While Getting My Hormones Refilled at the Pharmacy

i turn

like pockets inside out and emptied

fall back down to earth

and the gray lines in the hoary linoleum

merge gold

prescription in hand

my body gives way to my gratitude

for i remember how i sat on the colorless floor

of a bathroom people said i didn’t belong in

for i remember the lostness

of my hollow reflection whose light

i could not bend to resemble me

but now

my body gives way

i cry:

“pharmacist!

you are a prism!

translate this white fluorescence

into the realized potential of a full spectrum!

pharmacist!

cast the spell of transformation!

from sterility

grant me recognition!

grant me congruence!

grant me life in the shape of color!”

i cry

for this new beard!

for this new voice!

for this body rebuilt with hue!

and i cry

as i reach into the dirt

pull out the vial with both hands

the green label greets me

ever-germinating