Distraction haunts me daily.
If you’re sitting there beside me.
Staring at the back of your head,
To imagine what life with you could be.
Reaching out for more, but coming up empty handed.
And wishing you felt the same clearly isn’t working.
Can I just focus back on the board?
To listen for even just a moment?
I want to study well, but what would it matter?
Only you and your love are useful to me.
Not a silly little degree.
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
I really loved this right from the title :)