I had penned back in 2013 entitled "AA Founder Believed LSD Could Cure Alcoholism."
By Mike Adams9 years ago in Potent
