Libertarian God Questions the Need for so Many Natural Laws

God, creator of all things, the all knowing and all powerful one, shook the universe today when he/she/it questioned the need for so many natural laws. "We have too many laws already" complained the suddenly libertarian leaning God bitterly. "If I want to be in two non coextensive places at the same time, I should be able to be. And why does a thing have to be identical with itself? Why can't it be something different? Moreover, If I want something to be both bigger and larger than another thing I should be able to make it that way. I mean, I am God, right? Right? I say it's time for another way. This universe is being crushed under the weight of too many God damn laws already. Pardon my cursing but dammit I am really annoyed at the moment. It's getting so a guy can hardly breathe without some new law telling him exactly how much air and for exactly how long without the air police coming to his house to write him a ticket and fine him for daring to take a breath at all. It's bullshit is what it is, and wouldn't you know it, guess who is leading the way down this road to tyranny? Surprise, surprise, it's our good friends and step parent wanna be's, the ultimate nanny state, California. They have laws covering every God damn thing. At some point we just have to trust that people are able to make decisions for themselves and they don't need big government or God or anyone telling them how to do it." said a visibly angry God as dark storm clouds swirled around his unbearably bright visage. After a brief pause of just 10,000 years God continued "Yes, we all know (perennial libertarian presidential candidate) Ron Paul is a kook and would make a terrible president but at least he has the right idea when it comes to personal responsibility and the dangers of big government. Even the internet, which was once a place of freedom of expression and a beacon of openness has morphed into a modern day electronic mom. Look no further than Vocal.media, a two bit website with about as many views as a dinner menu in a home for the blind. Their so called community standards and outlandishly stupid 600 word count minimum policies are just two examples of big government, big brotherism run amok." God concluded sadly. With that he turned from the podium bowed his infinitely large head, and walked away.

THE END.

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Up to 5 Million Doomsday Preppers Suddenly Disappear

Nothing Left Behind But Neatly Folded Clothes

Bunkers across the Country Empty, Gun and Gas Mask Sellers Predict Catastrophe

In a mysterious occurrence like nothing the world has ever seen up to five million people, all part of the so called ‘preppers’ movement, have suddenly disappeared, leaving nothing but their neatly folded clothing behind. Many non-preppers who were left behind were suggesting that the Biblical end time known as the rapture had come. Local pastor Tim Stephens said in an interview “There can be no doubt that the rapture has indeed come though it has taken a form few had predicted. Instead of taking all the holy and believers in God up to heaven and leaving behind the sinful to fight to the death in a hellish afterscape where only the strongest and most well prepared would survive, it took all of the people who were the most well prepared to survive that nightmare world of death and destruction. What will become of those like us who were left behind now that the preppers are gone? I surely can’t say?” As of 1pm EST the day after the so called prepper rapture the world had declared an end to all wars for all time and began preparing for a utopian future without discord or strife.