Wonderland of Other Queens

I remember magic...

once upon a life ago, it seems,

on Christmas Eve

the twinkle lights would break up all the static,

and I'd fall asleep to sugar-fairy dreams.

Where has all the time gone?

All my rights and wrongs boxed in the attic -

locked between my tiny house's beams,

I am still a little girl chasing the clock held by the rabbit -

like Alice in her Wonderland of Other Queens.

*

I woke up amid her Kingdoms, I...

was running fast but I was shrinking at

the knees;

quicksand caught my feet and I

realized that I was sinking in

the honey made by all her bees.

Buzz, buzz, buzzing (I am always)

busy in my grown-up life, it seems...

but I remember

never feeling dizzy those Decembers (when I'd)

dance amid her blossoming,

candy-land regimes.

*

I do remember magic...

many, many years ago - it seems -

on Christmas Eve

the twinkle lights would break up all the static,

and I'd live among my childlike daydreams.

Where has all the time gone?

I was always so in awe and so ecstatic

those nights we’d catch the fireflies in the moonbeams...

I am still a little girl chasing the clock held by the rabbit -

like Alice in her Wonderland of Other Queens.

*

I was a fairy full of laughter, I...

was happily ever after - always bright;

as I wandered through her lovely gardens,

my senses always sharpened as I

found his smile in the waxing crescent of

the luminescent, calm moonlight.

He was a cat, he was a feline that

represented obsolescent, young delight -

as I dilly-dallied in her roses I

never once supposed that I was walking down an alley with

the end to my dear childhood in sight.

*

Yes and I remember magic...

in a universe that's parallel, it seems,

on Christmas Eve

the twinkle lights would break up all the static,

and I'd watch the ballerinas sparkle in the Nutcracker's best scenes.

Where has all the time gone?

The holidays were always warm and charismatic -

now they're just a memory lost in dreams...

I am still a little girl in centuries past after the rabbit -

like Alice in her Wonderland of Other Queens.

*

Run, run, running (I was always)

running blindly through her woods;

I would've, could've caught him but...

he raced me right (out of the) easy breeze of childhood.

"Catch me if you can" he'd whisper,

he was gingerbread and I -

a silly girl, naive -

"when you're older you'll remember me;

I represent the inner dread of

never fully reaching or achieving your big dreams."

*

Oh, how I remember magic...

a million trillion years ago, it seems,

on Christmas Eve

the twinkle lights would break up all the static,

and I'd fall asleep stuffed full of cookies and ice cream.

Where has all the time gone?

Everything was always so enigmatic -

now everything is fabricated by machines,

I am still a little girl chasing whimsically-created, small white rabbits -

like Alice in her Wonderland of Other Queens.

*

Small I may have been, but I {{was mighty}};

with my lantern I glowed brightly through her perilous,

strange world -

I was never scared though I

could have easily been eaten up alive (for I)

was always just a careless, wide-eyed girl.

Now I'm all grown up and I...

I am afraid that I'm not brave, you see, I'm always

frightened by the shadows on my wall -

by the {{monsters}} deep inside of me...

by all the things I think are monsters

but aren't really monster-ish at all.

*

Yes and I remember magic...

once upon a life ago, it seems

on Christmas Eve

the twinkle lights would break up all the static,

and I'd fall asleep to Santa and his reindeer in my dreams.

Where has all the time gone?

I've made mistakes and formed bad habits, I'm

a broken-hearted woman [[ripping at her seams]],

I am still a little girl who's tripping as I try to catch the rabbit -

like Alice in her Wonderland of Other Queens.

*

Fly away I did, when I was

finally ready - I'd grown wings;

without the weight I drifted, I

realized I wasn't heavy, I...

was now a puppet without strings.

But then somehow I found myself all twisted (with)

the place amid the wild, wild things...

they told me as

a woman I should look in my *own soul* to finally

find my inner queen -

but what they hid from me (was that, you see)

as a woman, I

was still [[inferior to other beings]].

*

Yes, and I remember magic...

once upon a life ago, it seems

on Christmas Eve

the twinkle lights would break up all the static,

and my side of grass was always just the

very greenest green of greens.

Where has all the time gone?

Now I am a nomadic,

problematic coffee addict (in the)

dimness and moonbeams...

I will always be a little girl who chases minutes, dreams, and rabbits -

(yes, for I am Alice...)

I will never be a Queen of Wonderland (or of)

my own reality.

-Gina C. 🧚‍♀️✨

***

This poem is part of my Signature collection, which is rich in rhyme, very lyrical, quite expansive, and often full of notable, magical elements. If you are interested in reading more poems from this collection, try this one: