Why Me

The scent of your strong whiskey fills the air

Suffocating my breaths with your presence

My hands rested on the edge of your cold car, not driven for days.

You leave me shivering in the cold brick room you left me in

Covered in sheets left behind like you have done to me

Shattered glass covers the floor in the room as if i am trapped

With the broken pieces of the stained frame which you once held.

The silence of the night feels the air, leaving me with the screaming paranoia of my thoughts.

Waking up in the same puddle of sweat I fell asleep in

Days are warm, too warm to leave my room

My safe haven,

Yet designed by you.

The wind screams through the cracks in the window seal weeping for my attention,

Laying along the pavement feeling the drops against my skin,

Still not feeling anything inside.

What have you done?

I stay awake hoping i’d hear your last words to me

With me resting my head on the other side of the door, begging you to let me free

Crawling into my bed staring into my lamp that shines a light in my day.

I want to get up but I can’t,

I still feel my veins throbbing at the feeling of where your hands once grabbed me.

Clenched in anger and despite.

With your eyes looking into mine, not being able to recognise you no more.

Are you a stranger?

Are you the queen that soiled the hallways run by a king?

The reason I can’t sleep

The reason I don’t move and the feeling of anything sends my body to shut.

I could jump in the ocean on an early winters morning,

The cold water would numb my skin but never as cold as the heart who once loved.

Every door that slams shut, sounds like an earthquake in my system.

I am not strong, I am worthless playing a game without employment.

Designed by the devil reincarnated

With the insides as empty as a tomb left without an echo.

Why?

Why does it have to be me who suffers while you can can’t see