"You're So Brave"

i know

i read

brandon teena’s

wiki page more times

than there are hairs

standing up on my body

when i am allowed

to exist in public and

i am

very well-acquainted

with the kind of

five-act tragedy

you expect my life to be

the tragedy

smiles at me

when it runs

into me at the grocery

store it says

maybe we should

get together have coffee i

would rather not

so i shuffle away

quickly in case

you are watching

because

you are

not allowed

to know

my heart rate not

allowed to know my

pulse my vitals

about the flesh

under my belt buckle

you are

not allowed

to imagine what my wings

look like my horns fangs

to understand why i call myself

‘beast’ ‘beauty’

not allowed

to break me because

i will not make me

body an idol of yours

of what you think

bodies should look like

i will

not accept being brave not

because it is a lie but

because it is not what you believe

because you see me as one of the

‘good ones’ because i let you

know only what i want you to this tragedy

is played behind closed curtains i

am not

yellow-bellied and blue

like you think not pink

and needing a shell

like you think not gray

and shriveling

like you think i am

what is never going to

sound right coming

from you

i am

so brave